How to deal with finding out your husband is addicted to cocaine? ?!
Question: How to deal with finding out your husband is addicted to cocaine!? !?
feel as though my heart is being smashed into little pieces!.!.!. i feel as if i need to vomit all the time!.!.!. My husband who is the love of my life,my family,my best friend and lover!.!.!. we have a wonderful marriage apart from the problem he has had hidden for two years!.!.!. he is addicted to cocaine (he injects mostly)!.!.!. i found some hidden needles and a gram of cocaine by accident two months ago!.(one of the sadess days of my life)!.!. my heart was broken that day!.!.!. he is going though the motions to enter rehab,it will take another three weeks before he enters!.!.he is still using every day and lies to me every day!.!.!. every time i find a stash i throw it away but he just go's and buys more!.!.(he says he is going to work but go's and buys cocaine and works high or sometimes he dosen't go to work at all)!. it's a hard time for me with other problems that i have where i really need my husband (i'm having an op in two days and i'm a reck),not only is he not there for me!.!.i have to be strong for him but i'm dying inside!.!.!. i feel betrayed!.!.!.!.
p!.s i know there isn't really an answer to my problem apart from wait until he go's though rehab!.!.!.!. but what if after he comes out he uses again but next time there mite be children involved as we were planing on starting a family before i discovered his problem!.!.!. i don't know how to clear my mind just for a second without thinking about him using!.!.!. the washing machine i have in my stomach and the constet stress, headache have been non stop since that horrible day (two months ago) any advice!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I know what it feels like to have a person so close to you addicted to drugs!. When you find out your whole world is shattered!. You go through all kinds of scenarios: did I do something to cause this, why do they lie so much, what is going on to cause something like this to happen to me!. Understand this if nothing else: they lie, cheat and steal to feed their addiction not to hurt you!. It's the illness that is causing this!. One word of advice, hide your medication from your upcoming surgery, they will see it as an easy way to get drugs!. I have a lock box with a hidden key for my medications!. The important thing is that he will be going to rehab shortly, during that time you need to get counseling for yourself to help deal with all of your emotions!. Work with him to help him heal and let him know how it effects you and your marriage!. BE HONEST WITH HIM WITH EVERYTHING YOU ARE FEELING while he is in rehab!. The truth is he will always crave it but hopefully the rehab will get him cleaned up and he can fight the cravings!. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you and your husbandWww@Answer-Health@Com
Addicts are weak pathetic people!. They deserve neither you love or respect!. Leave take the children if there are any, never speak with him again!. He is addicted because he is a weak, miserable person, not because of any "disease"!. You should mourn his loss as if his is dead and then move on and never look back!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would suggest you leave immediately!. Drug abusers have to want to help themselves, otherwise they will keep abusing drugs!. There is no easy fix, think of yourself and be strong and get out while you can!.
? ? Inez/Inescia ? ?Www@Answer-Health@Com
? ? Inez/Inescia ? ?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Seriously, it took you two years to realize your husband is a junkie!? didn't you see all the tract marks in his arm!? Or that he acted like a total asshole!? (all cokeheads are assholes) I think you guys have more problems than you can handle!. Oh well!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Support him get through his rehab and in the meanwhile get financially independent!. It is NOT your fault, do not blame yourself and get a job so that you do not have to depend on him for finances!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yeah I do understand were you are going from!.!.!.!.!.I had a friend to was the same way!. but I could not save her because she was so far gone to were we couldn't do anything for her, sometimes it takes the person to hit rock bottom!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
TOUGH LOVE, YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM NO MATTER HOW BAD IT HURTS!.!.!.!. I KNOW THAT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER AND BE STRONG FOR HIS SAFE RECOVERY IF HE EVEN RECOVERS, COULD TAKE YEARSWww@Answer-Health@Com
Never mind Joey's answer, you should definitely seek couple's therapy after he goes through rehab!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
damn how'd he hide it for 2 years undetected!? that's weird!.!. good luck rehab should help but he's gotta want to quit can't force him it wont work!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
wow talk to a therepist about it get him into a rehab clinic and you know if it really gets bad tell him its either you or the cokeWww@Answer-Health@Com
wow, take some time out of your life to reflect and think about if you still want to be with him and go from there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Judge not!. You aren't perfect!. Let it be!.
