Bulimic colleague?!
Question: I posted a similar question a while ago but didn't get an answer that was suitable.
I know my colleague is bulimic, she eats and eats and eats all day then makes some excuse to go to the toilet straight afterwards. She does this at least twice a day. She is only about a size 6 and I'm really worried about her health. Do I just keep my nose out or should I confront her? She must be doing herself some serious damage but she can't see it herself.
Some good advice would be appreciated.
Answers: I posted a similar question a while ago but didn't get an answer that was suitable.
I know my colleague is bulimic, she eats and eats and eats all day then makes some excuse to go to the toilet straight afterwards. She does this at least twice a day. She is only about a size 6 and I'm really worried about her health. Do I just keep my nose out or should I confront her? She must be doing herself some serious damage but she can't see it herself.
Some good advice would be appreciated.
It's an incrediably tough call. People with eating disorders are often out of control. VERY defensive. Doesn't mean you shouldn't, it just means you have to be aware the answer you get maybe quite negative.
I think you should say something, but not in the work environment. Take this girl out for a coffee or something and talk to her about your concerns. Offer to help her find some councilling and ask her how she feels about herself. It's going to be awkward, but she needs help.
You are very good to notice and very good to care. Lots of people would walk away from that situation to avoid the difficulties of confrontation.
Confront her. I had an eating disorder which spiralled out of control. If only someone had taken an interest at the time.
If you care enough to confront her about her bulimia, then you should. Just make sure you're not accusatory when you do so. Tell her, "I am worried about you, I see you eat a lot but you never gain any weight." Use "I" statements rather than "you" statements, conveying that you are concerned about her and want to help. She will probably still be defensive, but perhaps if you find a therapist, a support group, a website or chat room that deals with these issues, you can provide her with some possible solutions to her problem. If she just begins a dialogue with you about it, that is a very good start. Let her know she can tell you anything and you will keep it to yourself; she probably needs to confide in someone and is fearful that too many people will find out.
You are a good friend for doing this, and it's a very noble thing to care enough to confront.
Definitely. No one likes confrontation, but if you really care about her you should let her know that you're concerned. She might blow you off, but it will mean something to her that you had the guts to do that. Lots of times people with eating disorders want to know that others care. Not to mention that bulimia has a lot of health risks. I had anorexia, and if no one had confronted me I would have never sought help. Have you talked to her family about this? If all of you confront her at once, she may be more likely to get treatment.
Eating disorders thrive in secret. Getting it out in the open is a start.
Hope this helps :)
Don't confront her as she would probably become angry and defensive.
Maybe, (if this is possible) get her working with you or invite her to have lunch with you, then you could lightly ask her some questions and show her that you are concerned and want to help her.
If things get worse or she flatly refuses your help/friendliness or refuses to get help, then you will need to take it a step further, maybe talk to your boss or someone else under higher authority about your worries, that you have tried to help but she won't let you and that you have noticed that things have gone downhill abit. Then leave it to them.
I hope that things get sorted and that she gets better soon.
I would have loved to have someone like you around when I was having difficulties.
i used to do that i would try and help her she'll probably not listen but at least if you ask her you have tried your best if she has kids try and frighten her by saying think of the kids what they will go through if she isnt there thats what i did to stop
Confront her. Be prepared for denials and anger, so come armed with information about stars (like Karen Carpenter of The Carpenters) dying at 32 due to heart failure.
She is rejecting something about herself that she hates, and she needs counseling to get to the bottom of why the binges and purges.
You are a good friend for wanting to take this on. If there is such a thing as an eaters, or bulimics, or anorexic anonymous, take her. Stay with her.
What kind of colleague -- what is our business? If it is one in which your company can be forced to take health exams, get the boss involved in having a traveling nurse come in and talk to the company about health issues.
My brother went to one of these groups, and he followed through with a cardiologist. He was put into the hospital that day, and ended up with a quintuple bypass. Some of his arteries were 100% blocked, but the body was building capillaries behind the heart for the blood flow.
Be the friend you are -- get help about eating disorders and then talk face to face about what you know and what you plan to do to help her. I hope some of my ideas have helped you.