Ways to cope.. you help please!?!
Question: Hi All,
My mom had brain surgery in Oct 2006 and she nearly lost her life! It was an ordeal that I never wanted to go through ever again and unfortunately, she has to have another brain surgery this coming April! I am scared to death!! How can I be strong for my mom? I've been to see my doctor and explained the situation and he's put me on an anti-anxiety medication and it's really helped relax me because last time I saw my mom in hospital I was soooo anxious and thought I was going to pass out with seeing her in that condition. my mom means all the whole world to me.
Answers: Hi All,
My mom had brain surgery in Oct 2006 and she nearly lost her life! It was an ordeal that I never wanted to go through ever again and unfortunately, she has to have another brain surgery this coming April! I am scared to death!! How can I be strong for my mom? I've been to see my doctor and explained the situation and he's put me on an anti-anxiety medication and it's really helped relax me because last time I saw my mom in hospital I was soooo anxious and thought I was going to pass out with seeing her in that condition. my mom means all the whole world to me.
(((((hug))))))
Personally I would pray, but that might not be approapriate for you. i'm sure throught the hospital or your own doctor, there'd be some councelling service set up for this type of thing, or a support group. Talking to other people who are going through the same, or similar experiences, can be so helpful. She's obviously a tough cookie, your Mom and a fighter and i'm sure you mean the world to her too. Remember to take good care of yourself and surround yourself with friends and family that can give you a break and help you feel supported.
Very good luck to you both and if you don't mind I will mention you and her in MY prayers.
Its very sweet that you feel this way for your mom,but she is your mom and she proberly knows you better than you know yourself so she is already aware of how you are feeling.You have to be strong because you dont want your mom worrying abot you at a time like this .Put on a brave face but if needs be when you are alone cry your eyes out if can sometimes be the best therapy.Hope everything goes fine in April i wish you both all the best.
You have to be strong. if you are a basket case of nerves and anxiety; you'll be of little use to your mom who needs all the emotional support she can get. Remember, it's not about you ; it's about her. Brain surgery is very serious. And it also depend on what it is for. If it was up to me, and that happen to my mom; she seems to be a poor surgical risk ( she nearly lost her life) I wouldn't allow her to go for another brain surgery. Sometimes, the medical industry operate on "it's all about money".
Put more details on what type of brain surgery she's going for in ---additonal details to your question; so I can adequately answer any questions.
In the meantime; pray hard for her. I'll include her in my prayers. Maintain a stoic front. Read up on it. As fear of the unknown is very frightening. Ask a lot of questions from the neurosurgeons and ask point -blank what's the expected outcome of this surgery. I have seen a lot of patients die from brain surgery from brain aneurysms either on the OR table when it ruptures or during spasm on the third day post-op. It'a catch-22 and I don't wish it on my worst enemy. .
It's so difficult seeing our parents in such a vulnerable state. You have done the right thing by seeing your doctor. You need to take care of yourself so that you can continue to be there for your mom.
Ways to help you get through this. Three months ago my dad had open heart surgery. I understand the feeling of seeing a parent lying in their hospital bed. Try to keep a positive attitude. I know that can be hard when you see your mom that way, but it will help. Something I did was search for an online support group that pertained to my dad's condition. The folks there have been through what your mom/you are going through and they can provide answers to most of your questions. They can also provide support and might help eliminate some of your fears.
I have the need to feel that I am doing something useful. We tend to feel helpless when a loved one is ill. I brought some things from my parents' house and put them in my dad's hospital room. A framed photo, a fishing knick knack, a throw/blanket, etc. It helped for my dad to feel touches of home, as the hospital has a way of making you feel un-grounded.
Also, knowledge is power. Learn what you can about your mom's illness. Know what to expect. Often times our imagination is worse than reality.
This is a very difficult time for you and your mom. Just do the best that you can. And, remember to take care of you too.