How to force someone to see a doctor?!


Question: How to force someone to see a doctor?
Here's the deal.

My mother is 55 years old. I've become extremely concerned for her health over the years. My father is too, but he says there is nothing he can do if she doesn't agree to see a doctor. He's overly passive about the situation.

My concerns are..

She can hardly walk. She takes tiny steps and hunches which she walks. She did ask her doctor this (so she says) and he said it's nothing he can change.
She forgets things a little too easily, even conversations you just had with her.
She throws up everyday. No really, everyday. I've been around her when it happens and it comes out of nowhere.
She sleeps all the time and does little to nothing a day. This is becoming apparent in the dozens of unpaid bills that pile up because she leaves them sitting on the table and doesn't pay them. When you ask her she lies and says she did. (Turned off cell service says otherwise).
She has chronic back pain. This is the only thing she has told her doctor, and she doesn't discuss it much with him. She just goes in and tells him shes having pain, and he gives her a shot that helps for a day or so.

I don't know how to handle this situation anymore. It's having a huge affect on our daily life and I'm afraid for her health. She refuses to see anyone about it and refuses to see a problem.

Is there anything I can do in this situation? Do I have rights to call her doctor and inform him of my concerns? Has anyone had any experience with this?

Answers:

This is a very tough situation. If a person is 'competent' (able to make rational decisions) they can not be forced to see a doctor. Your mother's refusal to see a doctor when she is having such severe and extensive problems could be considered a 'not rational' decision on her part but to override her choice it would take a court order to declare her incompetent. It is rather difficult to get a person legally declared incompetent. The person has to be really messing up their life. My suggestion is to write a letter to her doctor. Tell him/her your concerns just like you wrote them here. Tell them you need help getting her the health care she needs and ask for their ideas or recommendations. Put your phone number and address in the letter. I hope you can find a solution with her doctors help.

RN




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