What is the best way to overcome fears of childbirth?!
Question: Does this fear subside when you go into labor. I am in my 37th week of pregnancy and I am PETRIFIED about going into labor, having an epidural, a c-section and anything to do with the whole process.
I have tried many things, among them meditation about a positive labor experience and nothing has eased my fears. Can someone please share with me what their experiences were like and how they overcame their fear?
Answers: Does this fear subside when you go into labor. I am in my 37th week of pregnancy and I am PETRIFIED about going into labor, having an epidural, a c-section and anything to do with the whole process.
I have tried many things, among them meditation about a positive labor experience and nothing has eased my fears. Can someone please share with me what their experiences were like and how they overcame their fear?
I just had a baby 10 months ago and I know exactly what you are going through. He was my first baby and I had no idea what to expect. I couldn't even talk to my mom about what was going on because I was adopted and she had never been pregnant. By the time I got to 38 week the dr told me there was a good chance I would need to be induced because I was not progressing quickly enough. Of course I did the natural thing and looked up induction on the internet. BIG mistake. I read all these horror stories about how dangerous being induced was and all the bad things that could happen. That made me even more scared. Then I discovered Y! Answers and the pregnancy section. I asked for stories about induction and finally heard some good things. But as the day got closer I couldn't stop thinking about all the horror stories. I think knowing exactly when you are going to give birth can actually make the experience scarier. The night before I spent the whole night awake and crying because I did not want to go to the hospital the next day. I even told my husband to call and cancel because I would just wait until my son was ready to come out on his own no matter how long it took. I spent the night writing a letter to my son, I did that a lot in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Just telling him how big I was and how much he kicked and how I couldn't wait to meet him. That seemed to help ease the fear. The morning of my induction we went to the dr first and the decided I was ready to be induced. We went over to the hospital around 8:30am, got situated in our room which was really nice and comfy. There was even a chair that converted into a bed for my husband to sleep on. They wrapped a contraction monitor around my belly and found out that I was already having little contractions. I did not even feel them. They put an IV in and then a dr came in to insert a long thin ribbon like device that he said was cervadil a medication to help "ripen" my cervix. It was uncomfortable when he pushed it inside but then I did not even feel it. After that we were just kind of told to hang out and wait. I wasn't allowed to eat bedause of the epidural I would be getting. I spent the day laying around watching TV and entertaining visitors. My contractions were not bad at all. They just felt like bad period cramps. It was kind of neat to watch them on the monitor. Around 11 pm the dr came in to remove the cervadil and about 1 minute after he pulled it out my water broke. The nurse said that was very good and she would be back at 1 to start the pitocin. When she came back to do that I got scared. Everything I had read said that the contractions on pitocin are unbearable. Well she started the IV at 1am and I was still fine. Around 3am I finally buzzed her and asked for the IV pain killer that she had offered. The contractions still weren't overly painful but I was having back labor, which is when you feel the contraction is your lower back. That was starting to hurt and I wanted to get some sleep. That was the other problem. I usually slept on my left side because of the heartburn but the nurses said I had to lay on my right side because according to the fetal heart monitor the baby did not like the left side. Around 7 am I called the nurse and told her I was ready for the epidural. (Which I could have had sooner I just didn't need it) I was very scared about that procedure. The nurse had me sit up and slump my shoulders. The dr came in and the only part about it that hurt was the shot of novacaine. They inserted the epidural IV and I felt like a new woman. No more pain. It was wonderful. Then I had to pee. The nurse let me try and go in a bed pan but I couldn't so they inserted a cathater which I did not feel thanks to the epidural. Around 11:30am the nurse came to check and said I was ready to push. My husband stood on one side holding one leg and the nurse on the other. This was the hard part. I pushed but he did not want to come out. I will warn you there is a good chance that you will poop on the table. It is a good thing though because it means you are pushing properly. I did and there was nothing I could do about it. Finally the dr said that I would need an episiotomy. I had to look away because I did not want to see the look on my husbands face when they cut. Of course you don't feel a thing. Once the dr cut he said one more big push. So I did and with a big sploosh he was out. I can't describe the way that feels once he was out. It was like all the pressure was just gone. It was wonderful. Unfortunatly the episiotomy wasnt enough and I tore. The dr stitched me up while they cleaned up the baby and then I finally got to hold my little man in my arms. They say that as soon as you hold the baby you forget all about the delivery. That's not true you don't forget but holding the baby makes everything you went through truly worth it. After delivery a lactation consultant comes to show you how to breastfeed and they let you shower. Don't be afraid of all the blood and the clots that come out in the next few days. If you do get an episiotomy it will be uncomfortable to walk for a few days but by the time I went home 3 days after delivery I was ok. When you pack remember to bring maternity clothes to get home in. I still looked about 6 months pregnant. I would recommend picking up some extra strenght incontinence pads for the post partum bleeding. The regular menstral pads aren't absorbant enough. Also I found that the first time you have sex especially if you had an episiotomy it is uncomfortable at first but it gets better. Also I waited about 4 months even though the dr gave me the ok at about 6 weeks. Sorry this was so long but if somone had taken the time to walk me through a delivery I think I would have been much better off. Feel free to email me if you need any other help.
remind yourself that every animal gives birth, and if they can do it, so can you
Totally normal the way you are feeling, just try to relax and not think about it... It is really not as bad as you are thinking it is.. Is it painful yeah! Does the epidural hurt no if you do get one you feel much better afterwards! Believe me after all is done you will forget the pain you went through when your child is here..
