What can I do to keep from hurting myself ?!

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If it is "certain times of the year" then you might want to figure out what your triggers are--low sun? Bad nutrition? Cool weather?

If now is one of those times, consider asking about Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is a very common problem where there is not enough sunlight to stimulate the manufacture and use of chemicals in your brain. An easy fix is called a "happy light" or "light box therapy". It does an incredible job. I spent 10 years in a cold dark place without one, and when I got one, it was amazing how DIFFERENT the winter is now. I still want to be somewhere warm and sunny, but the light has completely changed my mood. I mounted mine right by my computer and I turn it on for a long time each day.

Also, make sure you are getting enough vitamin D. Pretty much everyone north of Oklahoma City needs to be supplementing with vitamin D, according to my health care provider. Additionally, there is talk in medical circles that the current recommendations of 400 IU's is not enough, especially if you are already deficient or have problems absorbing vitamin D.

One thing to remember is that hurting yourself or killing yourself is a deliberate act. You can CHOOSE to dwell on these bad thoughts and feelings, or not. You have to decide to not allow your emotions to run your life. It is hard at first, but gets easier with practice. When we get in these moods, we do not want to get out of them--we want something to make us get out of them. However, we are responsible for our thoughts. If you can think of, say, a blue toothbrush, you can choose NOT to think of hurting yourself. The brain can only think of one thing at a time--make sure YOU are controlling your thoughts, do not let them wander to destructive ideas. You will literally change the chemicals in your brain that way.

Faith in the Lord is what gets me through--I cannot tell you how much. He even gets me through these long dark winters (we live very VERY far north!). The Bible talks a lot about how to be mentally healthy and it really works--secular science uses the same principles in therapy that you can find in the Bible.

Anyway, talk to your doc about Seasonal Affective Disorder, make sure you are getting enough vitamin D, monitor your EVERY thought so that you do not allow the negativity to dwell, and consider faith. :)

You need to go to a psychiatrist and get different medications. Also try to go to counseling when you aren't seeing a psychiatrist. There are so many different things that can help besides medication. Try meditating or acupuncture. You need to get help. What times of the year? Holidays? During winter? Maybe try light therapy and have your vitamin D level checked it could be low. Again this is for like seasonal depresssion.

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