Will i ever get over having anorexia?!


Question: Will i ever get over having anorexia?
I'm 17 and was diagnosed years and years ago. I've been this way for more than half my life. even though all my circumstances have changed my attitude never has. i can't bare going back to therapy because it was completely useless, i'm just not the kind of person to benefit from it as i'm too independent and cynical about that sort of thing. it wasn't until i protested my way out of therapy that i started gaining weight. it doesn't matter what direction i take not eating is always at the end of it. if i'm miserable i don't eat to distract myself but if i'm happy i feel powerful and i don't eat so as not to ruin my happiness so i have no situation where eating will be acceptable or justifiable in my opinion. i was last hospitalized about 4 months ago and when i left i gained enough to be just about acceptable to my doctors although they weren't happy about my attitude towards it. I'm now at least a stone lighter than i was then and noticing reductions in my weight daily. i'm underweight but that just makes me more enthusiastic and even more afraid of food. i'm back to being disgusted by it and hating to even be associated with eating. my biggest fear is of losing my boyfriend because when i have been ill in the past i have always lost everyone many of whom i have never regained and although i'm fairly convinced he would be nothing but supportive i'm still scared because i have a history of being ill and alone and don't believe i have the luck to make this different. furthermore i couldn't bare to put him through it. i don't believe anyone can have both.
am i going to be stuck like this forever?

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Wow. I suffered through anorexia and it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Truly the darkest period of my life.

I wish I knew exactly how I put it to rest. I think it was a combination of one on one therapy (though, like you, I thought it was useless at the time), group sessions with other females in the throes of eating disorders, going to nursing school and learning in depth about the body and disease, moving out of my childhood home (which I believe the dysfunction there was a huge cause of it), etc.

It is possible to put it behind you, but it's hard and it takes time.

Hope things get better for you.



Anorexia is a very scary mental illness. I have off and on eating disorders. To maybe help with this, try to map out exactly what you ate and add in a little but of food each day so to not cause a rapid gain in weight. Having weight isn't bad, but often good :)




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