Bulimia recovery: what has helped you recover?!
Question: I've been struggling with an eating disorder for several years. I'm constantly going between intense anorexia and intense bulimia. Bulimia is the one that really gets me down, and I'm going through one of those crazy bulimic/binging periods right now and I'm so desperate for help.
I'm going to therapy, but for those of you who have recovered: what has helped you (aside from therapy) overcome the need to binge (and thus purge)? How did you find that sense of balance to eat normally without binging?
Thank you.
Answers: I've been struggling with an eating disorder for several years. I'm constantly going between intense anorexia and intense bulimia. Bulimia is the one that really gets me down, and I'm going through one of those crazy bulimic/binging periods right now and I'm so desperate for help.
I'm going to therapy, but for those of you who have recovered: what has helped you (aside from therapy) overcome the need to binge (and thus purge)? How did you find that sense of balance to eat normally without binging?
Thank you.
I had eating disorders for about seven years. I know how frustrating it is, especially the bulemia, because with anorexia you at least feel like you're in control (even though, in fact, the eating disorder is controlling you), but with bulemia you feel completely out of control. I really really really understand how frustrated you feel.
To be honest with you, I had a slightly different disorder -- non-purging bulemia. I had this weird insistence that if I 'misbehaved' by overeating, I would have to 'take my lumps'. I forced myself to deal with the consequences of overeating -- i.e. weight gain.
I went to therapy and even turned to religion out of desperation to gain more control over my eating habits. I remember being so confused why my prayers weren't being answered.
One thing that I believe was a milestone in my recovery was that my role models suddenly changed. When I was an anorexic teenager, I thought models like Kate Moss were beautiful. In my early twenties, I started to think Jennifer Lopez was beautiful. I honestly think that my changing conceptions of the 'beautiful body' helped me overcome my need to be superthin. I also attended a body image discussion group at my local mental health clinic. I strongly recommend doing that. It made me feel like I was doing something for myself.
Also, in my early twenties one of my mentors at school was a man who was really tall and strong. I admired how 'solid' he was. Before, the people I admired most were the thin people because I believed they had more self-discipline. As I became more open-minded, I realized that there is way more to life than being a self-disciplinarian.
I began to think in terms of health, and realized that a balanced diet and healthy fats were a good thing. I try to exercise regularly but it doesn't always happen. I eat whatever I want now, and I'm really good-looking! :-)
Another HUGE thing is to start dealing with the underlying issues. Sure, eating disorders are largely about body image, but they are usually deeper than that. I used to avoid problems, and to be honest I still do sometimes, but I'm getting better and better at talking about my issues with my friends (or counsellor). I'm also becoming more assertive, which used to be a problem for me.
I'm so glad to have that behind me. At the time it felt like it would never end, but for me it finally did. Take baby steps and celebrate every little victory. For example, when I used to overeat, I'd cancel whatever plans I'd made to go out, because I was feeling too full. One day I decided to just say "screw that" and go out anyway. That's one example of not letting my problem control the rest of my life.
I wish you all the best.
EDIT: Oh I forgot a HUGELY important thing in my recovery: humour! My dad was awesome at this. He'd make fun of me. Once I told him about how I binge-ate some ice cream in these people's house I was staying at. I had felt so guilty about it, but my dad just laughed and said, "Jennifer's first question when she arrives at someone's house for a visit, is 'where are the spoons?'"
Also, once when my dad asked me what I wanted for dinner, I said, "I don't care, I'll eat anything. I don't even care what it tastes like." And he laughed and joked about how I have the taste buds of a horse. My counsellor was kind of concerned about my dad's use of humour -- she thought that maybe it would make me feel like my problem wasn't being taken seriously. But it really lightened the mood for me. My mom kind of balanced my dad. She took my disorder more seriously. She really wanted me to start eating 'normally' again, partly because she herself struggled with overeating when she was younger and really understood the pain I was going through. (My parents are divorced by the way). Anyway, I recommend inviting the people in your life to participate in your recovery by being open with them about it. Watch funny movies and hang out with funny people because laughter really is GREAT medicine.
XOXOX
Jen