I don't know who i am anymore?!

first of all i want to say that although i dont know you personally or anything, i feel for you. im sorry that you are dealing with this. i believe all of us go through a period of questioning everything in our lives. i have been through something similiar but what i did to get through it is fairly simple. you have to realize that your future is important, think about where you want your life to go. your family wants you to go to college so that you dont have to struggle when you get older and so you can be happy. college gets tough and yeah sometimes the things we learn seem pointless but it is a known fact that having a college degree will improve your life. so definitely finish college and furthermore i encourage you to find something that interests you. for me, i love psychology and understanding why people behave the way they do. so because i have a personal interest, it is easier for me to stay engaged.
as far as the situation with the tutor, i think you should just let things happen on their own. relationships are not as big of a deal as society makes them out to be these days. don't do anythig to jeapordize the friendship that is there, if you two are meant to be together then it will happen and dont worry what anyone else thinks about it because your happiness is what matters. you just have to understand that what you label as happiness today is not happiness in the long run!
also, it is okay to isolate yourself sometimes. i do that myself. i love hanging out with my friends and family but then i also need time to myself to just regather my thoughts and kind of center myself. our lives get so busy and sometimes we think oh wow i must be getting depressed when the only thing thats happening is we are in some serious need of time with ourself. it is healthy to spend time with yourself. however you should go see a doctor to find out if you are actually clinically depressed because well i dont personally know you.
the important thing im trying to say here is that this feeling is something many, many people have gone through so don't be too hard on yourself. just keep moving forward, get your education and then make enough money to live the exciting life that you are dreaming of! yeah that sounds corny but it is true! if you ever need to talk i am here! hope this helped!

I know the way you feel. Don't worry, everything is gonna be alright.
You see, I always tried to impress people, so they'd get to like me. So they'd appreciate me, or even admire me.
But as I grew older I realized that this means nothing. And then I stopped caring, wanting opinions, or seeking attention.
They used to know me as the hyper, happy girl. Now, that after some time they've talked to me again, they're like " Woah what happened man, you changed alot " But no, I didn't change. I just stopped hiding behind the tears of a clown. I stopped pretending that I was someone else. I am who I am, they can take it, or leave it.

About the lack of motivation.. Don't worry. I've had that too.
There were times, and STILL are, in which I feel there's nothing to live for. And I keep thinking about it so much that I almost break down and cry.
Then I remember that I live for my career. Which is still dissapointing. Like, ohaii, I'm living for money.
But it gives me that feeling of achievement when I reach one of my school goals.. and that's all I've needed throughtout all these years.
I guess that apart from the fact that I live for my studies, I also live for my parents.
So I'd grow up, get money and help them out.

And I know how it's like to not be understood by people. I sometimes think how can they live in all that superficial.. But I've been rewarded with this awesome best friend who thinks the same like me, who's the same like me yet totally different. Unfortunately she's miles away from me. But I don't mind. Friendship is measured by the heart, and miles don't mean a thing.
I honestly hope you'll find happines. Just remember, God gave us shoes that fit us. If we are sent strong paths, we are provided strong shoes. Now straighten up soldier, and stay strong.
You're not alone.

Good luck. c:

Myself.

Hmmm. I think you are depressed. That's exactly what it sounds like. If you have the money, I think you should take a vacation. It will get you away from your surroundings. Just go and have a good time. It might seem like it would be more fun to take a friend, but I wouldn't. Go by yourself and meet new people. If you don't have the money, then go out in town to places you've not been to or haven't been to in a while. If you live in an extremely small town like me, and you can't afford the vacation, then just explore new things whether it be googling up stuff on the Internet or going to a museum. Find out what YOU like. I have always tried so hard to be someone I'm not in order for people to like me, and by that I mean, I let people push me over and take advantage of my kindness. I learned the hard way that people really will like you for who you are. I began standing up for myself and saying what I think (but I'm not rude about it) and I became more open and found my inner self. I really hope this is helpful in any way. I wish you the best.

Experience