When did you have "the talk"?!


Question: I found out in grade 4 or 5 and the Health Nurse came in

It's so funny now to think back to how much giggling we did! :P


Answers: I found out in grade 4 or 5 and the Health Nurse came in

It's so funny now to think back to how much giggling we did! :P

When did you have the talk?

Wow, I have been reading a sea of blog entries on teenage pregnancy since the whole thing with the Spears family has come out. Ironically, the feel-good movie of the year is, "Juno" which also deals with the issue of teenage pregnancy.


I suspect you brought this up not to stir up controversy, but only to understand how other parents have dealt with topics such as these.


I have had MANY smaller conversations with my own children starting from the time they were about 3. Our approach was to use proper terminology ALWAYs, and wanted our children- a 5 year-old daughter and a 3 year-old son to know that their bodies are NOT shameful. Their questions are answered with age-appropriate facts and answers. I want them to have a grounded basic knowledge before they start hearing things on the playgorund, the school bus, etc. And that goes for more than the Sex talk, too. Drugs, alcohol, etc.


I have been answering my son's questions along the way. By the age of 6; he knew he was a baby in my tummy and that he had to come out (and the general region). He also has some clue about what a woman's period is (i.e. the body was preparing for a baby and before that can happen again it needs to "clean out"). Our church has a great video series they go through every couple of years that tries to hit the subject at age appropriate levels. The first video we watched together, then next time around he'll be ready for the next video.


I know there's a high teen pregnancy rate right now. But I also feel fortunate to be in this current generation. We can be open with our kids. My parents found it extremely difficult to talk about such things, and we still don't talk on several subjects. I hope to create some responsibility in my son and daughter and help them connect actions with consequences. It's something my parents didn't really drive home for me. So it's one of the things I am determined to improve upon. I intend to help him see that children are wonderful gifts but hard work and that sex can (and should be) a gift to your spouse inside of marriage.


So we never had "The Talk." Rather, it has been MANY smaller conversations, along the way. Proper body part terminology, this is where babies grow, etc., always age-appropriate. I've always wanted them to feel comfortable talking to me about sexuality, and wanted them to get that message early. About once a year, we have a "sleep-over" where we camp out in sleeping bags in the living room. It's often easier for them to ask questions when it's dark -- they feel less embarrassed that way. And especially when they were younger, library books were very useful. I'd bring home a couple, leave them around to be looked at, then we'd look at them together and I could answer questions. If they don't get accurate information from me, they'll get inaccurate information from somebody else


I think there are so many things we need to "talk" with our children about, as they get so many conflicting stories from friends and other places. I started when my children were as young as 3 telling them the correct terminology or body part names And we had what others refer to as "the talk" when they were in their pre-teens- at 10 and 9.

The reason being, 10 was when I noticed my son started having a slight interest in girls- he was past the girls have cooties stage and 9 with my daughter because I knew she would more then likely start having her menstrual cycle in the following year of so. I have always been very open with my children and for that matter their friends, when I believe the situation calls for it and when they ask me a question.


I also started doing this because my daughter was very upset one day and it took quite some time for her to finally tell me what was wrong, come to find out, some friends of hers told her if your breasts are not the same size- i.e. one bigger then the other, you have breast cancer! Then one of her friends said in a conversation, I heard you can only get pregnant while you are menstruating! Kids need us to be honest and I really think that 9 and 10 is about the time to have the talk and be honest and thorough.


Now, I am really curious who out there has had the talk and at what age you discussed this? Was it you and your husband together? Did the conversation stem from a particular circumstance or was it just something you decided to talk about with your child? Did you talk from the heart or did you tackle the discussion with some learning materials?


I guess what I am asking is, what can we as parents do to help prevent our children from becoming a statistic?

In our family the talk begins when kids are quite young. We tell them how to be modest and why it is important. We talk about good and bad touching.

By the time our kids were 5 our kids were are of where a baby comes from.

By ten they know how to make them and learn about how to protect agains preg. and infections.

at 13 when the kids start hanging on each other like boy and girlfriend the storys are told about others who may have children young or diseases and how they may feel about their new life.
We incourage open family conversations on this subject and do not exclude the younger kids from the conversation.
I guess it comes up in our health classes in about 5th grade here.

In 3rd grade via our teacher. Giggling was strictly forbidden, and the graphics pretty expoitive, so there were lots of scarry stares... {;-)

oh mine came from my mother the night before my wedding.
I was so embarrassed, she did it in front of my 5 bridesmaids.
I was 21!
holy cow how could she think I didn't know? I was already nursing LOL

Plus my hubby and I were active before our wedding so i don;t know what she was thinking.

With our children, we have a son and daughter.
We told them little bits and pieces as they grew up. From the age of 2 they have called body parts by name...by age 5 they knew where babies come from(not in massive detail, just enough to answer their questons) and by 3rd grade they knew all they needed to know about sex, changes in their bodies and what to expect as the reached puberity.
We talk about drugs, drinking, bad choices, good choices.
It's made us closer that they can openly talk infront of my hubby(their dad) and I... the night they learned about condoms ended in giggles as they blow them up and raced to see who could bust theirs first... lol
We never really had 'the talk' it just all came together as they got older.
It has proven to be a huge protection for them, they don't have to seek answers from peers and others which means they have the right information.
They're now 15 and 17 and fully clued up on life!
It ended up being good that we did things this way because at 9 years of age our daughter got her 1st period. She took it in her stride because she knew what to expect and her brother who is the eldest has been so sweet and supportive to her, I'm sure it's because he knows it all too and understands.
It's also helps that they are best friends. they're both there for each other...as a mum I couldn't wish for more.

They both know the story of what their grandmother did to me and both of them often stir me about it saying ... 'mum its time you and i had that talk!'...it's really become a joke between us.

12th grade was when health teacher came in & talked about it, but i found out in 4-6 grade by my classmates. but if really was funny since we were all inmature & laughed at everything she said.lol

around 5th grade...





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