i 43 yrs females , i so on the edge at moment i really depressed. i on anterdepr!

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You sound like you're having a tough time at the moment, you have my sympathy. In order to get through this I agree with others that you need to tell your doctor. There are lots of different antidepressant drugs out there- you should tell your doctor exactly how you feel, as the ones you are on are obviously not working. Then the drugs take 2 weeks to start working, 4 weeks to see real improvements. Not all anti-depressants suit everyone, so ask your doctor to try a different one.
Other than medication, perhaps you could think about how you could tackle the problem you mention: feeling lonely. I wonder if you could look on-line to see if there are any support groups in your local area for people who have panic attacks? If not, how about doing something nice- a yoga class or a walk out in the countryside or a park to help you relax? It might feel like the last thing you want to do, but when you're depressed, you have to start by forcing yourself to be active again- at first it's a struggle and you might not enjoy it, but with time the enjoyment comes back. Have hope that you can recover from this depression- many other people have done so.

Your doctor asked you the question because such thoughts are normal for someone suffering from depression, if you do not tell them the truth they can not accurately check the efficacy of the anti-depression treatment that you are on. You need to tell them the truth, and you also need to tell them that the hysterectomy is weighing on your mind, they can then adjust your treatment, and possibly provide counselling to help you through it.

its strange it may be just one of those things but alot of people same age group are going through ups and downs just now, i think its the planetry possitions, you must be strong , and realise that no matter how hard things are, you have to try so hard to face things head on, and so many other people are going through the same things, you may say oh thats easy for me to say when i dont even know you , but believe me when i say by experience i have had my fair share of health issues and will have them for the rest my life medications each day etc, but like millions of others i just have to get on with it and face one day at a time, you are maybe worrying to much go back to gps no one will think you are a nutter you are afraid as you feel alone you must get medical help as soon as possible, do not hold everything in thease are trained professionals and are used to helping people like you who feel rock bottom at the moment we have all been sad or depressed at some point in our lifes , also talk to your husband share with him how your feeling dont bottle it all up , also if you are alone and this feeling of suicide creeps over on you , ring the samaritons they are there to help any one who may feel like you do, and remember my friend everything does change nothing ever stays the same, so i hope you are ok and look to the future knowing that you are going to be strong enough to overcome this hurdle, god be with you ,a caring women who hopes for the best for you ..

experience in lifes ups and downs