I lost my dad to a head on car accident 2 months ago and feel lifeless?!


Question: I want to move on, but I just see no light at the end of the tunnel. My last thoughts of my dad are of him in the ICU paralyzed and in a coma....how do I get these thoughts out of my head?


Answers: I want to move on, but I just see no light at the end of the tunnel. My last thoughts of my dad are of him in the ICU paralyzed and in a coma....how do I get these thoughts out of my head?

It's very hard on you for two reasons ... you lost your dad, and you saw him 'helpless and hopeless' in the hospital. It could be worse, though ... what if he'd died and you HAD NOT SEEN HIM AT ALL before the death? Go ahead and think of your dad ... but you should also start taking steps to stop thinking about him as much and as often, so you can get on with your own life. Try sitting down for an hour EVERY DAY for a month and writing him a letter, telling him how much you miss him, and what you 'did' that day ... and sign it with 'I love you, Dad' and your name. Write in your BEST penmanship, on good paper, and keep the letters in a box. After the first month, write to him for an hour once a week. After doing that for three months, write once a month for the rest of the year. In the last letter say GOODBYE to him, and say that you hope he is happy in Heaven and you'll see him when you get there (whether you believe in Heaven or not, this is a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE and you MUST write it out). Then, take the box of letters and roll each letter up and tie it with a bow. Carry the box to a place where you can legally build a small bonfire (a barbecue will do if you can't have an 'open fire') and read through the letters from the 'first one' to the 'last one' and after you read each, roll it and tie it and let it burn in the fire. When you are done, burn the box if you want, or take it home to 'occasionally write to Dad' and put the letters in to 'mail them to him in Heaven.' You will be much better if you do this AS PRESCRIBED ... it will take TIME for you to stop 'dwelling' on your dad, but it will happen, and the 'letters' will help you to 'concentrate' on him at a 'certain time' every day, so you will be able to 'think and do things again' because you can 'tell him' in each letter when you write it. Good luck ...

Go see a pychatrist. they can help you.
Sorry about your loss hope you feel better soon hun.

{{{Big hug}}}...My dad died of lung cancer 3 yrs ago. It seems that the only visual memory (even though I am 45 yrs old.) is of him bald and in his hospice bed. I understand....I am sorry. It will take some time. TRUST ME...

You will - eventually. It takes time hun - I lost my Mom 18 years ago - I still go to phone her about something on tv. Give yourself time and be good to yourself. Talk about your Dad and enjoy his memory!

I found comfort talking to others in my family who have experienced loss.

This is so difficult... im so sorry for your loss, i don't know what i would do. I guess if you try to think about the great things in his life and how he lived. My best suggestion would be to talk to someone you trust and get your feelings out

I don't know if you a spiritual person but try praying. Ask the Lord to guide you through this tough time. Ask him to take the pain from your heart. Give it to him.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep your head up and have some faith in the Lord.

I am so sorry for your loss. 2 months isn't very long to get over something like that. It will take a long time, but things will get better. You will never forget him, you will never stop missing him, but things will get easier. Their are grief web sites out there that might help - Good Grief is one. Also a grief counselor or support group might help. I lost my dear sister in August and it just takes a long time to get over something like that. Good luck. Things will get easier.

That is terrible & I am sorry for your loss.
I can't even imagine how I'd deal with something like that.
I guess I'd figure that my dad wouldn't want me to stop living. He'd want me to be mournful but to move on with my life. He'd want me to accomplish my goals and to continue reaching for the stars. He'd be proud of me knowing that I am living the life he helped in providing for me.

I am sorry sweetie jsut remember if God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.

wow, thats an awful experience. :( im sorry.
im sorry, but it seems like time only heals these wounds. talk to someone about how you feel, and dont bottle your feelings.
that will make things worse.
everything happens for a reason, you just have to know things will get better.
instead of remembering your last memories, think of all the good times with him, and how much he loved you, and how much you loved him.

things are bound to get better, i promise. you just have to live the life you know he'd want you to live.

It will get better, time is really the only thing that will help. If you feel the need to talk about it, you might try grief counseling. It doesn't work for everyone, so do it only if you feel the need.

I am so sorry for your loss. I send my thoughts and prayers to you. You may want to consider seeing a counselor who can help you sort out your feelings. You can get a referral through your family doctor or if you do not have a doctor, you can call your city/town's local social services department and see if they have any recommendations. It will help you to talk about it. Take care of yourself.

Sweetie only time can heal that wound, i would definitely go and talk to a councilor or someone, and i am SOOOO sorry for your loss.

I lost both my parents to cancer, 6 years ago. I know how you feel. You have to start thinking of the good times you have had together. Always know he is with you.It's ok too cry i still do. try to keep your mind off of it all the time. It takes a long while to stop hurting but it will ease. Talk about him to family friends that helps too. Im sorry for your lose.It will get better believe me.

I



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