Getting someone to quit smoking?!


Question: My boyfriend smokes, and I have asthma, and keep getting sick. But that's not the main reason I want him to quit, his mom just got diagnosed with lung cancer (and she wasn't a smoker) so he's at a higher risk for it anyways. I got him some literature about Chantrix, and I'm wondering how people were on it? Also I don't want to turn into the nagging girlfriend, but I have started to and I don't want it to be that way because for him to be successful he has to want to do it himself. I have thought about incentives, like buying him his favorite movies, video games, toys (okay, he's 31, but he really likes Transformers).


Answers: My boyfriend smokes, and I have asthma, and keep getting sick. But that's not the main reason I want him to quit, his mom just got diagnosed with lung cancer (and she wasn't a smoker) so he's at a higher risk for it anyways. I got him some literature about Chantrix, and I'm wondering how people were on it? Also I don't want to turn into the nagging girlfriend, but I have started to and I don't want it to be that way because for him to be successful he has to want to do it himself. I have thought about incentives, like buying him his favorite movies, video games, toys (okay, he's 31, but he really likes Transformers).

I'm afraid HE has to want to ... no amount of you nagging, sweet-talking, bribing, etc., is going to make him to want to stop any quicker. At his age, he may need to reach a crisis in his life to get him to quit. If seeing his mother suffering from lung cancer and knowing the increased risk that puts him at doesn't get him to stop, I honestly don't know what will.

That being said, here's a book you might want to get him, "The No Nag, No Guilt, Do It Your Own Way Guide to Quitting Smoking," by Tom Ferguson. Yeah, it's a long title, but it is an excellent book. It is easy to read... meant for the layman.

The way to encourage him to read it is tell him that the book provides a number of strategies on how a smoker can be healthier while they smoke... yes there are ways to do that. That will get his defenses down and peak his interest.

When (and if) he decides to quite, the book provides a wide variety of ideas on how to do it. Not everyone is the same in what they need to successfully quit.

Good luck

Too late, you have already turned into a nagging girlfriend, if you wanted a bf who didnt smoke you shouldnt have "settled" for him and found someone who doesnt

I quit with Chantix in August, but I still have the craving to smoke sometimes. It is a very difficult thing to do. I'm sorry to say, that unless he really has it in his mind that HE WANTS to quit it will never happen. You really have to commit to quit.

Quiting is not that easy,i have been smoking for 50 years.
I have tried all the quit smoking patches,gum,pills none of them works.
i don`t think you should say any thing to him,it wont do any good,all it will do is piss him off.

talking to him about your feelings is not nagging. getting literature on different ways to quit is not nagging. there is nothing wrong with loving your boyfriend and wanting him to be healthy and around for a long time. bringing it up daily and being negative about it (reminding him how he smells bad, makes you sick, is going to die, needs to quit, threatening him) is nagging and would get very annoying.

now that he has the information it is up to him to make the final decision. he needs to know that you support him, and even if he WANTS to quit, it is NOT easy and may take a LONG time.

i used chantix to quit smoking and i've been smoke free for 16 months. i had crazy dreams while taking it, but it really helped cut out my cravings. there are some possible bad side effects and he should definately discuss all those with his dr before taking it to make sure its right for him.

Any habit is hard to break. Like you, I never smoked and when I would ask a girl out that was my first question. If they did, they could not smoke in front of me. By the 3rd date, they had to give it up. My sister was the same way, . Both our parents smoked. So what the answer? If you love him, don't give up. If he can't give it up, then you have to make a choice.





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