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i found out a few months ago that my mum was doing cocaine!. when she told me, i was sick and couldn't speak to her for 2 weeks!. when i finally managed to speak to her i still felt betrayed!. but glad she told me!. i had counciling to help me get over the shock and terror of it!. she went to rehab and now she hasn't done it again (to my knowledge) i still don't totally trust her because she told me she could tell me anything!. but maybe after he gets out of rehab you and your husband could get counciling and then start a family :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Everyone deserves a second chance so be there for him when he goes to rehab and when he comes back if he start again sadly you are going to have to decide between you or him!. It doesn't matter if you have a kid !.!.!.ps!. you need to put a stop in the TTC until you are sure that he is ok but if is to late now don't let that be the reason for you to stay with him because a child doesn't deserve that life!. This are difficult time ahead and you need to keep your mind and body strong and prepare yourself for the worse!. I'm not saying that he is going to do it again but you need to prepare anyways because if it happens you need to be clear in what you want in your life!. I know it sounds bad but he needs to want to get better for him if not he will do it again!. And if what you want is a family you are not going to e able to make it with a drug addict!.
**Don't think that by you getting pregnant he will change for the baby because like I said before!.!.!. He needs to want to get better for him not for others because, yes it will work but only temporarily!.
GOOD LUCKWww@Answer-Health@Com
**Don't think that by you getting pregnant he will change for the baby because like I said before!.!.!. He needs to want to get better for him not for others because, yes it will work but only temporarily!.
GOOD LUCKWww@Answer-Health@Com
I used to be addicted to cocaine! and My best friend really liked me but he told me i will leave you and never talk to you again if you don't get help and quit! So My advice for you hun is just to tell him im going to leave you if you dont get help! yes it will be hard at first but if the guy really loves you he would stop doing cocaine to be with you! i hope this helped! -kat-Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you love him and it's worth it - do what you can to help the one you love!. He is the only one who can help himself!. Go to counseling or Rehab!. If you are as important to him as he is to you, he'll want help eventually!.!.!.maybe not right away because addiction's are a tricky illness!. All you can do is let him know you are there for him!.
Don't feel betrayed-I know it's nearly impossible-it's an illness that is hard to recover from-it;s tricky, messy, and very sad!. Once he's clean, he'll realize how much more he has going for him and that you!. On the other hand, some lessons are better learned the hard way-if he loses everything is he strong enough to realize it and slap himself in the face or will he sink into an even deeper state!.!.!.!.!.!.!? This is a personal decision nobody can make for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't feel betrayed-I know it's nearly impossible-it's an illness that is hard to recover from-it;s tricky, messy, and very sad!. Once he's clean, he'll realize how much more he has going for him and that you!. On the other hand, some lessons are better learned the hard way-if he loses everything is he strong enough to realize it and slap himself in the face or will he sink into an even deeper state!.!.!.!.!.!.!? This is a personal decision nobody can make for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Know what, that's really sad!. You can pray for him and encourage him!. Wait till he goes through rehab!. Come clean with him!. Tell him you are very hurt and you are dying inside!. Tell him that you love him and want to help him!. If he goes through rehab and still does drugs, tell him you can't live that way!. Tell him that if he doesn't stop you can't have kids with him and you might leave!. If he does withdraw from the drugs, there will be pretty strong symptoms like: vomiting, nausea, tiredness, aches and pains, headaches, and most of all strong urges to go back!. When he goes through this encourage him!. Tell him that at the end of the road it will be all better!. Tell him you will stand by his side and never leave him!. (Unless he doesn't stop) A situation like this can turn bad pretty quick!. Know that you know he might show aggression and violence!. I hope it doesn't go that far!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
I really hope this helped!. I wish the best for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I really hope this helped!. I wish the best for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
There are lots of support and help groups for people in addictive relationship situations like yours!. The most important thing to remember is that YOU are most important!. If you are putting up with lies and such because you want to keep the marriage you are enabling him to use!. You may need to take yourself out of the marriage until he can prove that he's clean!. Shooting cocaine is a BIG DEAL! It's not like he's puffing a little weed!. That's a very very serious addiction!. He will need professional help and he will need a group like narcotics anonymous when he gets out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
if you can't beat em, join emWww@Answer-Health@Com