Please help - advise needed desperately?!
Question: Please help - advise needed desperately!?
11 years ago I lost my dad, he died of a heart attack and I never had the chance to say good-bye, I was 6 when that happened and I can remember everything so clearly - like it happned just last week!.
SInce then I have managed to bottle everything up and carry on with my life, I manage to make people see what they want to and make my feelings seem non-existant!. Since that day 11 years ago I have never cried!.
All my family have told me that I should open up so that I can begin to live my life!. I have never had the mother daughter relationship that I prob should of had so I dont talk to her about it!.
Yet lately I been drawn back to that moment when he died, I have been remembering all that happened and I cant seem to think of anything else!. I dont no why this is but I cant sleep, I cant study when at college, I cant eat!. I cant think of anything else!. I just want him back so much!!!!
I feel numb, lost, angry and im in so much pain!
Anyone with any advice then please help! thanksWww@Answer-Health@Com
SInce then I have managed to bottle everything up and carry on with my life, I manage to make people see what they want to and make my feelings seem non-existant!. Since that day 11 years ago I have never cried!.
All my family have told me that I should open up so that I can begin to live my life!. I have never had the mother daughter relationship that I prob should of had so I dont talk to her about it!.
Yet lately I been drawn back to that moment when he died, I have been remembering all that happened and I cant seem to think of anything else!. I dont no why this is but I cant sleep, I cant study when at college, I cant eat!. I cant think of anything else!. I just want him back so much!!!!
I feel numb, lost, angry and im in so much pain!
Anyone with any advice then please help! thanksWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I understand where you're coming from, I lost my dad nearly 12 years ago to cancer!. I was older than you, I was 18 at the time but the pain you feel is still the same!.
I think what you have gone through is not uncommon and I think the problem is that you haven't grieved for your dad properly!. It sounds to me like the grieving process is beginning now for you and it's bringing about all sorts of emotions that you don't know how to deal with!.
I think your family are right, you do need to open up, whether it be with them, a close friend or a counsellor!. You might find it better to speak to a counsellor because you can really open up and say what you feel without fear of judgement!.
I miss my dad everyday, I'm married and have 2 children and my dad has missed out on all of it, sometimes I feel angry or sometimes I feel sad but I know everything I feel is normal!. Don't be afraid to show the emotions you're going through, I do genuinely believe that you will feel a lot better if you do!. Hope this helps, if you want to know anything else then let me know!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think what you have gone through is not uncommon and I think the problem is that you haven't grieved for your dad properly!. It sounds to me like the grieving process is beginning now for you and it's bringing about all sorts of emotions that you don't know how to deal with!.
I think your family are right, you do need to open up, whether it be with them, a close friend or a counsellor!. You might find it better to speak to a counsellor because you can really open up and say what you feel without fear of judgement!.
I miss my dad everyday, I'm married and have 2 children and my dad has missed out on all of it, sometimes I feel angry or sometimes I feel sad but I know everything I feel is normal!. Don't be afraid to show the emotions you're going through, I do genuinely believe that you will feel a lot better if you do!. Hope this helps, if you want to know anything else then let me know!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It might have taken you this long to be ready to grieve for your Dad ,I lost my Dad when I was eight and also can remember every detail ,down to what I was wearing ,(I am 32 now),and at times I still grieve for the relationship with him that I missed out on ,talking to some one really helps !.I wish you the best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is not easy and there is no easy answer!. It might help if you think about what your Dad would say if he was alive now!. Would he say it is OK to feel the way you do or would he want you to go on and make something of your life!? I am sure he would want you to succeed!. From now on try and make him proud of you in all that you say and do!. He will see and know!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The only advice (and you already know this) is for you to start counseling sessions with a qualified social worker!. Try to find someone who specializes in grief counseling!. This will be THE BEST THING THAT YOU WILL EVER DO FOR YOURSELF!. Please don't wait another moment!. Start living again!. You are destined for a wonderful life, don't miss out! <3Www@Answer-Health@Com
That happend to my friend!.
you need a friend to sit down with you and let you say EVERYTHING!. Or even your mom; just let anything and everything out!. It will help not holding everything in!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you need a friend to sit down with you and let you say EVERYTHING!. Or even your mom; just let anything and everything out!. It will help not holding everything in!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I believe that the past experience has been brought back and placed back into your internal memory!. Doing so is very easy by thinking of past mistakes and strong memories that were experiences many years ago!. I have to admit, I have been through the same with one of my close family members!. The easiest way to handle the situation in my opinion would be seeking out a psychologist or someone very close to talk to to help your memories fade off!. It's hard to say, even for me, but some memories must be let go and lives must continue on!.
Hope this helpedWww@Answer-Health@Com
Hope this helpedWww@Answer-Health@Com
Up till now you've bottled everything up as you said which wasn't a great idea but just remember it's never too late to empty the contents of the bottle!. Just don't wait till you explode!. I suggest you talk to someone about how you feel (someone you trust)!. i think its important if you talk to your mum because she's had to deal with your dad's loss aswel!. share your feelings with each other and the more you talk and possibly cry, the better you will feel!. Talking about something is one of the best ways!. Also, writing a diary is a great way of releasing all this negativity you're feeling!. Trust me, it helps!. :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Everything that happens in our life, happens for a reason!. You need to do a lot of praying and God will begin to reveal things to you and open doors!. Your father's life was taken as a sacrifice!. Now it is up to you to find out what the sacrifice was for!. But if you sit around and lament, and see his death as only death, you will lose out!. There is a silver lining in every cloud, and you've got to endure long enough to find out what it is!. Your blessings will come, but you're going to have to be strong enough to recognize them!. Your father iwill always be with you make him proud! and understand that your mother is hurt as well, and that she's suffering a lot--the lost of man who fathered her child and the lost of a relationship with her daughter!. What ever you do, try to be strong enough to recreate a bond with your mother!. It will be like you both died if you don't!. Life is too short to allow something like this to happen!. You only have one mother,and you won't get another one, at least not in this life time!. Cherish her and yourself!. Get the best our of your relationships and life!. I wish you the best!Www@Answer-Health@Com