Why do I not feel any pleasure during sex?!
Question: Why do I not feel any pleasure during sex!?
I am 17yrs old!.!.!.yes I know its young!.!.!.but i lost my virginity last year to my boyfriend of four years and for some reason or another, i have never felt any pleasure in it at all!. During sex I happen to think about everything else but what is going on and even when i'm completely focused, it does nothing for me!. Please help!.!.!.because I've been faking orgasms for a little over a year and its getting old!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I stole this from some website, it's pretty much your answer for everything:
My guess would be that rather than missing "extras," you're missing basics!.
If any genital contact feels blah to you, or just like someone was patting you on the back, my first suggestion would be to make sure that when any kind of sex happens -- even masturbation -- you're really feeling aroused before it starts!.
If your motivation for partnered sex or masturbation is ONLY to try and make orgasm happen, or do to something you feel like you should be doing, or should feel good, rather than arising out of a very profound HUNGER -- a strong desire and nascent want -- for sexual activity then it's not that surprising that nothing feels that good, because that arousal is key to any kind of sex feeling really good, including masturbation!.
So, check in with yourself!. Are you really feeling that desire!? Can you even identify what that is, maybe remembering a few times when it was exceptionally strong!? If you can, then know that only the times when you're feeling like that are really the right times to pursue partnered sex or masturbation!.
Make sure, too, that you're strongly sexually -- not just aesthetically, not just emotionally -- attracted to your partner!. Sometimes, we feel big romantic love, deep care, and even a strong pull to be with someone else but it isn't really a sexual attraction, even if it seems like we SHOULD feel a sexual attraction, or we really want to!. Chemistry is a funny, unpredictable thing, and we can deeply love a lot of people, maybe even think they're physically attractive, but still not really have a big sexual chemistry between us!. As well, if the vibe and dynamic in your relationship overwhelmingly feels like sex really is all about him, that may be something to look at more deeply!. In all the "extra" things you're trying, for instance, are they really about exploring what is exciting for you, or are they about exploring what would get you aroused enough to make you want to provide more pleasure/sex for him!?
I'd also check in with your basic physical and mental health!. If you're really stressed out, depressed or feeling pressured (even if that pressure is just coming from you), that's going to impact your libido!.
Secondarily, I'd suggest you get in the habit of cutting sex -- solo or partnerd -- off when you've been having it for a little while and it's clearly not working for you!. Going at it for hours when it's not even great for a few minutes isn't helpful: it's likely to only result in you considering sex as a bigger and bigger drag: understandably! But if you start to make that association, it's also going to be harder and harder to feel at all excited at the prospect of sex!. There are a LOT of ways to be intimate, emotionally and even sexually!. For instance, why not switch to mutual masturbation when your partner is interested in sex and you're not there!? If you aren't there at all for yourself, he can even masturbate himself with you talking, watching or cheering him on -- and that's something that's pretty arousing for a lot of people, too!. On the other hand if sex between you has really started to feel like it's all about him, if that's not an exciting idea for you, then nix that, too!. or, maybe genital sex period just isn't your thing, and you're someone for whom whole-body contact, verbal sex, or some other form of sexuality is more exciting: human sexuality is SO vast and varies SO much!. Bear in mind that what is sexy or sexual for you may not be what you think it should be, or may not be indentical to how sex is often presented by others!.
Ultimately, you may just want to consider having a different sort of relationship for a while, just to see if a sexual relationship really IS the right one for the two of you: it may well be that you're just better as friends, and that the pressure to be something else is killing your libido, even when you're alone!.
I know none of that is the best news ever!. But it may just also be that you're not at this part of your life yet, too!. Everyone has different timetables, and for some folks, strong interest in sex happens later, rather than earlier!. My concern would just be that you're not trying to force something so much that even if you are a later-bloomer in this respect, by the time you get there, you're so sick of trying to make something happen that isn't going to, that sexuality is just a big bummer for you, full-stop!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My guess would be that rather than missing "extras," you're missing basics!.
If any genital contact feels blah to you, or just like someone was patting you on the back, my first suggestion would be to make sure that when any kind of sex happens -- even masturbation -- you're really feeling aroused before it starts!.
