Why don't I like it when my husband kisses me?!
Question: Why don't I like it when my husband kisses me!?
I love my husband and have been married for 16 years!. I can honestly say that when he kisses me there aren't any sparks!. I don't get turned on or anything!.
He also says that SEX is the most important thing and I sometimes don't feel like it!.
I do everything: take care of kids, cook, wash clothes, pay bills, grocery shop, etc!. I also have a full-time job too!.
We always fight about sex and I need some advice!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
He also says that SEX is the most important thing and I sometimes don't feel like it!.
I do everything: take care of kids, cook, wash clothes, pay bills, grocery shop, etc!. I also have a full-time job too!.
We always fight about sex and I need some advice!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Sounds like how I feel about sex, but I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I don't have the FT job hanging over me!.
I think it's kind of typical for sex to be more important to the man than to the woman, but for him to think it's the most important thing!.!.!.that sounds like you might benefit from some counseling--not that there's anything wrong with either your perspective or his, but just to have a third-party to help you two sort things out!. I think you definitely need to have a more equal split of the household responsibilities since you both work!. I also agree with the person who said it might benefit you to go away together to reconnect and just be away from the responsibilities for a couple days!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think it's kind of typical for sex to be more important to the man than to the woman, but for him to think it's the most important thing!.!.!.that sounds like you might benefit from some counseling--not that there's anything wrong with either your perspective or his, but just to have a third-party to help you two sort things out!. I think you definitely need to have a more equal split of the household responsibilities since you both work!. I also agree with the person who said it might benefit you to go away together to reconnect and just be away from the responsibilities for a couple days!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Subconsciously you probably resent your husband, you said you do all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shop!.!.ect!. on top of a full time job!. That "spark" is not there because you feel like more of a slave to him then a wife!.!.a partner!.
Sit down and talk to your husband!. Tell him you feel it is unfair that he doesn't take responsibility in helping around the house!. Tell him your not attracted to him right now because of it!. Yes, there may be an argument because frankly it hurts to hear from someone you have been with for 16 years to say they are not attracted to you anymore, but it needs to be put out there!.
If he is not willing to change or go to counseling, divorce maybe your only option!. There is no reason for you to force yourself to stay in a relationship that you are not happy in!. Staying married for the kids is not a good choice, never has been!. They will grow up in an unhealthy environment!. I hope it does not come down to that, but good luck to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sit down and talk to your husband!. Tell him you feel it is unfair that he doesn't take responsibility in helping around the house!. Tell him your not attracted to him right now because of it!. Yes, there may be an argument because frankly it hurts to hear from someone you have been with for 16 years to say they are not attracted to you anymore, but it needs to be put out there!.
If he is not willing to change or go to counseling, divorce maybe your only option!. There is no reason for you to force yourself to stay in a relationship that you are not happy in!. Staying married for the kids is not a good choice, never has been!. They will grow up in an unhealthy environment!. I hope it does not come down to that, but good luck to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well geez, youre worked to the bone- i wouldnt be in the mood either! anyway, most people dont feel like they did when they first met years down the road, so thats normal!. however, if you are repulsed or completely sexually uninterested in your husband, you may just be at the point where you arent attracted to him anymore!. most women get to the point where theyre not "hot" for their husbands anymore (MOST of the time; you should still be sexually attracted to him at least every now and then) , but still love them very much, and can stay married quite happily for years!. i would suggest you explain to him that youre overworked and maybe even make a schedule where you can keep time open for intimacy (a 'sex schedule' so to speak)!. this sounds relatively normal but if you dont feel you are IN love with your husband, the relationship might have played itself out, unfortunately!. good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
Has it always been this way or how long has this been going on!? It might help if you two see a marriage counselor!. YOu might want to try IMAGO therapy!. It's based on a book called The Road Less Traveled!. There really isn't enough info about your relationship and what's going on between you to give advice, except maybe both of you are doing a lot with jobs and other responsibilities that are getting in the way of feeling close, and putting resentments between you!. IMAGO therapy is really good--it took a course years ago and learned a lot about the relationship and also about my husband and myself!.
Here is a website to get more info:
THey also have some weekend retreats that you might want to try!.
Also, there is a book called LIght His Fire
and also a book, Light Her Fire which are both good!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Here is a website to get more info:
THey also have some weekend retreats that you might want to try!.
Also, there is a book called LIght His Fire
and also a book, Light Her Fire which are both good!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You may have lost the thrill of it all!. After so many years I think sex becomes meaningless for whatever the reason!. You wouldn't be the first married couple thats gone through this, nor the last!. Theres not much one can do when having no desire!. Sex is not the most important thing in a marriage, its one of them!. Try setting an romantic evening aside for the both of you and just maybe you can rekindle that fire you once knew!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The fact that you love him is very important!.
For me, and I guess many women, sex means some kissing, and if the kissing isn't good, the sex won't be either!.
If you feel that way, tell your husband that you really would like to try some kissing techniques!. Try it somewhere or sometime when you are alone!. Then just start kissing him in a way that is sexy to you!. Ask if he could do that too!. Then if you like it, say" Oh wow! Can we kiss like that next time we make love!?!?" I bet he will love the idea;)
Sometimes men are not our prince charming automatically, and they have to be coached a little in the romance department!.
