Should Dad go into a nursing home?!


Question: Should Dad go into a nursing home?
Dad is 82, living in a retirement village where has his own unit, and generally in good health apart from a few minor health issues, but is starting to have little problems taking care of himself as to doing his own cleaning, laundry and general light housekeeping. I do as much as I can to give him assistance & he has some help through Home Care visits. I've made enquiries about getting in extra help once a week. He insists he can still manage, but I know from my visits that that isn't the case. I've been getting some pressure from his family and friends as to putting him into a nursing home. Dad hasn't been assessed by ACAT as yet but if he decides that he wants to stay put a bit longer at the village, I'm not sure what would happen if a nursing home placement became available and he decided he wanted to stay where he was.Would we be able to put the plans on hold for say 6 months? He says he's okay with the nursing home, but I don't want to force him into taking the placement if he's not going to be completely happy there. I've spoken to my GP who has marked his referral as urgent but says the waiting list could still take anywhere up to a year. I feel very guilty and also sad, as I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

Answers:

You are wise not to rush the decision to place you father in a Nursing Home. You are obviously in Australia. It varies from state to state. I would not bother with a visit from ACAT for some time. He may be able to manage for some time yet even though things are not perfect.

You should have been told that there are three levels of care. Self - contained living where the elderly can live in their own home or in a retirement village like your father is doing and get their own meals and go out when ever they like. The next level of care is a hostel level of care. This involves having their own bedroom and ensuite with a couple of pieces of furniture, usually a recliner or rocking chair and a bookcase or cupboard for books and to put their television on. They can usually still bath and shower themselves and most people in a hostel level of care are able to get up and go to the dining room to eat with the rest of the community. They simply aren't up to preparing their own food or going their washing and cleaning any more. This is about where your father sounds as though he is.

I don't think that you father is at a Nursing Home level of care. At this level they spend most of the day either in bed or sitting up looking at television or out doors at the view. Quite a few have dementia of some sort. If they do not they are usually involved in board games or other group entertainments. Those in nursing homes are usually too unwell or immobile to go on trips. They are usually on the last one to two years of their life, if not the last months of their lives.

This does not sound like your father. He still sounds alert and active. Try to keep him this way if possible. If he has not got a retirement village in a staged arrangement where the client automatically moves from having their own self - contained unit to a hostel level of care then to the nursing home level of care you should use the time that you have from now until he has to go into a hostel level of care formally to seek out the best place for him. One that is close to your place of living and that has a good reputation would be good.

If you choose a church one, speak to people other than members of the church. They are always biased. When we put my father into a nursing home briefly he was very well looked after in a not - for - profit place with no church affiliation. It proved better than any of the church or even the RSL operated one. A number of them have had to upgrade severely on the Far North Coast of New South Wales since then as standards have been lifted. Also I believe that the bond is approx $300,000 now. That is the latest that I have heard. It may be more or less where you ask. So as I have said, shop around - I looked at over half a dozen places. Don't rush.

Good Luck!!!

Links that may be useful
Low Care Nursing Homes
http://www.agedcareonline.com.au/low-car…

High Care Nursing Homes
http://www.agedcareonline.com.au/high-ca…

New South Wales Ages Care Homes
http://www.agedcareconnect.com.au/reside…
http://www.nursinghomes.com.au/aged_care…

More Detailed
http://www.agedcareguide.com.au/resident…

Uniting Care
http://www.unitingcareageing.org.au/

SDA Aged Care
http://adventist.org.au/life/seniors/new…

Privately Owned Nursing Homes
http://www.primetrust.com.au/new-south-w…
http://www.kindercaring.com.au/
http://www.haaa.com.au/aged_care_facilit…

This is a huge industry. I hope that this bit of information is of some help to you in sorting out your fathers' future care. I know that it is not easy. I have been there.

Best of Luck!!!

Cared for Parent until they passed
Department of Health and Aging.
http://www.health.gov.au/internet/main/p…



It sounds like you have power of attorney or you are the executor of your dad's well being, so have him evaluated by the professionals, and let them help you to decide what is best for your dad, and don't let the pressure of the rest of the family make you do something that could harm your dad or you will have it on your conscious and the rest of them will deny that they wanted your dad to stay where he is.

Certified paramedic and have my 94 yo mother with dementia in a nursing home




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