Doctor refuses to allow me to have my tubes tied?!


Question: I asked my Dr about having my tubes tied. I am 31 yrs old, divorced, with one child who is 5. I do not want anymore kids. He told me I might change my mind, so "no, I wouldn't approve it, nor would anyone else." I'm tired of the Depo shot. Even with my history of severe depression (which is another reason I can't handle another child), he refuses to do it. I don't think 31 is very young at all to know I am done with children. I have zero interest in another, or in ever getting married again. I love the child I have, but he is all I can handle. Has anyone else had so much trouble trying to get sterilizied at this age?


Answers: I asked my Dr about having my tubes tied. I am 31 yrs old, divorced, with one child who is 5. I do not want anymore kids. He told me I might change my mind, so "no, I wouldn't approve it, nor would anyone else." I'm tired of the Depo shot. Even with my history of severe depression (which is another reason I can't handle another child), he refuses to do it. I don't think 31 is very young at all to know I am done with children. I have zero interest in another, or in ever getting married again. I love the child I have, but he is all I can handle. Has anyone else had so much trouble trying to get sterilizied at this age?

not going into extreme detail but i suggest talking to a Dr. about thermoablation surgery. (check the spelling on that) I had the surgery about 2 or 3 years ago. Not one period since -- insurance covered it ... simple and amazing --- please i urge you read up on it.

Its your choice, the doctor has no right to not allow it if there is nothing wrong with you.

Wow.. I think that's against the law or something for a doctor to deny you medical service because they think you'll change your mind. Although I really think you need to get some help, because if you wanted a child later, that'd be really really terrible, I think you should try to talk to a lawyer and figure out the logistics of the situation, because something about that seems wrong to me.

he must be catholic

well get a 3rd or 4th opinion, it;s your body

Planned Parenthood or a clinic similar would do it no pressure :-).

My first wife had a lot of trouble getting a hysterectomy. They most often cited her age (same as yours). Finally, the debilitating cramps every month led one doctor to give her the 'bad news' that a hysterectomy was the only option.

They are afraid of you changing your mind and suing them.

You should report these dr.s immediately. "You might change your mind..." whatever. Sounds like they're just lazy. You should keep looking till you find someone who will do it (safely of course), because this decision is your own, and no one else's. I read an article about dr.s refusing service for personal or religious reasons once, but I don't remember where or what to do about it. All I know is, you have the right to do this if you want.

Yes, I have heard of this situation. My brothers' girlfriend is in her twenties with multiple children, and she wasn't approved in getting her tubes tied either. It is said that when women are still fairly young, doctors refuse to conduct the operation because they indeed may change their mind. In this case, with fairly young women, they are only approved to get their tubes tied for possible medical reasons. So your best bet as of now is to continue your birth control. And later if you decide to have another baby, you will be thankful.

I don't understand why they wont do that for you?? I mean you choose to have it done. I know the law requires you to be 25 to have your tubes tied but you are 31 so what is their deal?
I see nothing wrong with it. Maybe you should look up another doctor that actually approves of it. Some doctors are just aganist it, but they should of gave you a clear reason why so you could understand better.
I'm sorry I'm not any help but I wish you luck. :)

Have you considered a medical trip to a country outside the US? Perhaps you could find a doctor who did not want to play god with your life.

I am 29 years old I have 3 children and I thought that the depo shot was wrong for me do a search on Depo and you will see what I mean.It is very scary on the side effects of this.
And as for the tubal I had it done 1 1/2 years ago.And I am just about to be banging on a Dr's office door to have them untied.Your Dr. is right you should not have them done.
It will cause you mental and physical chaos!For example:
1)No sex drive
2)Night sweats
3)Feeling agitated the week before your period.
4)Hot Flashes
5)Cold Sweats
Please really think about the tubal and get off the depo find something else,because depo will cause your serotonin levels to drop and this is one of the main chemicals in our body that keeps us happy,sain,and from being depressed.
I would have given anything had I went for the pill instead of the knife!Many a women I have spoken with have had the same problems I have had on the tubal.

You can keep trying different doctors, you will eventually find one. You for sure cannot sue of force any doctor to perform a surgery on you so just keep looking around. You might want to consider the iud for birth control, it is at least as effective as tubal sterilization and the mirena iud is even more effective. Yes that is true, it is more effective in preventing pregnancy than sterilization. And, it will probably stop your periods or at least make them much much lighter and less painful. And much safer than having surgery.

It is not actually agsint the law for a dr to refuse to give a patient this surgery. My dr actully pushed me into doing it. On the first dr's apt with my second child he told me he asked me about getting my tubes tied. And then asked me more and more through out my pregnancy until I decided that it was a good idea.
Now unfortuatly I don't think it was a good idea. It's not that I really want other children. It's more of the side effects I have been having from having them tied. I now have almost no sex drive, my pierods are crazy. I use to go about every 29 to 30 days, bleed for 4 maybe 5 days, and have just very mild cramps, and my flow wasn't to bad. NOW that I have my tubes tied they go anywhere from every 20 days to every 35 to 40 days, I bleed for at least 7 days, and it's not unusal for me to go 10 days, I have horrible cramps, and my flow is so heavy that I bleed through a super in a little over an hour.
Have you thought about an IUD?
I do think it's your choice, and if you want your tubes tied, you need to find a dr that will. But I would suggest to do your reaserch on the side effects of this procedure. Not a lot of women are aware that there are side effects to this.

There's no law that states you have to be a certain age or have children before you can get a tubal ligation. You just have to find a doctor who will respect your right to make decisions about your own body. I would recommend Feminist Women's Health Center (US) or Marie Stopes (UK): both of them have policies which state they do not discriminate against younger women who want sterilization. Call the prospective doctor's offices on the phone and ask whether the doctor is happy to sterilize women, that way you don't waste your time.

Tubal ligation does not cause menopause or menopause like symptoms. However, many women who undergo sterilization have been using hormonal birth control for years before the surgery, so their periods change because they're not on hormonal birth control anymore.

You can also look into the essure procedure, which has a much shorter recovery time and doesn't require anesthesia.

31 is not too young to have the surgery, but I do think it is too young to have your tubes tied. Who knows what is going to happen in your life within the next 5 years?!?

If you don't want to use depo anymore then start using condoms or stop having sex.





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