Is there anything wrong with my paragraph? Please help, will pick a best answer!!


Question: Is there anything wrong with my paragraph? Please help, will pick a best answer! =)?
The French Revolution was a terribly tumultuous time for the people of France. There were immense divides between the rich and poor, the population was growing at an alarming rate, and corrupt leaders were controlling the country. France was nearing bankruptcy, and taxes skyrocketed. People started to challenge the aristocratic way of life. When their peaceful pleas went unheard, riots broke out. At one point, it became so bad that people couldn’t even afford bread. People started to band together and revolt. It became apparent that the only way things were going to change was to fight fire with fire. Soon, a group of revolutionaries who called themselves the ‘Committee of Public safety’ formed the de facto government of France. Maximilien Robespierre, an impassioned revolutionary and exceptionally influential speaker, quickly came to be seen as the leader of the committee. Robespierre’s original objectives were to ensure the protection and power of the people. However, even when things started to improve significantly, Robespierre insisted on carrying out massive executions. Anyone who so much as seemed to disagree with some of his ideas was guillotined. Thousands perished at his hands. These outrageous and extreme executions made it evident to the people of France that Robespierre had become corrupted by his power, and they grew to mistrust and loathe him. Eventually, Robespierre was declared an outlaw, and after a failed suicide attempt, he was captured and executed at the guillotine. With Robespierre gone, the reign of terror in France came to a much anticipated end.

Answers:

It is quite good but it is not perfect. One error is that all words should be capitalized in "Committee of Public Safety."

As another answerer stated, it is written informally in places, such as the phrase "fight fire with fire". We also don't know what your assignment was.

However, judging by the caliber of writing that exists out there on the whole... this is way, way above average and any teacher should like it as long as all your sentences are of original construction.

RN and former rocket scientist and former English teacher



There's nothing wrong with your paragraph :) But how good it is depends on a) the level at which you're supposed to be writing, and b) the purpose of the paragraph.

For example, if you're in high school and this is for a history paper - it's great! On the other hand, if this is for a university report, it's a little informal and could use some improvement :)

Just my two cents!



excellent writing..you even have appositives and everything!
There is one thing though that is POSSIBLY wrong id check it.
In the sentence...
When their peaceful pleas went unheard, riots broke out.

Is pleas the correct spelling?

Over all great!(:



To long. Boring. Retarded.

Jk, its ight.



Its a little too long but it's perfect. Your really smart:)



Yes




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