Talk to other mothers who have gone thru each process. They did it & so can you. I am sure they will be caring as I guarantee, they were fearful too. This way, you will initiate your own support group. God Bless!
Did you take childbirth classes? they helped me immensely. Just stay relaxed, breathe, and remember, every contraction brings you closer to your baby. Once in the situation, you kinda forget about the fears and go with it.
Nothing....it's a natural thing that all women go through especially when its almost time...the closer you are to the end it seems the harder it is to cope....DON'T worry...I've had 2 babies...both were big boys (over 8) and it really isn't all that bad...at the time it seems like it is but once it is over it's like a relief....My oldest I had NO medications...I would have gone the same route with my youngest too but I didn't know how much longer I would have been in labor for (I was in for about 14 hours) I got a shot of demerol and had him less that 45 minutes later ...I was ticked! Just sit there and try to think of what you baby might look like, his/her smell, tiny fingers and toes and how perfect he/she is....that might ease your fears a little....Good luck and God bless!
Oh how I wish I could be with you. I felt the same way with my first, that was 41 yrs ago and there were no epidurals. Once labor started, I forgot all about that and couldn't wait for the baby to be born. I also witnessed the birth of my grandchildren, all my daughters had the epidural except one. I couldn't believe how they slept through their labor. I was watching the monitor that would how when a contraction was beginning, it's peak, then as it would subside. My daughter slept through it all. The only time she woke up when was she felt some pressure near her pelvis and she asked the nurse what it was. "The baby is ready to be born" While the little guy was coming out, she remained calmed and never felt any pain. She asked me why she didn't feel any pain and of course it was because of the epidural. I never had one and I asked her how it felt having while the epidural was being inserted, she told me she was scared at first and never felt anything because whe asked them when they were going to start and they told her it was in. So please don't be afraid. I hope I helped alleviate your fears. You have it a heck of a lot better than I did when I had kids. But, it's called progress. Good luck and I pray you are blessed with a wonderful healthy baby.
I think we all have our quiet fears before the birth.
The happy news, is you will be so busy and focussed on your baby arriving, that magically, the fear just goes. It's kind of replaced with anticipation. After you have got through your first contraction and realise - hey I managed that, I can do this - it all becomes pretty OK.
All the maybe extras - C sections; epidurals etc. are not stock standard for the vast majority of births.
Take your mother, or a friend who has had a child with you.
The rush of hormones immediately afterwards (that leaves you with baby brain for the next year!) is a cocktail of chemicals from your body that happily let you forget the yukky bits really quickly.
It's still not too late to do some ante natal classes if you havent already. They really help.
It's natural to feel scared, particularly because so many people are so ready to tell you their horror stories about child birth! The very best advice I received was from my midwife. I was telling her pretty much the same thing that you have written here and she said, "Melanie, child birth is not a test you can study for and it's not something you can fail. It's not something that you can do wrong. When it's time for the baby to be born, your body will take over and it will just happen. It will be OK." And she was right!
It might also help to think of all of the people you know who have more than one child. They did it once and decided they could do it again - - so how bad can it be?
Try not to focus on the things that can go wrong. Try to think of that moment when you get to meet your new baby. It's an amazing, indescribable, life changing, joyful, heart filling moment. So amazing that you quickly forget the discomfort that leads up to it.
You're almost there! Hang in there!
Okay I will be honest, pain medications for child birth are very good I have had two types of births one wonderful and the other the worst ever ( I was in another country, no pain med). Durring my worst labor my mother was there as my hubby went for a coffee and she had 5 children. I started to panic and I totally made it worse. When she saw this she started reminding me to breath in the nose out the mouth and she repeated this to me when I was getting worked up. It got me through and reduced the pain.
When I had my son I had an epidural and it was wonderful (very little pain at all) although the epidural was uncomfortable... but not NEAR having my baby with no epidural. My water leaked in the middle of the night, it felt like I didn't wipe good enough after using the bathroom. I wen't to my doc the next day and she said it was the fluid and sent me over to the other building to have the baby. I got pitocin and an epidural before any real contractions. I talked to people all day long laughing and it was great fun. I went to sleep around 10:30 while having huge contractions I didn't even feel. I was even talking on the phone with people when the monitors were recording mountains of contractions. At around 3 am I awoke with sorta a pressure feeling and buzzed the nurse. It felt like I had to poo but it was time. This is the point where I changed and for some unknown reason felt invincible and focused. It was just my body getting ready. Amazing really.
Don't worry about pooping on the table before labor (maybe a day or two) a pregnant woman get's loose movements... like before your period. It is the bodies way of clearing out your system preparing for labor. Even if you feel like you are in labor it ia more likely that you are not making a BM, you are just pushing properly. Also, the area is kept sterile as they wash the area and a blue paper with a hole is put over you covering your anus. So, not even the doctor sees if by chance you do. I had two and never did.
I had him like an hour later everything was fine, I had a small episiotomy. I didn't even feel it when they did it or when the stiched it.
After birth, you feel cramps like after your period. And you will be sore almost bruised feeling down below. Urinating can sting a litlle so my mom bought me a little squirt bottle and told me to fill it with warm water. When urinating squrt the area with warm water and it totally helps. I would not pee with out the squirt bottle. And pooing after is not as bad as you think it will be. Just go.
So take the epidural and I would also hold off on breaking the water until right before giving birth if you can.
Really, don't be worried, it is really cool.
Aslo, I would like to point out adrenaline is released when you have a baby and it makes you feel like superwoman. My whole thinking changed as I went into the final stage of labor (the pushing part) I was very focused and didn't say much at all. Just remember to breath deep... in the nose, out the mouth.