I am failing in college, and essentially life and don't know what to do.?!

I flunked out of college last year and I had a very similar high school experience. Never really applied myself or tried more than it took to keep from getting grounded. And then this year i started at CC, was diagnosed with ADD and found that almost all my problems at school, and my being a complete introvert, were related to that, i didn't even know how disorganized my mind was until suddenly it wasn't and i could concentrate and i cared about what my professors were saying... I've still missed classes, and have to work hard to keep up with the notes,not just taking them but looking at them outside of class but life doesn't seem pointless anymore.

It seems like maybe you have a fear of failure which was one of my problems,I would only try at things i knew i was really good at, like you in lacrosse but if i wasn't confident in what i was supposed to do i wouldn't really tried because if i didn't try and failed it was whatever, but if i really tried hard and still failed it'd be like i was kind of worthless. But getting bad grades is what helps you learn for the next time and if you take the competitiveness i'm assuming you had in sports and apply it to tests or papers, it might motivate you to do well...just by competing against your past scores or the class average...

I know you said that the medicine didn't really help and i understand, i had to play around with my dosage before it started working to the point that i could sit through a 2 hour math class, and pay attention... maybe talk to your physician and see if you could try something else or work on dosage, because ADD is not easy to treat without some trial and error, i'm sure they'd be willing to work with you.

But regardless of whether you take meds or not, finding something that intrigues you is vital... I know it sounds silly but we had to take career tests periodically in high school maybe if you take a free one online it could give you some suggestions you hadn't really thought of?

I hope this helps at least a little it sounds like you really don't want to be the only person to have had this issue and you aren't... same with the suicidal thoughts, but you really should talk with someone close to you about how you are feeling, and if you are talking and they aren't listening then maybe see a councilor (i know there is a huge stigma against them but they can be very helpful. The trick is finding one you're comfortable with.)

I would not recommend taking time off though, chances are when you returned you'd just feel more trapped and feel as though you were behind, if traveling is something you are passionate about maybe take a semester abroad once you get on track academically...

finally you seem to be intelligent, based on how well you write so i don't think you should have any problem once you get your head in the game so to speak.

I can elaborate on anything you need clarification on,feel free to ask.
-S

See what you like doing and try to make a job out of it. Like if you enjoy driving, look into jobs that involve driving.

you need to find your passion and follow that instead. you just don't like school and its routineness.

Pray.

Here's a thought: maybe you shouldn't have slid by in high school, youve taught yourself horrible life skills and what you need to do is get over your apathy and start looking for a future because right now, yours isn't very bright.

Have you ever considered taking a break from school long enough to find out what makes you the person that you are? You are a special and wonderfully unique person! Believe in yourself because you are worth it no matter what you are doing! There is no one in this whole world that is exactly like you! Become the person that you always knew you could be! Be confident! Be proud and keep a positive attitude in all that you do! Before you know it you will know exactly who and what you want to be. Go for it! The whole world is out there!

The definition of depression is losing interest in almost ALL activities. If you say you couldn't care less and just live in a blur with your desicions, it seems you may be mentally ill. Suicidal thoughts are serious and should definately be addressed. Not all careers spring from schooling so don't panic. Working your way up from a small job and building your resume is the best way to acheive things. Cheer yourself up by playing some sports and get amongst happy full-of-life people to boost your joy. Have a break for a while, ask your parents for some money to take a trip away and clear your mind. Best of luck and try to be optimistic. Life is great, so many things to see and do, Stuff work!!! Be a fly by the seat of your pants gal (ref- pretty woman film) and don't take life so seriously
:) :) cheers