Problem with trying to be as I want to be.?!


Question: Problem with trying to be as I want to be!.!?
First of all, I would love to get answers only from those that are good in psychology!. Thanks ahead!.

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Recently, I'm trying to be a kind and gentle person (without any expectations from anyone), but I guess it becomes really difficult sometimes!. I want you, to help me with the problem I faced yesterday:

I'm living in Turkey and people mostly buy pirated products here (like CDs, book, etc!.), but I believe that using anything pirated is unethical (at least because they have worked SO hard to manufacture what we use)!. Yesterday one of my friends asked me to let them copy classical music from my original CD!. And!.!.!.

That is the reason of this post!. I have talked about this and that trying to make him understand that it's NOT right to steal(!!!) someone's "hard work", was about to beg him not to ask for it and offered to give him another CD of mine as a gift!. At last he told, that I could just say that "Don't want to give it"!.

Of course, that wore me out, but what I'm really sad about is that I always feel that I need to defend and prove right every idea of mine (and as far as I understand, people expect it from me as well)!.!.!. Perhaps, just telling "I think that it's NOT right and that's all!. Leave me alone!." would be a better approach in such cases, but I guess rudeness can solve nothing!. So, what would you recommend me to do!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
naah, it's an issue i am also struggling with!. I have since tried to be more 'assertive' -- ability to state my opinion and basically stop pleasing others!.

try googling them, there's a lot of (legal, non-pirated :p) articles about how to become more assertive!.

this means that saying "I think that it's NOT right and that's all!. Leave me alone" is NOT rude, just being assertive!. People will have to take it or leave it!. You feel much stronger, opinionated and confident as a result!.

"I always feel that I need to defend and prove right every idea of mine (and as far as I understand, people expect it from me as well"

Haha, i think we have the same issue!. recently i discovered that 99% of the thoughts like "i think people expect me to do this, or say this, or be like this and that" are WRONG!. It's all in my head!.

And guess what's in other people's heads!? THEMSELVES!. nobody is thinking about you!.

The problem perhaps also lies in eastern culture, where it's considered taboo to 'speak up'!. but hey man, you will learn as you live that it's much better off to start thinking more about yourself than thinking about what others might think about you!. Switching the spotlight, from them to YOU!.

Repeat this: "What you think of me is none of my business"!.

Long rambling, lolWww@Answer-Health@Com

Do what you're doing!. Be honest, and be straightforward!.
You don't need to defend your ideas unless someone questions you though!. You can state your opinion on whatever-it-is and leave it at that!. If someone wants to argue the point with you THEN explain yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

tell him, "You are my buddy, it has nothing to do with me not want to let you hold it!.!.!.i just know you are gonna burn it and I'm totally against piracy!." Nothing more you can really sayWww@Answer-Health@Com

just, say you can't be bothered or don't want too, they will eventually lay off you!. Besides there are many other people like you so don't get thinking your the only one !!!! TRUST ME !!! I HAVE THESE EXPERIENCES!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

Well once a cop catches you friend once he wont be asking again!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You are strong in your beliefs and i respect that!.
The thing is other people have different points of view and its not always that easy to see how they do!.
To them buying pirated CDs in preference of importance is:
1) cheap
2) illegal

where you would be the other way around!. I say if you want to get your point across do it, but don't always expect people to convert after everything you say!.

Hope this helps :)

PS: On a side note - if he's copying your already-paid-for CD for HOME USE only, then its legal!. If he copies it then sells it or mass distribute it then its illegal!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

well if they take your stuff STOP BEING THERE FRIENDS RIGHT AWAY before you have nothing and always getting pushed around and just say i cant my mom wont let me for a way to say no its not lying and its like if someone asked you to do drugs say that not that no thanks they will bug you then so say mom said no and it is your stuff and you are right my friends copy c!.d!.s and movies and more but i don't sat anything i will now so still be nice Www@Answer-Health@Com

You obviously are living quite the noble life, I respect that but regardless of how noble and how ethical and good you are you cannot force that onto people who want nothing to do with it!.

And besides pirates are pretty cool aren't they, seeing as they can get through vast amounts of security to bring us top line products at ridiculously low prices!.!.!.

But really if thats how your friend(s) want to be then you can just warn them that they can be arrested for being in possession of pirated materials just remind them of that, theres really nothing you can do unless you want to smack some sense into them!.

Yourself on the other hand, you should keep up the lifestyle you enjoy tell your friends if they have a problem with it to go away, you have no reason to ever have to defend yourself or your convictions as YOU make your own decisions and determine what YOU wan!.!.!. YOU!Www@Answer-Health@Com





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