Child passed, keeping bedroom as is?!


Question: Child passed, keeping bedroom as is?
There is a lady who I've known for about 5 years, and was pet sitting for her while she was away. About 2 years ago, her child died of a congenital heart condition, aged 14. I knew the child as well so I was saddened to hear the news. The child died about a year before the family moved to a new house, the one I was in.

While I was pet sitting, I saw that a bedroom had been set up for the daughter as if though she lived there, even though she had died before the family moved into the house. In addition, there were A LOT of memorial stuff around the house.

I respect those who do this and my question is not intended to offend anyone but rather, understand points of views. While I do understand losing a child can be devestating, does having a room for the child after death make it harder to recover? Doesn't it prolong grief? Why keep a room if it has/will never be used?

I would appreciate any thoughts and/or opinions...

Answers:

i would say that they are keeping the room like that to escape the fact that they are gone. it would be very hard for them to get rid of the childs things. but also, i think its not a good idea to keep a room just for the child because, imagine walking past it and just knowing the childs not in there and never will be again. its very sad. but they could be the kind of people who believe that the child is still "around." and keeping the room for them, just incase. i really hope this helps.



People mourn in different ways. Some would rather just get rid of it all so as to not be reminded on a daily basis. Others find it comforting to have their child's possessions around them and take more of a gone but not forgotten stance. To these people the bedroom is not a thing of sadness it is a tribute to their lost loved ones.

I am not sure how I would react to the loss of a child, especially one that young and I pray that I never, ever have to know what it is like.



Well leaving the room as it is can make others feel closer to the child. But it could make them more saddened to see the room as it shows memories of that person. Their really is no harm to keep the room like that. I mean you can move the stuff into boxes, but if you'll never use that room then why not leave it as it is?



when my friend died his mom left his room the exact way that he left it for a long long time. i think keeping the room the way the child left it comforts the parents. if i was in that situation i would keep it the same everyone takes different amounts of time to grieve but until i felt like i was strong enough to change it i wouldnt



i think it depends on the person. for some it may just be a memorial, and they feel comforted by it, for me it would just be a constant reminder. it's too fresh in her mind, i don't think i'd be able to move on that quick either.



for one thing, when the lady moved away why didnt she take that with her? if you have the lady's number call her and ask her what to do.



its best to just leave these things behind and move far away from them. Last yea, a friend of mine took some poison then jumped off the roof and took her life. Her mother was reluctant to leave the house at first. If it wasn't for the others around her who convinced her to move to another country with her husband, i think she would have had soon followed in her daughter's footsteps. The woman who kept the room unchanged for 5 whole years has probably grown mental problems already. Chances are that she has become schizophrenic and may even hallucinate her presence. It is definitely not normal behaviour.




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