My boyfriend is overweight, snores, has high BP... how can I convince him to see!
Question: I love him completely and his size is not an issue. My concern is his health! He refuses to see a doctor and has no good excuse as to why he is afraid to go. He's overweight, sneaks food (especially candy), over eats, has high blood pressure (not on meds), snores, sleep apneia, a mouth breather when awake and always seems to have labored breath.
I am trying to convince him to go to the doctor and he makes a joke of it or tries to change the subject. It breaks my heart that he doesn't see the seriousness in his condition an only FEEDS his problem. I have even gone to lengths of telling him that he is giving himself a death sentence in continuing to live in the manner in which he does and have told them that he is a walking time bomb. I have tried to be compassionate since I know overeating can be an addiction and very difficult to battle. Still it has been months and he still refuses to see a doc.
Please be nice...God don't like ugly!
Answers: I love him completely and his size is not an issue. My concern is his health! He refuses to see a doctor and has no good excuse as to why he is afraid to go. He's overweight, sneaks food (especially candy), over eats, has high blood pressure (not on meds), snores, sleep apneia, a mouth breather when awake and always seems to have labored breath.
I am trying to convince him to go to the doctor and he makes a joke of it or tries to change the subject. It breaks my heart that he doesn't see the seriousness in his condition an only FEEDS his problem. I have even gone to lengths of telling him that he is giving himself a death sentence in continuing to live in the manner in which he does and have told them that he is a walking time bomb. I have tried to be compassionate since I know overeating can be an addiction and very difficult to battle. Still it has been months and he still refuses to see a doc.
Please be nice...God don't like ugly!
Motivation is key, and it seems HE has to have an interest, as opposed to doing it for YOU...I recommend exposing yourself & him to health education, preferably dvds, audio cds, even youtube & Dr.Oz on Oprah is not too baad ..If he would be willing to sit through it!
These could inspire him to see the result of bad health decisions as well as inspire him to change.
Also both of you attending health workshops and/or a few classes re: health, and have it be a partnership thing..There's always ways WE can better our health as well.. This way, it's not a just HIM thing...I agree with substituting the sugars & salts etc..(See a nutritionist, homeo or naturopath):
And why not set up a secret appointment w/ a health care professional prior to a nice healthy dinner, with some trimmings of course.
And last but not least enjoy your self to happy health!-Br.Kofi (T.O.)
tape him snoreing hearing is believing
Honestly, this is not meant to be ugly - but tell him that you will leave him if he won't take care of himself. His neglect of himself is showing me that he doesn't care how you feel about it - his health problems will affect you when he becomes sick or worse. If he cares about you, he will want to see a doctor and get help. If not, (again, not being mean) you may want to rethink your relationship with him. I hope he gets the help he needs - good luck
Cuddle up to him, look him right square in the eyes and say, "Honey, you know that I love you and think the world of you. If you loved me, you wouldn't let me worry myself sick over you. Please go to the doctor so that I don't have to worry so much over you."
Tell him how much you love him and how you support him, and tell him that you don't want him to leave you alone on this earth. This is serious. Also, no sex until he has been to see the doctor (go with him.) He may feel depressed and like it is hopeless, so be very encouraging without babying him.
It is not possible to change someone who doesn't or want understand what he is doing to himself. The best thing I can recommend is to not buy thing for the house that is not good for him, candy, ice cream, cookies etc. Encourage him to drink water this will help fill him up and help flush toxins out of his system. Don't cook foods or limit how much you prepare of things like rice, potatoes, and pasta. Buy cereal that is high in fiber and low in calories, but has a good flavor like Heart Smart. Use season like Mrs Dash instead of salt. Salt is very bad for BP. Encourage him to go walking with you, may have to trick him by asking him to go with you to Lowes, Sears, Home Depot a store he would enjoy even if you don't. Its really up to you to do what he might not expect. The more you talk about his health the more unfortuly he will fight you on it more. So just think of what you can do to help that he might not notice. Be sure to watch sugar intake also because he is also possibly has a BS problem if he feels the need to eat between meals. Use splenda instead of sugar in all your cooking.
Good luck,
It can really be a job helping those who don't think they need it.
I was overweight. I tried numerous times to find the motivation to lose it. What finally worked for me was planning a trip with my best friend to New York City. She knew I always wanted to go there. I was so excited to finally go! I realized that food was going to be real expensive. I started eating less months before the trip so I wouldn't have to buy a lot of food once I was there. Then, I started walking all the time since I'd be doing a lot of walking in NYC. Once I saw what great shape I was getting into, I kept it up.
What he needs is motivation. I don't know what his motivation will be. Heck, I didn't even know that mine would be a trip to NYC. Going to a doctor isn't going to help if he doesn't seriously want to do something about his weight. Is there something he really wants to do or a place he really wants to go to? It can be as simple as an amusement park, a reunion, a wedding. Once he starts losing weight, his blood pressure and snoring will improve.