Why even bother when the choices are bleak?!
Question: Let me start off my setting some background to my dilema; over eight years ago my father died after having a stroke. Ever since my mother has had to sometimes work two jobs to keep us financially afloat. For about six years after he passed away I spent alot of time with my grandparents and consequently did not do much outside of school and a couple of extracurriculars.
After moving away for school I always had this feeling that I cannot go too far away because my mom doesnt have anyone left. I dont feel good going out with friends because it leaves her home alone.
I think the thing I am most afraid of is becoming like my aunt. She moved away from home for a while but shortly after my father, her brother died, she moved back home with her parents, and now is overweight, alone, and has become a dependent on her parents as much as they are on her. She is trapped there without an escape route.
I have always tried to busy myself with so much that I dont have time to socialize
Answers: Let me start off my setting some background to my dilema; over eight years ago my father died after having a stroke. Ever since my mother has had to sometimes work two jobs to keep us financially afloat. For about six years after he passed away I spent alot of time with my grandparents and consequently did not do much outside of school and a couple of extracurriculars.
After moving away for school I always had this feeling that I cannot go too far away because my mom doesnt have anyone left. I dont feel good going out with friends because it leaves her home alone.
I think the thing I am most afraid of is becoming like my aunt. She moved away from home for a while but shortly after my father, her brother died, she moved back home with her parents, and now is overweight, alone, and has become a dependent on her parents as much as they are on her. She is trapped there without an escape route.
I have always tried to busy myself with so much that I dont have time to socialize
Wow. I can't imagine the loss your family feels. It's important to express your tenderness and care towards your mother, but if you focus on that entirely, you will not have an opportunity to find yourself. This can develop behaviors like adapting to the needs and desires of those close to you. This is harmful to relationships because you'll feel victimized for having to give so much, and sacrifice things, and not get the same level in return. You need to set some boundaries immediately. Not only with how much time and energy you dedicate to your mother, but also the precious attention you need to put on you.