As carer of my elderly parents sometimes i think i dont have enough time to myse!
Question: would be greatful so i might be able to spend on doing other things
Answers: would be greatful so i might be able to spend on doing other things
My husband was paralyzed when we got married, & even w/some help from family, I was the one who got up to turn him every 2 hrs during the night, on top of all the regular day time chores. There were days when I was so depressed I truly wanted to die, but I was way too tired to do anything about it. My husband felt so guilty for the state I was in, & I couldn't tell him it wasn't because of him. He died in 1987 at age 43, & though I was sure I would
never learn to sleep thru the night, I did. But I would take him back in a heartbeat, just the way he was, knowing how it would impact me, becaise being exhausted isn't nearly as bad as being so lonely. You are doing the right thing, & will not have anything to regret. Do the best you can, one day at a time, & appreciate the time you have together, because it will be over all too soon. Hang in there!
this is life my friend god help you i hope just you could take one hour a day to speak to yourself and find a solution
Do you have any siblings that could help? I know how you feel! My mother had back surgery, and then came down with an infection and I took care of her for 5 months. I felt like it's all I did for those 5 months. I really respect anyone who stays in there and takes care of their parents though! Maybe you could get a home health care worker to come help once a week or something. Stay Strong!
You need to find a sitter, even for just even a couple hours a week!! It's not easy being a caregiver, you also need to take care of yourself. If money is an issue, there are several avenues to explore for a person to come into the home so you can have some down time. You can check with social services they offer what is called respite care. Sometimes the wait list is very long for these, but don't get discouraged. You may also want to try a local church sometimes they have people that will sit with your elderly parent(s) while you have some time for yourself. I hope this helped.
Get them involved in something- anything that gets them out of the house. If they are unable to get out and about have someone you trust come in and sit with them so you can get out and have some time for yourself.
If you are in the UK go to your GPs surgery as first point of contact and ask about respite care,Good luck and God Bless.
Hi Rick. I know where you're coming from. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers at the young age of 63 and passed away at 66 four years ago. Her disease progressed very fast but during those 3 years I was pretty much the sole caregiver. My dad was there, but he was not in the best of health and couldn't help much. My older brother and sister wouldn't help at all which was very frustrating. I took care of her for 3 years until she got to the point that she needed 5 people around the clock to care for her according to her dr. And I was completely and totally exhausted and even though I quit my job to take care of her, I was like you in feeling that I had no time to do anything else. On the rare occasion that a friend or relative would come help out for a few hours I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep!
Depending on where you live, there are different options you can explore. Some places offer services where someone comes out to your home for a certain amount of hours a week...and depending on your parents' condition, they might qualify for daily help or every other day to give you a break. There is help, you just have to find it. Unfortunately, this kind of help is not typically advertised alot so you need to ask alot of different people and really search for it. Some insurance companies even pay for these services. I didn't find any of this out until after my mother's death. If you can afford it, there are people that will come sit for however long you need them for a fee..and the fee's vary. And this is sometimes paid for by some insurance companies as long as the person is certified to do this type of work. Sometimes there are even volunteers that might help out. I wish that I could give you some definite places to start looking..try looking in the phone book for home health care and tell them your situation and hopefully they could tell you where to go from there. You might even call your local chamber of commerce and hopefully they could give you some leads. Just don't give up..ask many different people and surely you will find someone that can give you information about services available in your area. I have alot of respect for you for what you are doing, it's a very hard job and you are to be commended for doing it. I know that doesn't solve your problem but you are doing the right thing and you'll never have to live with any regrets of not being there for your parents..unlike my siblings and other relatives that "disappeared" during my mother's illness. I do hope that you find some answers and some help soon, I know you need it and don't ever feel guilty for wanting time to yourself. In order to take the best care of your parents, you need to take care of yourself first so that you are physically and emotionally healthy to be able to do your best. I hope that this has helped you in some way. If you don't find something soon, please feel free to email me and if you want to give me more info. about the general area you are in, I would be glad to make phone calls and do as much research as I possibly can to try and find some help for you. I know you desperately need it. Good luck to you and best wishes...
PLEASE..Consult with aide to family caring for aging Parents..there is help..you'll be amazed to find the level of assistance and visiting nurses to at will step in for hours per DAY to ease your needs...My daughter does it and ANY elder (Elder couples receive more help too) is eligible...You have my utmost respect, for you're the type that sets a PERFECT example to what the world should be..My hat's off to you...May the WORLD take lessons from you...Hugs, HOPE, Health and happiness to you and yours