I want to perform my own labiaplasty...?!

It's not just skin. The labia, when relaxed, seem just like any other pieces of skin but the truth is they are sex organs. To be exact:
The labia minora are well-supplied with blood vessels and nerves, making them highly sensitive, and glands that also produce a lubricant during sexual arousal.

Everyone has that thing you're talking about! I have that! Have you been in a locker room? have you ever seen real vaginas? Everyone has that! And anyways, it's sexy.

You'll be fearful when you do with and fear heightens your senses and nervous sensation. Don't use alcohol to calm your nerves though- it will act as a blood thinner and you will bleed to death. When you're on an operating table they use localized anesthetic which, yes, eliminates nerve sensation temporarily but also drastically decreases blood supply. You don't have localized anesthetic. The kind you could get would not be strong enough or local enough and besides you don't have the knowledge of anatomy to know how to inject it to get it to the right nerves. You could end up temporarily paralyzing yourself very easily. But honestly, you will be paralyzed anyway. When you get to the nerve tissue you will be paralyzed from shock. Have you ever seen raw nerve tissue? It's like rubber band spaghetti and if you see the film 127 Hours you'll see James Franco play a character who cuts through dead nerve tissue in his arm which is still sensitive enough even without blood supply that he blacks out from the pain over and over again.

Labia minora can swell to up to 4 times their size when aroused. That's a LOT of blood vessels in there to make them do all that work. Have you ever cut your lip and it just bleeds and bleeds? Well, your lips are slightly similar in appearance to your inner labia (for evolutionary attraction purposes). Now imagine if you cut OFF your lip. Stimulation to your genitals, again, without anesthetic, will begin the arousal regardless of if it's sexually intended so your labia will start to fill up with blood as soon as you touch your vagina and even start to think about touching your labia. You will lose a large amount of blood and honestly I wouldn't be surprised to hear that you died.

The thin skin doesn't repair easily and you will definitely need stitches but honestly it's really, really hard to stitch thin skin. It rips really easily and in an moist acidic environment like your vagina (you can't keep it dry, and you really shouldn't anyway because it's got it's own natural hygiene) infection is almost a guarantee. You'd need to keep it dry and bandaged. Actually, for a lot of the same reasons the vagina is awesome at taking blunt force and child birth, it's really bad at being punctured or cut. Sutures probably aren't the best solution. Cauterizing it might be. It kind of instantaneously melts your tissue back together and stops the bleeding but leaves a lot of dead tissue in the way that will eventually rot off. Use heat to cauterize is. An electric cauterizer is best, but those are in doctor's offices.

Besides all this, I really, really doubt that you can avoid infection even if you sterilized all your tools and surfaces and had sterile bandages. They often put people on antibiotics after surgery to kill any possible infections. I mean, how are you even going to reach down there without fainting from the pain?

You will probably bleed to death if you don't pass out from the pain. If you survive, you won't be able to hide it and you'd have to do to the emergency room or something because you'll probably be left with some deformed looking labia and a really, really embarrassing story. For God's sake, you called it a topical Anastasia!!!!

BTW, I don't know where you're getting your ideas of labia size, but porn stars all have tiny labia and they're sexually aroused so the normal limp dark wrinkled skin of the labia are all pink and plump. I think it's a stupid cultural shame that the only labia women and men see are small ones that only belong to a very small percent of the population when women of color and different ethnicities all have different looks! Elongated labia are seen as a sign of Beauty and used to be widely seen as a sign of beauty (see my link) until the vanilla porn industry bleached the world with its mediocrity. A vagina and labia re something to be celebrated as a miracle marvel of human evolution and it's so cool that they are so varied, different and amazing at doing what they do!

I have heard firsthand stories from Somali girls who had a female circumcisions. They wouldn't walk for weeks. They squatted over burning coals to momentarily relieve the pain for entire days. And the clitoral hood isn't even that big and not between their legs and they are forever sensitized to it afterwards and not always but often have massive psychological repercussions.

http://pcos.about.com/od/normalmenstrual…
http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/elonga…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cauterizati…

It will require stitches, and taking 'about an inch' of tissue off of your body sounds pretty drastic as well as painful.

i dont know if it will work cause im not a doctor,but its a bad and stupid idea u could really hurt urself