My wife wants breast implants, cause she has small breasts?!
Question: She has major self-love issues because of it and it is affecting our relationship because of it. Its costs alot of money but we can afford it. Im against it due to the fact that I feel we are all made the way we are and must accept it, she is not disfigured in any way and she has a lovely body.
Is it fair on her to not be supportive, or have I a right to totally not like it and pressure her out of doing it?
Answers: She has major self-love issues because of it and it is affecting our relationship because of it. Its costs alot of money but we can afford it. Im against it due to the fact that I feel we are all made the way we are and must accept it, she is not disfigured in any way and she has a lovely body.
Is it fair on her to not be supportive, or have I a right to totally not like it and pressure her out of doing it?
That's tough because you cannot make a person love themselves. To you she has a lovely body and your opinion ought to count for something. You love her just the way that she is or you wouldn't have married her in the first place.
Most reputable plastic surgeons will have their patients go to at least one or two sessions with a therapist to rule out having surgery for the wrong reason. This would be a good step in the right direction for her because it sounds like she needs to do some working on her self image.
About all you can do is try to convince her that you love her the way that she is and that changing the size of her breasts will not make you love her more. However, a huge financial strain will cause problems in the marriage.
I am all for women trying to look the best that they can but I have seen too many women who have had this operation turn around and start obsessing about some other part of their body.
One point that has not been mentioned is the fact that this is major surgery and there are many risks involved not only with the actual operation but the long term effects such as nerve damage, back pain and the inability to identify problems such as breast cancer by mammogram can be devastating.
I appreciate the fact that you not only love your wife the way that God made her but that you care enough about her to see beyond her body. Good luck.
u could try to adjust and accept that fact.
i read a book.
a girl had a disease called aleopica
it makes all her hair fall out.
she did not even hav eyebrows!
there was no cure,
but she accepted it after all.
Chivalry is great, but sometimes you have to give in and really consider how she feels. If this has been an ongoing issue and her self esteem is suffering, then support her in doing what she wants.
You should give your opinion, you owe her that honesty. But it is ultimately her decision.
OMG...Thanks for the headache.
I would absolutely stand my ground on whatever opinion it might be. You like her the way she is -- if she wants to go changing herself and the outcome is poor, she had better fully expect that you may not like it. And at that point, it would be her fault for going through with it.
she should just get the kind she can put in her bra
I was always told more than a mouthful was a waste.
A breast implant is a prosthesis used to enlarge the size of a woman's breasts (known as breast augmentation, breast enlargement, mammoplasty enlargement, augmentation mammoplasty or the common slang term boob job) for cosmetic reasons; to reconstruct the breast (e.g. after a mastectomy; or to correct genetic deformities), or as an aspect of male-to-female sex reassignment surgery. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, breast augmentation is the most commonly performed cosmetic surgical procedure in the United States. In 2006, 329,000 breast augmentation procedures were performed in the U.S.
There are two primary types of breast implants: saline-filled and silicone-gel-filled implants. Saline implants have a silicone elastomer shell filled with sterile saline liquid. Silicone gel implants have a silicone shell filled with a viscous silicone gel. There have been several alternative types of breast implants developed, such as polypropylene string or soy oil, but these are uncommon.
If you think it would make her feel better about herself why hold her back... I would say if it's something she really wants and you love her you should be supportive.. I'm not a big fan of fake boobs but they are making them look more and more natrual now days... I would be supportive for her..
You are the only one who will sleep with her. If your happy with it then she don't have to go for it. Tell her that you're happy with her body and need not change it.
Myabe she just wanna feel confident with people around.
well it sounds like shes doing for the right reasons unless she wants to look more like someone else if she is just trying to be a better her and get some confidence you should be supportive want you love her no matter what
If your wife is suffering from not having the implants then you should let her get them.
I'm with you, I like them natural. You should try to talk her out of it but in the end you might have to give up and support her because if like you said it's affecting the relationship, maybe it would be better if she did get them. I don't know, I guess make sure she knows how you feel but don't be too stubborn about it.
you should have her get them. she'll be happier and you get to play with some nice boobies. it might even spice up your sex life. and all the dudes will stare at your wife. your so lucky. I wish my old lady would get them. but if I mention it to her she'll kick me in my balls.
You should be supportive of her wishes. I totally understand how she feels!! I was in the same boat as her, a nice body except very small on top and I never felt like a complete woman. Then my husband bought me implants when we were dating. He said it didn't matter to him but he knew how much it mattered to me. I used to come home from Victoria's Secret's crying... I thought about how bad I wanted breasts every single day. Well now we're married and it's been 2 years since my surgery and it was THE BEST INVESTMENT HE EVER MADE!!! Even HE admits it now!!! (And he wasn't that into the surgery - he did it for me) HE gets a lot of the benefits because I feel SO happy and confident about my body!!! Guess what that translates into for a man....??? <wicked grin> You won't be sorry.
In response to what Kelly M towards the bottom wrote, I went to multiple consultations and have never heard of a plastic surgeon requiring an adult to go to a therapist to make sure she's doing it for the "right" reasons. That would be very insulting & condescending, as if women don't have a brain! Also most women have no further problems or surgeries. I went from an A to DD (I am 6 ft tall and thin) and they look great and natural. The size will depend on her height & build. They don't make me look heavy! They make me look like I've finally filled out. My only regret was not doing it years earlier. I have never obsessed over any other part of my body afterwards like Kelly M claimed. I've been very happy with my body since I got implants. She doesn't know what she's talking about.
