My friend who has chronic pain wants to die.?!
Question: My best friend is bed-bound due to chronic pain caused by spinal stenosis and nerve damage. She told me tonight that she just wants to die. She has 2 children, 16 & 12, and they are pulling away from her. They feel it is depressing to sit in bed with their mom all the time. She lives with her parents, who have to take care of her. She feels that if she died, her mother would have her own life back.
She is on very strong pain medication which doesn't seem to help all that much. She frequently takes more than prescribed because the pain is more than she can bear.
I tried to convince her that we would not be better off without her, but she doesn't see it that way. I told her if she continues to take too much medicine she might over dose and she said that would be a good thing.
She has given up and just wishes it could all be over with.
Is there something I can do to help her. I have tried to convince her, but she still feels the same.
Please help!
Answers: My best friend is bed-bound due to chronic pain caused by spinal stenosis and nerve damage. She told me tonight that she just wants to die. She has 2 children, 16 & 12, and they are pulling away from her. They feel it is depressing to sit in bed with their mom all the time. She lives with her parents, who have to take care of her. She feels that if she died, her mother would have her own life back.
She is on very strong pain medication which doesn't seem to help all that much. She frequently takes more than prescribed because the pain is more than she can bear.
I tried to convince her that we would not be better off without her, but she doesn't see it that way. I told her if she continues to take too much medicine she might over dose and she said that would be a good thing.
She has given up and just wishes it could all be over with.
Is there something I can do to help her. I have tried to convince her, but she still feels the same.
Please help!
WRONG!!! Rip, you should find a dark, cold place to sit all alone for a long, long time.
I think you and the family should do all that you can to make her feel LOVED. She could be picking up on the smallest inkling of a grudging attitude or there are things deing done for her in an unwilling manner, that is going to loom over everything for her. That's the way depression works. Above all, she needs to see that everyone is more than happy to be there for her and show that they they want her to stay with them.
I understand her feelings. If this is permanant and she will not get better, I say its her call.
I think that having a psychiatrist come in and talk to her about it, may give her a bad impression. However, a psychiatrist who comes in and talks with not only your friend, but the family members, could help her in her time of depression.
It's very sad to hear that your friend feels so depressed about the matter, and that she's told you she feels like she wants to die. I also think that a psychiatrist who records the meetings, and plays them back to the family, will get the family involved, and may help your friend out tremendously. I also think that it is best that you look over the medications carefully. There are certain kinds that causes depression; and if there is a way to find a certain drug that helps prevent depression that won't counter react with the drugs she is currently taking.
My overall advice towards you would to seek a psychiatrist, if possible, and take note on the drugs your friend is taking, and speak with a physician, or pharmacist about an anti-depressant that won't counter react.
I hope this helps you. Good luck for your friend, and I will pray for you both.
Please tell your friend that there is help for her. If her current dr. says there isn't anything else he can do for her then have her find a dr. that will help. There are various things they can do, from surgery to deadening the nerves involved.
Life is precious and her kids need their mother more than she will ever know. Her pain is doing the thinking for her right now...be her health advocate and go to bat for her...her life depends on it.
If she wants her life back she will have to try to get out of bed. I don't know how mobil she is, but the more she stays in bed the worse it will get. Taking too much pain pills will shut down or damage her liver. Back pain is very hard to deal with even for a couple of weeks. Chronic pain leads to depression & her doctor should be told, so they can help.
JUST INFORM HER PARENTS , SO THEY CAN KEEP A WATCH OUT FOR HER.Mention the kids, that she would be miss out on see graduations,
Pray , Pray , Pray for her!!! "With GOD ALL things are possible." if you believe".
I think that in the condition that she is in, she feels like she is just existing, not living. She should be administered her pain medications instead of them being beside her to take when she feels she needs them. There are shots that they can put in her back, say from a Pain Control Center. I also understand that an implanted device can be placed in her body with a wire that goes directly to the pain sight and gives off either electrical shocks or pain liquid medicines every so often. She won't overdose on it and the medicine or shock goes directly into her pain. Is better than taking narcotic pain pills that have a host of side effects, bad side effets. And they make her sleepy too. She needs to go to a Pain Center. She should also try some ice packs or moist heat to the lower back, or whatever area the pain is coming from. Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off and so on. The heat must be moist heat. Heating pads come with a moisture insert. But if she loses the will to live, nothing can be done. She has to have the will to get better and live and try, try, try to get a better from of the pain relief. My best to your friend and her family and to you for being there for her. Best friends do that you know. Good luck.