I need to pass my drug test! Help its on Wednesday!?!

I need to pass my drug test! Help its on Wednesday!?

I know what your going to say already...don't do drugs. Well I typically dont, but in a moment of weakness I took a couple of hits off of a friends joint this past weekend only to find out that I have to take a drug test this wednesday or Thursday! I'm freaking out because I really need this job. I've been drinking lots of water and I'm thinking out getting some water pills. Also I dont want to spend 60 dollars on a detox kit. Does anyone have any other ideas, and do you know if I will be able to pass with such short time to remedy the situtation. I"ve there doing a hair test I"m in trouble, but I have hope that maybe I could still pass a urine test. Also will being in the presence of a drug like Marijauna show up on a drug test? Say your in a smokey room, and would this explanation even work with a tester? Hope you can help. And please don't try to scold me for my silliness, I already know what I did was wrong and I regret it dearly!

this may seem weird, but you can ask for someone to urinate in the cup for you and use theres, and as for the hair, im not too sure how that works, but you never know, you might look better w/ a shaved head