This can mean EVERYTHING to a woman. You have to realize this isn't about you. It's about her body image of herself and what she wants to do to feel confident and feminine. Also, it's not $8K - it's between $5-$6K. You or her can email me if you have any questions.
i think, it does not matter that what she have or not, i think nature creat her like that, and u both if love to each other, it does not matter that what she dont have, if u love her, ask her that its not must that she have big breasts, so just keep her as it is. and love her only.
good luck
it is not wrong for you to express how you feel to the fullest extent but if she is set on doing it, youre probably gonna lose the fight. If she does end up doing it, just except it. Whats done will be done, and be supportive of her because from what i've heard, after the surgery she wouldnt need the support of you but it would help a great deal, during the painful recovery process.
My fiance is also highly against implants. Not that i would get them, but knowing how he feels about them and that he likes my body for the way it is, i appreciate him and will respect his feelings. Maybe your wife should be more considerate of how you feel but at the same time, yousaid yourself she has self love issues and mayfeel insecure with herself and if the implants help then so be it. Just hope she doesnt go over board with in.
My wife has them... she got them before we met. But I think you have a right to your opinion, of course, but it's unfair to tell you wife she must accept it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy with the way we look and no one--not even a person's spouse--can understand how a person feels if they are not happy with their appearance. I've had cosmetic surgery myself. And no matter how much people around me would have said, "You look fine!", it didn't matter. I wanted to look and feel good about how I looked. And since there are relatively safe ways to achieve that end, there's no reason why your wife shouldn't go for it. There's little you MUST accept. That's the attitude of the defeatist. Support your wife by telling her you love her the way she is, but you will also support her decision to enhance her body should she so choose. Stop pressuring her... SUPPORT HER!
Honestly I think that you need to think solely about how your wife is feeling. Think about it: Would larger breasts really make her happy? When you say "Self-love issues?" do you mean she isn't happy with herself? Why doesn't she like herself? is it solely because of her body? Maybe she is depressed. Does it run in her family? She should most definitely talk to her doctor first and then maybe a psychologist/psychiatrist because a negative view of one's self is very unhealthy, and that could lead to behavior that she would seek to boost her own confidence. If you two determine she just wants bigger breasts just to have bigger breasts, then go for it, but I would answer the question as to why she is unhappy before you do anything substantial. Good luck I hope it all ends well, I've been through this with 2 girlfriends so I know that you are worried and maybe confused, but sometimes people need help from an outside source =)
You have no idea how this is affecting her. Living the life of a woman who has been taunted for as long as i can remember about my breasts not being as big as they should be has left me a little bitter. I wish i would have done something when I was younger. I believe we should do whatever can make us happy as long as it is in our power. This is one of my regrets not doing anything , it is not your decision , it is her body and she has the right and if you love her you should tell her , you love her the way she is but you will support her decision. Good Luck
Well you kinda have to accept if unless you divorce her. It's her body and you can't really stop her. However I know a lot of couples where the wife got implants (several of the husbands were skeptical) and they love it. Just don't let her go from a AA to a DD or anything. Going up one or two cup sizes is fine though. They look and feel more natural.
She should realize that implants don't look natural, no matter how well performed the surgery is. Also, if it is an under the chest muscle procedure, it means tearing the muscle away from the chest wall and causing a huge gap down the middle, which makes it impossible to create any cleavage. Another thing to consider is that when a woman gets implants, she is signing herself up for a lifetime of surgical procedures because implants have to be replaced periodically and also to fix other potential complications such as shifting and encapsulation. I personally don't understand why some women want large breasts. Not only do large breasts make women look heavier but there are also other problems with having them such as back pain, bra straps digging into the shoulders, not being able to find tops that fit properly, and being unable to find large cup sizes unless they're for fat women. Try wearing a strapless top when you have large breasts. It won't stay up. As soon as you move, the top starts rolling or sliding down. It's annoying to constantly have to pull it up and to tuck the breasts back in.
eh, i understand how that's a tough one. i agree that in a perfect world everyone would accept who they are and feel good about themselves for who and what they are. we aren't though in the 'must accept it' age anymore re physical traits .. hell, it's not even that long ago that was the case.
i think you can fairly express extremely strongly that you love everything about her exactly how she is .. and it sounds a lot like you've already done this strongly. if she really wants this for herself though, and not for you or anyone else, i have to say let her do it.
maybe work out a compromise? get her to put if off for 6 months and really weigh things out with her? if this is something that's been stewing for a couple of years, that's out the window and let her go. if it's something more on the sudden side, it's maybe a topic you can both discuss more fully while putting it off for say, 4 or 6 mo to be very very sure. again, it's about her and how strongly she feels about it - that's the only real barometer. as long as it is thoroughly thought out. it could be that this is something that's mentally dragged her for a long time.
you are free to have your opinion on this subject and to voice it to your wife... but then take in to consideration her happiness. She is not happy with her figure and she has found a solution to her problems.
Talk to her about your worries and concerns and then listen to her. This is her decision, not yours, do not let it ruin your relationship. A women with confidence issues is constantly miserable everytime they buy a top or pass a mirror or see another woman in the street with perfect boobs.
Help her research it and get the bigger picture, she see a different side to things. Your support will mean the world to her, going through something like this in a daily basis is hard but going through surgery and recovery will be even harder.
Do not change your views... just accept hers.
I say let her have them done SHELL HAVE BETTER CONFIDENCE YOU MIGHT HAVE MORE SEX AFTERWARDS DUE TO IT TOO.
As much as you are against it (and me as well) it IS her body.
Support her, and make sure she does her research!
Ask her questions like YOU were the one getting it. Make sure she sees at least three Plastic Surgeons, as well as go with her and ask as many questions as you can think of (whether you think they are stupid or not, asking them will show you are interested and concerned with her well being and health!).
Point her out to this board:
http://www.breasthealthonline.com
There is an excellent FAQ section and support board for those thinking of getting implants and going through the process.
Also make sure she does not go TOO big... she needs to get implants that are proportional to her body.