How to get my parents to understand my drug/alcohol problem?!

Question: How to get my parents to understand my drug/alcohol problem?

Well, I have been using/abusing drugs and alcohol such as morphine and painkillers and I've been smoking weed (I don't find weed too much of a big deal...) for a while now, and recently my parents found out. They only know details about the weed, they do know I've tried pills, etc but I haven't told them exactly about all that. I'm afraid to tell them about everything, I used to be really desperate to get high and would try that cough syrup shnit and drink a lot and pop a lot of pills. I can't go back to school anymore because I got in trouble there, so I'm now going to be home all day every day for homeschooling for the next 4-6 months. I realize that during this time I am going to have to talk to my parents more, and they expect me to be more honest with them now about things and I really am trying to talk, but I honestly disagree with their ways of handeling things. I understand that I am a minor, and have to listen to what they say but at the rate that they are taking things, nothing is going to change. They think that isolating me, and cutting off all contact with my friends will help, and they think that I don't care, or understand the importance of this situation because I prefer not to talk too much about it. I am trying to get them to understand that I am still trying to process things myself, and it is some times better to let me be to think, but they are so suffocating and I don't even have a door on my room anymore! I'm not saying that I shouldn't get punished, I'm trying really hard to work with them, but their method of working with ME is just sitting me down and yelling. I can't get through to them, or make them listen. I don't feel comfortable enough to talk to them about some other addictions (coke and heroin) but at this point all I can think about is how to obtain it, getting high, etc. They really only know about the weed, and by the way they acted about that, I don't think it's a good idea to tell them about the other things, they acted like I killed something, or it's the worst thing in the world. All they keep saying is how I let my family down, etc. How can I get through to them that seperating me from everyone else, and yelling won't work? They want me to talk with them and be more open, but whenever I do they don't listen or they stop me from talking. What should I say to get through to them? Thanks for anyone who read all this XD

Answers:

I think you need some professional help here. Its not a failing to screw up in life, but your parents will be reacting at the moment in anger because they will be feeling that they have failed YOU. In their eyes, they have brought you up and cannot believe that you have managed to get yourself into trouble, so they have failed in keeping you out of harms way. We react physically to a feeling of failure and guilt, our heart rate quickens, adrenaline surges, our muscles tighten and get ready for a fight, often the only way to release that is to shout, and unfortunately the object of their feeling of guilt is you. In shouting at you they are kicking themselves, they won't be able to understand right now whatever you say.

You need to find someone, I am assuming as you have been suspended from school (is this the case?) that you are in contact with social services, perhaps even a counselling service? If not, find one, your own doctors surgery can help, they will be perfectly prepared to speak to you in private, you do not have to have your parents present, you can insist on that. Be honest, tell them your fears, perhaps print this question out for yourself, sometimes its easier to write down your feelings rather than try to verbalise them, ask for someone to mediate between yourself and your parents, perhaps even see if you can get some help away from your parents for a while, there are many drug and alcohol rehabilitation schemes, and for youngsters much younger than yourself, that way you could get to deal with your problems without having to deal with the rest of lifes problems, such as communicating with your family, facing your friends etc, then you will be stronger to face them.

At the end of the day, we can only get angry with the people we love and care about, your parents obviously love you, but they don't know what to do, you need to take the lead, you need to find a way of communicating, it isn't going to happen so easily without some outside help, so go get it, face up to your actions, there are going to be consequences, but, eventually, you will be facing them WITH your parents, not without them, and that is why you are going to be OK, because you care about your parents (else you wouldn't have posted this) and they care about you.

If you need to chat, feel free to contact me through here, good luck and stay strong..

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How to get my parents to understand my drug/alcohol problem?!

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