Colonoscopy prep??????!


Question: Colonoscopy prep!?!?!?!?!?!?
Okay so I just started taking the NuLytely for my colonoscopy tomorrow, I mixed with it Crystal Light lemonade as my dr!. suggested but I am having a really hard time getting that salty stuff down, I feel like I want to throw up every time it is in my mouth! So is it possible to consume 4 liters of this without throwing up!? I guess I just need some words of encouragement!. Thanks!!Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
Can't help you get the mix down, but how about a little humor to take the stress out!?

"Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy!. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis !. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner!. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep', which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven!. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies!.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous!. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation!. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor!.


Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep!. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water!. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons)



Then you have to drink the whole jug!. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon!.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result!.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground!.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative!. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch!? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle!. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt!. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently!. You eliminate everything!.


And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet!.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep!. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic!. I was very nervous!. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage!. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy!?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that!? Flowers would not be enough!.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said!. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked!.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand!. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down!. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep!. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode!. You
would have no choice but to burn your house!.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist!. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere!. I was seriously nervous at this point!.



Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand!. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song
was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba!. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate!.

'You want me to turn it up!?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me!. 'Ha ha,' I said!. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade!. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like!.

I have no idea!. Really!. I slept through it!. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel he beat from the tambourine' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood!. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt!. I felt excellent!. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors!. I have never been prouder of an internal
organ!."

Www@Answer-Health@Com

Yes, that stuff is nasty!. About as nasty as anything you will ever have to swallow!. And yes, it is hard to drink all that they ask you to drink!.
You do just the best that you can, that's all you can do!. Give it your best shot!. The prepertion for this test is much worse than the actual test itself!. A friend of mine mixed his with cranberry juice, that was the only way he could drink it!. My husband (and i probably shouldn't tell you this), got all the stuff home, mixed it up, took one look at it and said NO WAY! He never did have the test, and that was six years ago and he is fine!. My neice has to have that test every six months - so just think about her while you are drinking - maybe that will help!. Also, think nice pleasent thoughts, and after you drink some of it, do something to take your mind off of it!. I wish I could help you, but I can't!. I am really sorry that you have to go through this!. Let me know how you make out!. I will be thinking about you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It's really nasty and it's very hard to drink all that they give you!. Just do the absolute best you can!. If you don't drink enough of it then the doctor will not be able to see everything he needs to!. He could even cancel the exam!. So try hard to drink enough so that your bowels run clear!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

The stuff is notoriously nasty!. Unfortunately, I have heard from many patients that nothing cuts the taste!. I've heard of some people mixing it in ginger ale!.!.!.Anyway, think of all the old grammas chug-a-lugging and you'll feel better!. GOOD LUCK!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

Try holding your nose while you are drinking it!. Try to down about 4 ounces at a time!. Be sure to take a deep breath before you do this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Its a pain!. We've been there!. Just drink it as fast as you can!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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