Living with an alcoholic who ruins my life?!

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You might find it helpful to connect with SMART Recovery. SMART is a peer-led recovery group for people who wish to quit addictions, but it has a very different philosophy from the 12 step programs you've checked out. It also has support for family and friends of alcoholics. Here is a link--go to the site and scroll down for "friends and family".

http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Sober 12 years.

You don't say how old you are. You can join Al Ateen and Al Anon, support groups for family members of alcholics.

If you are in school, speak to your school guidance counsellor about the problem. You may need to request that Children's Aid or similar agency remove you and your brother from home and put you in group or foster homes. At least then you will be housed, fed and clothed in a supportive enviromnent while your finish school.

Finally, you may need to have your father step in and cut off her money or divorce her.

At the end of the day it is your Mum soo u just hve to step in and do everything you can to make her stop (Just take the money awway from her or hide it do something soo she cant buy alchol)
You cant leave her as she can commit anything sucide you just need talk to her and hve to go and see phycolgist HOPE THAT HELPED

Some tough love may be called for, I'm afraid. Can you get her charged with a criminal offence, so that she gets channeled into the Courts' treatment channel? She sounds like a danger to herself and others, so you might be able to persuade a doctor to section her under a Mental Health Act.

NB I am not a psychiatrist, but am answering as they do not seem to look at this site.

Dear Bob

Your mother has good eyesight? Thats excellent

But if any member of yoru family requires a routine eye examination please do not hesistate to give me a call.

All the best to you

specialist eye care professional since 1969

There is really not a way to help her. She has to first realize that she has a problem and acknowledge that it is affecting her life and her relationships and harming her loved ones, and then she has to want to help herself.

The only real advice I can give you is to keep applying for a job. That's the right direction. Once you get a job, you can save up enough money to move out. Most people I know that have alcoholic parent(s) have, after they moved out, threatened with NC, or no contact, which is basically a "I don't want to talk to you when you're always drunk, so call me when you're sober" kind of thing. It's harsh but sometimes it helps them realize that they have a problem that is stressful on everyone else.

Below are two links I found, one for the main website called Sober Recovery, and another link to a forum conversation about a son and his alcoholic mother. Maybe you can find something to help you, or at least a support group. I suggest you talk to someone about what's going on. It doesn't have to be someone you know, it can be someone in an online support group. It seems like you're going through a really hard time, and with no obvious answers about how to help, I'm sure you're stressed.

I hope that you and your family can figure something out.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/frie…

I am really sorry that your mother's behaviour has become unbearable.
Unfortunately, it will not change until she gets to the point where she realises she has a problem and decides she wants to do something about it.
The only thing any of you in the family can do is to change the way you react to her behaviour.
I'm sorry you haven't felt that Al-Anon or AA could help. There is also an organisation called Al-a-Teen, which may be of help to you or your brother.
None of this is your fault, and you do need to find strategies for coping until such time as you are able to walk away.
Please give Al-Anon another chance, and stick with it, just as you would hope your Mum would stick with AA if she ever got to the point where she was ready to get help.
Good luck.

Experience