How do you deal with disrespectful relatives?!

The same dynamics (disrespect and hostility) happen in my family. Honestly it's very painful b/c I want so much to have healthy and strong relationships. What I have learned is that most often the "default position" for us is to automatically begin to defend ourselves and to be hostile back. This has taken quite some time to be processed and "untwisted"... and the process is not finished but is ongoing. There are three things I've seen to be helpful in my situation. Note that whatever is helpful...use it in your own learning and the rest feel free to ignore. It's like eating the meat and then spitting out the bones. A-When I am physically harmed (being touched or needing a ride and not being helped with one) I draw a line and have determined that I will no longer place myself in such a situation. B-Where the disrespect is emotional/spiritual ("what you believe is all wrong" or "Your ideas are stupid, I don't care what you think") I've learned to choose either I will visit and accept this for a few hours or I simply will not visit. C- I can no longer look to them to be my primary source of love and affection. They are who they are...I'm not going to change them. I make choices so that my life is full, there are deep and meaningful relationships in my life and these relatives are on the side. If I had a choice would I have it be different? You bet I would. That being said my value is never measured by how they treat me or what they think of me. After all...consider the source! My value comes from a very different place. This is a little of what I have learned...hope this is helpful. Remember that these forums are limited in the contact and context they can provide. It becomes very important to have friendships and relationships with someone you trust. Again hope that this was of some help.

Been there, done that..... if it usually ends up in arguing/ yelling / & bad behavior.....you have to pray that God softens their hearts & for them not to disrespect/ slander/makeing false accusations before you go visit /they come visit you. God is the only one who can change their behavior ....by changing their hearts.

Get new relatives

Have a s little dealings with them as possible.

excommunicate them.

Tell them to f*ck off.

I don't. You choose who to have in your life.