I wish you the very best!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
For me, and I guess many women, sex means some kissing, and if the kissing isn't good, the sex won't be either!.
If you feel that way, tell your husband that you really would like to try some kissing techniques!. Try it somewhere or sometime when you are alone!. Then just start kissing him in a way that is sexy to you!. Ask if he could do that too!. Then if you like it, say" Oh wow! Can we kiss like that next time we make love!?!?" I bet he will love the idea;)
Sometimes men are not our prince charming automatically, and they have to be coached a little in the romance department!.
I wish you the very best!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you love him--but sometimes you subconciously feel like he uses you for sex and maybe kissing!. Try doing more things together other than sex and kissing!. Go to parks, movies, all that stuff!. If after a week or so of just being happy with him he still wants to just use you, then I don't know!. He should love you for who you are, not your body!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds like you are just way too stressed!. You guys should try to talk to each other with out yelling and try to figure something out where he helps more, and explain that you dont feel that sex is soo important!. Good luck, I hope everything turns out alright!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Can you talk to him about it without fighting, cause a good cards on the table chat could be a start, -is it possible for you guys to take a break away somewhere together to reconnect!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've been down this road too many times, but nothing has ever changed!. good luck to you!.tell him your gay and it's all his fault,lol!. Maybe that'll get his butt in gear!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe some of the real you is still in there!.
You know, the person you were before your reproductive system took over!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You know, the person you were before your reproductive system took over!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are not alone!. we sound like we share the same life so i will be reading your answers too!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Please take my advice lightly because I am not married!.!.!.
But men and woman are SO extremely different!. For us, our minds are connected to our sex drive!. That includes all of our emotions, worries, responsibilities, etc!. For men, their minds are not connected to their sex drive!. They have 2 separate brains- COMPLETELY separate!. Woman usually only have one!.!.!.lol!.
SO in a marriage i think its important that the man and woman try their best to understand eachother so that each one gets what they want!! Selfish in a way I guess!?!? haha
He wants sex so HE NEEDS to get you to feel less busy, less stressed, ect!. and FEELING good!. If he can understand what would make you FEEL better, you would maybe FEEL like having sex more and actually enjoy his kisses =)
On the other hand, since men have 2 brains, they can't understand that about us woman!. They figure if they can have sex at anytime whenever then why can't we!? You can get in a fight with a man and he'll be ready for sex right afterwards!. Get in a fight with a woman though and I doubt that she'll be ready immediatly afterwards!. We need time to simmer down or do what it is we do to get our MIND right again!. LOL
See for a woman I think, we FEEL loved by what a man does for us, says to us, how they listen, by the attention and affection type gestures!. But a man feels loved by the sex and touching and licking and all that!. haha (i hope i don't get reported =)) We are so different!
Hope i made some sort of sense lol =)
If he would do that for you, and you could do that for him- that would create all the desire you need in a marriage!. But we all know that's not cake work!. That's why I think I'm single still!. I don't want to teach a man yet!. LOL
Just thought of this: If we are mad, our kitty is mad!. If we are sad or stressed so is our kitty!. COMPLETE opposite for a man! If a man is mad, that don't determine the state of his doggie!. If a man is sad or stressed, his little doggie will still be ready and willing- because the two are not connected!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
But men and woman are SO extremely different!. For us, our minds are connected to our sex drive!. That includes all of our emotions, worries, responsibilities, etc!. For men, their minds are not connected to their sex drive!. They have 2 separate brains- COMPLETELY separate!. Woman usually only have one!.!.!.lol!.
SO in a marriage i think its important that the man and woman try their best to understand eachother so that each one gets what they want!! Selfish in a way I guess!?!? haha
He wants sex so HE NEEDS to get you to feel less busy, less stressed, ect!. and FEELING good!. If he can understand what would make you FEEL better, you would maybe FEEL like having sex more and actually enjoy his kisses =)
On the other hand, since men have 2 brains, they can't understand that about us woman!. They figure if they can have sex at anytime whenever then why can't we!? You can get in a fight with a man and he'll be ready for sex right afterwards!. Get in a fight with a woman though and I doubt that she'll be ready immediatly afterwards!. We need time to simmer down or do what it is we do to get our MIND right again!. LOL
See for a woman I think, we FEEL loved by what a man does for us, says to us, how they listen, by the attention and affection type gestures!. But a man feels loved by the sex and touching and licking and all that!. haha (i hope i don't get reported =)) We are so different!
Hope i made some sort of sense lol =)
If he would do that for you, and you could do that for him- that would create all the desire you need in a marriage!. But we all know that's not cake work!. That's why I think I'm single still!. I don't want to teach a man yet!. LOL
Just thought of this: If we are mad, our kitty is mad!. If we are sad or stressed so is our kitty!. COMPLETE opposite for a man! If a man is mad, that don't determine the state of his doggie!. If a man is sad or stressed, his little doggie will still be ready and willing- because the two are not connected!.Www@Answer-Health@Com