Sometimes my poo makes me sad. How can i be the Master?!
Question: when i poo it makes me feel alive. but if the poo gets the upperhand by taking over 5 minutes to appear or by getting a bit of itself on my finger then i get sad.
I want to show it who is boss. i talk to it when it bobs prior to flushing. I have heard others talk to their creations.
i dream that one day we will all be judged upon our poo stories and not by how much we give to charity. They say that i am a dreamer , .. .but i am not the only one.
Answers: when i poo it makes me feel alive. but if the poo gets the upperhand by taking over 5 minutes to appear or by getting a bit of itself on my finger then i get sad.
I want to show it who is boss. i talk to it when it bobs prior to flushing. I have heard others talk to their creations.
i dream that one day we will all be judged upon our poo stories and not by how much we give to charity. They say that i am a dreamer , .. .but i am not the only one.
One thing that helps me master my poo is the bob and weave effect. As your poo bobs in the toilet, make sure you weave. It's the only true way of balancing out the situation and ensuring that you are in control, thus making you the master. As you weave, chant the following:
I am the master of poo and all I observe. My creation is perfect, it was a part of me, and now I part with it. Bow to me poo.
Follow up by flushing and breathing a sigh of relief, knowing that you have exerted full control of the situation and put your poo in it's rightful place, the sewer.
I too have a dream. A dream that one day, everyone who has crappy issues take control of their issues, and flush them down the drain, so the issues don't have to become crappy to everyone else around them.
Take control grand master poo-poo flusher. You, and only you, hold your poo's destiny in your hands.
Stop talking crap.
you have been watching too much "South Park"
What IS it about men and their feces?
But you are the master, bateman!!
Hee hee! Get it? Eh? Eh?
continue to dream
load of crap.
Count the number of breather ring indentations in each log and keep a record of them.
The less you relax during defacation, the less breather rings you will leave marked on each poo.
You will be able to chart your progress and see that your poos are getting quicker, this should cheer you up my friend.
are you talking sh1t again? lol!
Take a stand! Announce that you are Master of The POO! Don,t take any Crap ! You are the Man!
Don't put your hand near the Poo then you will not get it on your hand???? that is the only answer I can give you
weirdo
You're talking shite again mate!
Has someone regressed to the anal stage of psychosexual development; or have you always been fixated on it?! Maybe you should sit on Uncle Sigmund's lap, and partake in some free association with him. Alternatively, if you're quite happy remaining in this state maybe you should eat more fruit and fibre - then you can **** to your heart's content!