URGENT QUESTION! how can I help my friend?!


Question: URGENT QUESTION! how can I help my friend?
I have to say, there is NOTHING that feels worse than feeling useless.. Like when you know your friend is CUTTING, but you cant do anything about it, cause they don't even live in the same city as you.. He promised to try to stop today, but I know that its not going ot be easy.. What can i say to help encourage him to get better (he refuses to get help) and what can I do if he can't stop? It tears me up thinking about this, and the pictures he shows he bring tears to my eyes, because he is only 16. He contemplated suicide a week ago, but i managed to talk him out of it... What can I do. I need help...

Answers:

Hi Missy, sounds like you are a good caring friend and those are often far and few between. Let me say this and then explain, "a friend can get over being mad at you, but they will not get over being dead"! With that said, since you live in a different city than he does I would guess you do not see him often. But you are not useless, even if you feel that way. I am a counselor and have been for years and I can relate to your feels. But with him being 16, cutting, and talking about suicide you need to tell an adult, so he can get the professional help that he needs. Many times people will make a gesture of suicide because they are so upset, but don't really mean to go all the way through with it, but do.. I have seen 2 incidents with adult women that this happened with and now they are dead. Most individuals will out grow "cutting" with help. If you would like emotional support yourself I would be glad to be here to talk to you so that you can continue to support him, or I would be happy if you gave him my email or IM on Messenger. If yo go to my profile page you will see how many people have contacted me..Being a teenager in my opinion is the hardest part of life, you are not quiet an adult and no longer a child.There is terrible peer pressure in school, and education and "what am I going to do with my life?" is hanging over your head. With time this will pass, but it seems like it lasts forever..God Bless ReggieR

25+ yrs counselor



Well if he doesn't get help then spend as much time with him as possible. He's not cutting himself for no reason. Do u no what's going on with him? Just spend time together, go watch a movie, go to the park, have fun. Let hime no that life doesn't have to be negative



Tell his that suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem.

Me



First time you need to ask yourself is: How bad do you care for this person? If they're talking of suicide, (even mentioning it), YOU have to step forward and get them help BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! A person only needs to be successful at a suicide attempt once for everything to be over with. Do you understand what I'm saying? If they succeed at an attempt, they're dead... and you'll live with the thought of "what more could you do" for the rest of your life. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
There are many reasons why people cut themselves. The most general reason (outside of culture and subculture) is to gain control over their emotions. If something has happened to the person and they cannot understand and decipher their feelings they may cut so that they can control the pain (physical). They may also do this to alleviate emotional pain after a death or break-up or something along those lines.
People also cut themselves because they feel stressed or depressed and they feel cutting is a way to release their pain or anger. However, it does not help, and only makes things worse.
** Now, back to getting your friend help, there are things you can do this very minute! I'm attaching a few links to suicide hotlines. Contact either one of them and tell them what's going on. They will help guide you in the direction you need to go. If you are on yahoo answers posting this question, I know you care about this person. Don't stop here. Follow it through to the end and just hope and pray that your friend gets the help they need in enough time.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_people_…
http://suicidehotlines.com/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org…




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