How do I help my husband?!


Question: How do I help my husband!?
He was happy with his church family and even joined the church band tentatively with every intention of quitting his smoking habit eventually!.Then the pastor took him aside and told him he can't join the band if he smokes!. He agrees that the pastor made the right call!. Now he smokes twice as much and finds a reason not to go to church even though he intends to!. He doesn't really like me giving him advice!. What would you do!? I know he'll be better off when he quits in more ways than one!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
I used to be a smoker for 36 years!. those who do not smoke can not even understand the concept of quiting!. It is a very hard thing to do, much like a drug addiction!. Those whom say that it is a sin to smoke because it is harmful to the body are correct, but is it anymore sinful then eating fat in your diet or many of the other things such as the sugar items, donuts, cake, candy bars and so on!. Anyhow, I thing the Pastor is right but also wrong!. To not allow a person in the church band for smoking is not helping a person to quit, as evidenced by the reaction!. The Pastor would have been better off letting him in the church band with the premise that he would work on quitting!. This would have been a very good incentive to push him into quitting!. A person that is a smoker will only quit when he/she is ready and it has to be on thier own terms!. It takes a lot of will power to quit and that person must be able to do it themself!.

So how do you help!? Support him as much as possible and don't nag on him!.!. A neat way of helping is to get some of the no smoking pamplets and lay them around the house!. Get magazine information and any other information on quiting and effects!. Such effects as the effect of smoking on the sex drive, or the effects of smoking on the ability to breath and so on!. This information placed around the house so that he can see it will help and it will be done in such a way as that it doesn't come in a "nagging way" !. This will give him the ideal to quit on his own!. It may or may not work, but he does need to do it on his own and the harder someone pushes the more he will smoke!.

Good Luck,

Smoke free for two years now!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

For those who said the pastor has no right, they're ignorant!. The pastor was well within his bounds to make the ultimatum!. Smoking is a sin; any true Christian believes this!. The body is the temple of God and as such Christians are not to intentionally harm their bodies!. Smoking is knowingly harming God's temple and is therefore a sin!. If he has no respect for God's temple, he should not be allowed to be in the band, a position that is typically regarded as for those who live Godly lifestyles and are good Christian role models!.

Now, obviously you can't force him to quit, but certainly I would encourage you to seek out a cease-smoking program for him!. Many health insurance companies are now covering 100% for smoking cessation therapy!. If he decides to quit, constantly show your support, especially when he gets cranky (it'll happen for anyone who's quitting; at that time they need support the most)!.

God bless!Www@Answer-Health@Com

I don't understand why he would be kicked out of the band if he smokes unless he sits there puffing away while playing!. The idea of him being in the band is because he loves to play Gods music and share it with other!. The pastor had no right to kick him out for that!. "Come as you are" is what should be said in all churches!. If he was given the talent to play he should be allowed to and as he comes closer to God he will have the strength to stop!. Your pastor was wrong and pushed him away when he had no right to!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

i agree with larry 100% no one can make him quit ultimatums dont work and his church pastor excluding him because of an addiciton is unfair and over the line!.!.!.!.!.but to help him you can contact the american cancer society they send out some really helpful literature about quitting smoking!.!.!.stuff that makes sense and makes you think and helps you along!.!.!.!.so get that for him and encourage but dont pressure or else he may start smoking triple time since no one really likes to be pushed aroundWww@Answer-Health@Com

I was a smoker for years!. You have to take it upon yourself to want to quit!. No one can force you!. Your pastor had no right to not let him join the band!. He was way out of bounds!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

tell him!.!.!.no sex till you quit!.!.!.might sound kinky!.!.!.but helped for my rents!. All though be careful to overplay the card!.!.!.as in make sure he's completey faithful to you!.!.!. yeah

Good luck!.!.!.

:)Www@Answer-Health@Com

just pray for him and offer support
you can send for info on how to quit smoking god blessWww@Answer-Health@Com

Pray for him!.

I'm sure I'll get thumbs down for this, but I think your pastor made the right call!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I think it is time to find a different church, to be honest!. Your husband may be rebelling against the fact he was asked to quit the band unless he stopped smoking!. This may just be the way your church is, and that is fine, but I think it went a bit too far!. For one, the pastor could have asked your husband to be discreet about his smoking habit (not smoking in front of the church where people can see him, for example since it sends the wrong messege to young people)!.

Yes, smoking, drinking (even a little alcohol) and overeating maybe considered "sinful", but it's not something worth going nuts over!. Noone is perfect, and smoking is legal and can be just as bad for your body as working in a chemical plant or living in a polluted city!. I for one, would be furious if I was not allowed to teach children in church because I have a weight problem!. I would feel rejected and very hurt and probably go out and want to eat a half dozen doughnuts every Sunday instead of going to church! It is hurtful and things like that cannot be overcome by our own willpower, but by God's help!

My husband was a smoker, he became a Christian and was still a smoker!. Some of my family members treated him badly because he smoked, but that didn't stop him, he tried to respect them and not smoke around them, but he still smoked!.!. He played guitar for the church every Sunday and eventually gave up smoking on his own!. He is now a pastor and has been smoke free for at least 6 years (I barely remember him smoking anymore)!. God helped him overcome his addiction and it really wasn't that hard with God's help! So I would say, help your husband by finding a church where they are not going to patronize him over his smoking and will lead him to the Lord, not make rules for him to follow!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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