I need help to prevent me from killing myself and being suicidal.?!

I need help to prevent me from killing myself and being suicidal.?

I've had this feeling for many years, and somehow I managed to steer away from killing myself. Everytime I mess up and my parents yell at me, or as my dad is about to hit me, I have the urge to kill myself. I usually cut myself to easy the pain, then after a while have all thoughts about how I will kill myself. Purposely crash and cause a severe accident, knife through heart, or even jumping off buildings. I never seeked professional help, and I am going to see a doctor on thursday for a normal checkup. Im not sure if I should tell him. I also dont want my parents to know. I try to avoid my parents, but even as I did, today they were pissed about it and my dad was about to hit me. Im 18, I try to move out but Im unemployed and my parents just wont let me. Any advice before I accidentally do kill myself and no longer see the day's light?

Please don't hurt yourself, you sound like a really beautiful person who has been dealt a pretty tough hand in life at an early age! Try to remember that even though you feel like you are in a dark place and all alone - there are people out there who feel the same! Talk to your doctor about your issues - by law they can't tell your parents about your consultation unless you ask them to do so! There are heaps and heaps of trained professionals out there who have millions of strategies to help you deal with any issues you may encounter! They will find you away to get out of your abusive situation and help you get on with the life you choose! I have lost people I love through suicide and it always seems like a huge waste and only ends up hurting the people who really love or care for you! Talk to someone or try reading something that provides inspiration - One book I know of is about a boy who had suffered the worst recorded case of child abuse and fought back to become one of the worlds most highly praised citizens! "A Boy Called, IT!" by David Pezler. Anythings possible! Good Luck!!!