If your motivation for partnered sex or masturbation is ONLY to try and make orgasm happen, or do to something you feel like you should be doing, or should feel good, rather than arising out of a very profound HUNGER -- a strong desire and nascent want -- for sexual activity then it's not that surprising that nothing feels that good, because that arousal is key to any kind of sex feeling really good, including masturbation!.
So, check in with yourself!. Are you really feeling that desire!? Can you even identify what that is, maybe remembering a few times when it was exceptionally strong!? If you can, then know that only the times when you're feeling like that are really the right times to pursue partnered sex or masturbation!.
Make sure, too, that you're strongly sexually -- not just aesthetically, not just emotionally -- attracted to your partner!. Sometimes, we feel big romantic love, deep care, and even a strong pull to be with someone else but it isn't really a sexual attraction, even if it seems like we SHOULD feel a sexual attraction, or we really want to!. Chemistry is a funny, unpredictable thing, and we can deeply love a lot of people, maybe even think they're physically attractive, but still not really have a big sexual chemistry between us!. As well, if the vibe and dynamic in your relationship overwhelmingly feels like sex really is all about him, that may be something to look at more deeply!. In all the "extra" things you're trying, for instance, are they really about exploring what is exciting for you, or are they about exploring what would get you aroused enough to make you want to provide more pleasure/sex for him!?
I'd also check in with your basic physical and mental health!. If you're really stressed out, depressed or feeling pressured (even if that pressure is just coming from you), that's going to impact your libido!.
Secondarily, I'd suggest you get in the habit of cutting sex -- solo or partnerd -- off when you've been having it for a little while and it's clearly not working for you!. Going at it for hours when it's not even great for a few minutes isn't helpful: it's likely to only result in you considering sex as a bigger and bigger drag: understandably! But if you start to make that association, it's also going to be harder and harder to feel at all excited at the prospect of sex!. There are a LOT of ways to be intimate, emotionally and even sexually!. For instance, why not switch to mutual masturbation when your partner is interested in sex and you're not there!? If you aren't there at all for yourself, he can even masturbate himself with you talking, watching or cheering him on -- and that's something that's pretty arousing for a lot of people, too!. On the other hand if sex between you has really started to feel like it's all about him, if that's not an exciting idea for you, then nix that, too!. or, maybe genital sex period just isn't your thing, and you're someone for whom whole-body contact, verbal sex, or some other form of sexuality is more exciting: human sexuality is SO vast and varies SO much!. Bear in mind that what is sexy or sexual for you may not be what you think it should be, or may not be indentical to how sex is often presented by others!.
Ultimately, you may just want to consider having a different sort of relationship for a while, just to see if a sexual relationship really IS the right one for the two of you: it may well be that you're just better as friends, and that the pressure to be something else is killing your libido, even when you're alone!.
I know none of that is the best news ever!. But it may just also be that you're not at this part of your life yet, too!. Everyone has different timetables, and for some folks, strong interest in sex happens later, rather than earlier!. My concern would just be that you're not trying to force something so much that even if you are a later-bloomer in this respect, by the time you get there, you're so sick of trying to make something happen that isn't going to, that sexuality is just a big bummer for you, full-stop!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think you need to talk to your boyfriend about it!. its doing nothing for the relationship if you keep faking it, you're just going to build up resentment towards him!. i dont know why you find no pleasure in it at all though, maybe its just nerves!? or perhaps you're trying so hard to feel something that you forget just to enjoy the experience!. try to relax, not think about anything else, but also not focus on it so hard!. it should be something you just enjoy, not try so hard to enjoy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you obviously aren't in the mood or your nervous (not like shaking nervous, but skeptical anyways) which makes it very hard to enjoy it!.!.!. relax, read some cosmo for better advice, and make sure you mess around a lot before you startWww@Answer-Health@Com
you have to be really close to that person usually!. very emotionally connected!. he has to know you and you have to know him!. PERFECTLY!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Teenagers are bad lovemakers!. You probably have not found the right guy for you!. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try new things!. Look online, try foreplay, etc!. It may enhance your sexual experience!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR SEX! PERIOD!!Www@Answer-Health@Com