I can't find anything to pursue and when I do it slips from my fingers. Hel!


Question: I can't find anything to pursue and when I do it slips from my fingers. Help ?
I graduated back in july 2010 and since then I have struggled to find any work or any kind of focus. Upon finishing I applied for anything I could, I was desperate to stay in the city and flat where I was and did not want to move back home. I kept applying for local jobs as well as opertunities else where that were more forfilling including a year long industrial placemet in japan, which looked awesome. I got a few intyerviews but nothing came up, after 3 months I had to give up living there and move back with my parents about 120 miles away.

I moved back and sought to find some local work to tide me over until I developed a sense of what I wanted to do, I tried doing bar work and waiting work but couldent keep it up, I have neurological problems that mean my hands shake uncontrolably, I also get muscle spasms. I was really depressed over this I wanted t to work there (big local hotel) so bad and not getting the job made me feel so pathetic, like I couldent even serve drinks. While this was going on I was applying for two decent jobs one back in Glasgow and one in Newcastle, I actually secured the one Newcastle and even though I wasent sure about the work I saw it something to keep me occupied in the meantime (roustabout for large scale chemical manufacturing). I started the job in january and hated it, I have type 1 diabetes and felt like working there would have messed up my sugar levels due to the irregular shift patterns inside a windowless corregated iron factory. The job consisted of 12 hour shifts from 7 till 7 either during the day or over the night. The work itself consisted of kitting up in full blown chemical suits with ventalation masks, shovelling the reactants into large reactors and extracting the final products at the end, the shifts were hard labouries work. A few days in and I got an email from the other 'decent' job I had been applying for asking if I could come for an Interview, I decided to quit my current work and go for that. The job was Glasgow based, light manufacturing of some security tags and specialst smart features for electronnic equipment, the job itself would consist of much more normal work - presentation etc. I would still not call this a passion or a life dream, but a good money making lead that could have bulked out my CV with more than old retail jobs( when has anyone said when Im older I want to work for a security tags and specialst smart features for electronnic equipment company?. Never is the answer. Went for an interview , seemed to go pretty well and now they have taken a full blown 8 weeks to respond to me and I havent got it.

That was the final straw now I satre my future and see nothing, I dont feel I can work anywhere, Like an unemployable freak. Low end retail jobs dont give me the time of day (plus all the Xmas temps have just been fired). I cant get any decent job and I feel like the world is putting pressure on me to find a real job and knuckle down to some career even if means working to the detriment of my health in a corregated iron hell hole. I cant keep living like this, I have spoken to no one except my two parents for the last 3 months, we live in an isolated remote area where the chance to get out and meet new people is slim to none and I feel like all my friends are either off living the dream or at least have a reason to slide out of bed in the morning. I feel trapped I cannot get any job locally there really are not that many a few shops and a couple of hotels and I have already posted a round of CV's "with a humble sigh". As for 'real' career jobs, I cant seem to get one of thoose either, realistically I dont knoe what I want to work as but I am willing to try something to at least rule it out, or that was my ethos back in july, I have applied for around 50 positions with no avail. The real deal is that I no longer know what to apply for, getting a job is one thing , moving to somewhere you have never been and know knowone is a different kettle of fish when your not even sure what you want to persue. I feel I am slowly become the twenty something loser who lives at home with mom n dad, only leaving the house to volenteer at the charity shop one day a week.

As for the question part of this, I dont know. Just help please any advice? how do I generate any interst in a career or a passion at least a place to aim, I have plenty of intersts but it turns out im not the next Jimi hendrix and I couldent even keep up with lance armstring let alone overtake him. I have now reached the stage where I have lost all confidence in applying for jobs.

So where do I go from here ?
PS. If this question sound unusually chirpy for someone claiming depression and a lack direction, its beacuse I have had a lot to drink, I find its the only way I can get to sleep without my problems bothering me.

Answers:

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Hi Edward

I am sorry to hear about your plight. I am sorry too that I don't have answers but I can offer a few comments that I hope will help a little.

Work/Career:
It does sound depressing and discouraging. It is understandable why you feel the way you do. It sounds like you have tried your best without any real success so far. Maybe ambitions about career should be on hold until something turns up for you. It could be a trap to bank all your hopes on it even though it is important.

Your Interests:
It is consoling that you have some good interests to fall back on. It sounds like you have Music. Hey you don't have to be the "next Jimi Hendrix" to get satisfaction and reward from being best or near best .... or do you? If you do, then I am not sure that is a helpful approach. Things that you are any good at and enjoy should be a booster for you and not something to be sniffed at, seriously. When you are depressed it is all too easy to negate the positives and paint everything black. But you don't have to do that. In fact by doing so, you are succumbing to a trap. The positives can be spring boards to coping better.

Physical Health:
Clearly it is important that you look after yourself better. It should be a priority. I suggest that you should not sacrifice your health for the sake of employment. Instead, select employment on the basis of what will promote your health.

Mental Health:
The same goes for what I wrote just above for your physical health. I should also add that, alcohol is not the best form of medication. There are less harmful medicines for depression and sleep. How do you feel about counselling / therapy / life coaching? Even exploring self-help principles might be helpful. Above all, don't be your worst enemy and shoot yourself in the foot. It is so easy to do that when you are depressed because it is difficult to see beyond the depressing factors. However there are positives. For example, your youth - you have time, your interests, your intelligence and there is more but I will leave you to consider them :-) ..... see some useful links below....

http://www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/selfhelp
http://www.cognitivebehaviourtherapy.org…
http://www.livingcbt.com/freeselfhelp.ht…




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