I can't eat normally... help?!
Question: I can't eat normally... help?
Last year, I went on a pretty severe diet that could have easily turned into an eating disorder. I averaged about 800 calories a day, and I was showing a lot (but not all) of the symptoms of anorexia.
(I was never underweight, though I was on the border between healthy and underweight for quite a while.)
It really was hell. I remember writing in my journal "I can feel myself dying, one lost pound at a time."
So I decided to start eating healthy again. It was hard at first, but after about two months I was eating completely normally.
Just a few weeks ago, I decided to go on a diet again, even though I really didn't need to. Most days I was eating about 1200 calories a day, but a few days it got as low as 700. Then I decided I was going to end up repeating last year, and I quit. So then I started actually eating more junk food than I know I should (not too excessive, but still.) Then, after a few days, I was disgusted with myself. So I started restricting again. And guess what? After a few days, I tried to stop and ended up eating more than I should.
Sometimes I become obsessive about eating enough of everything but NO junk food, or I'll just eat as little as possible. Then I stop and eat more than I should. And it goes on and on like this.
I keep telling myself I just have to stop thinking about calories long enough, then I can eat normally without going overboard, I just need to get used to it. But before I can get to that point I start restricting again.
I don't think I have binge eating disorder, I did some research and that doesn't really seem to describe me. So what's wrong with me? How can I eat like a normal person? Help!
This, in itself, is an eating disorder. The fact that you feel you need to restrict so much, then you get scared and eat way more than you should proves this. But the BIGGEST hint that this is an eating disorder is that you're obsessing about calories. That's the biggest thing. You think you're not eating enough, so you eat too much. Then you think you're eating too much, so you eat too little. It's a vicious cycle, hun, and you're not going to be able to get out by yourself.
Look up ED-NOS (Eating Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified) to read up more on it. Anorexia is when you restrict too far and exercise too much. Bulimia is when you eat too much (binge) then throw it all up (purge). From what you've written above, you fit one characteristic from each, but not both from each, which is what makes it EDNOS.
Talk to a doctor about this cycle you're in, they can recommend a counselor for you to help you try to come out of the cycle and figure out the true cause.
I don't think that this is a physical problem as much as it is a mental problem. I think that you're feeling that you are fat, when really, you're not even close to it. When you feel disgusted with yourself, this is a sign of anorexia. Here's some websites to help.
http://www.helpguide.org/topics/eating_disorders.htm this one I think will really help
Hope this helps:) and good luck.
You have a very interesting story (:
First, you need to stop eating too much junk food. You can do that by putting notes on the fridge saying "NO! STOP! NO EATING JUNK FOOD!" or maybe something like that. If you eat too much, you could end up being a fatty. Of course, there are other ways such as not buying any junk food and start eating healthy. If you are still going to school, ask your mom or dad to do grocery shopping in a healthy way. At least have 1 or 2 junk foods a week.
There are 3 meals a day! Dont eat more than that.
By the way, maybe you have anorexia! Go somewhere and ask someone if they look at you as a fat person or a skinny person (just to make sure you have or u dont have anorexia!!!)
Hope it helps. :P