Am I drinking too much - I have opened a second bottle of red wine tonight/this !
Question: ... I am mourning my brother and nothing else helps.
*None* of my Family or friends understands how I *really* feel - he was my knight in shining armour - and I mean that in a real way both when we were children and adult too - I miss him so much and don't feel safe any more.
Answers: ... I am mourning my brother and nothing else helps.
*None* of my Family or friends understands how I *really* feel - he was my knight in shining armour - and I mean that in a real way both when we were children and adult too - I miss him so much and don't feel safe any more.
Come on now Joan, you know the answer! You are a sensible person normally and deep down you know that the drinking won't help, except in the short term. It's a pain you have to go through and trying to deaden it with alcohol will only delay the grieving process! I'm sure your brother would tell you not to put your own health at risk in this way.
I DO UNDERSTAND I've been there too! When my Brother died I lost the only person I could ever really talk to about the pain I still felt after losing my son. He was the only one who knew that I'd never got over it and that I still had night-mares. He was my 'rock' and my 'anchor' and he still is................... When life hurts I 'talk' to him as if he's there in my head and I knew him well enough to know how he'd reply!
If you can, talk to a grief councillor, or phone the 'Samaritans' they'll help you through it, sometimes a stranger is easier to talk to than family. I know I used to be one!
I feel your pain and wish I could be there to hold your hand, Please if you need to talk remember someone is only an E-mail away!
yes, you are drinking too much. you shouldn't drink to numb your feelings. Go out and talk to people. It sounds as if you need a counselor. That's not an insult-many of us will use the services of a counselor in our lifetimes.
I am really sorry to hear about your brother, alcohol certainly will numb the feelings for a while, but isn't a good alternative in the future as it is addictive and like anything else will wear off and leave you feeling just as bad as before, but I'll have one with you today.
It isn't the amount of alcohol, but the reason you are drinking that much that is the issue. Does that make sense? Grief is a deeply personal thing, since everyone had a different relationship with the deceased--everyone's grief is different. Time will make things better, I promise--the grief will be no less real, but it will be easier for you to deal with. Don't destroy yourself in the interim.
I am sorry for your loss. I had a brother like that and when he died I took it hard. Grief will run its course but the hole he left will never really be filled. You will adjust and you will come through your grief. I found that writing the whole thing out (he was sick for sometime) and putting it on paper helped to get it straight in my head. But it took a while before I was ready to turn all that over and look at it again, but it really helped. You will find the way. Until then, keep-on going. I am sure your brother would not want anything less.
oh wow you are making my heart hurt I'm so sorry about your brother I'm praying for you and your family
Yes, you are drinking too much, control it, now a days medical science has proved that drinking is a kind of disease, which can be cured by medicine and by counselling in anti drug rehabilation cenres.
You know you are drinking too much and will have to stop eventually. Your brother would want you to be happy. Look back on the good times, I know its still raw but time is a great healer. You should speak to a counsellor who will help you through this hard time. Seek comfort from friends and family also. Life will get easier with time I promise, god bless.
Alcohol is not a good way to cope. I used to have somewhat of a drinking problem to help ease some anxiety I had. I didn't drink often. But, when I did drink I DRANK. It has caused me to do some dumb things that could have messed up my life and others big time. It also caused me embarrassment, money, and more from one particular experience. If you are having trouble coping with the loss of your brother, I suggest seeking some sort of counseling.
joan omg
you are mourning do what you have to do , have a drink ,what harm will it do , as i have said before we all deal with grief in different ways , last year i couldn't eat, i felt sick to my stomach ,but a glass or two of wine worked wonders because it made me sleepy and i could forget everything ,it wasn't until morning when i realize the enormity of what happened , but if you feel better even for a few hours go with it xxx
i can tell you are a silly woman, when you already know the answer. my bro also died aged 52 back in 2000 he was a great guy, what i'm trying to say is would he want you like this i'm sure the answer would be no!! go have a chat with someone who knows what there doing, your doc might help point you in the right way, having a drink ?its not the answer it helps for a short time that's all, so try to cut down try doing something else when feeling low, i know it can be hard but if you don't try you will never know?? good luck
I to have a drink every night . 1 or 2 brandys numb the pain a little which is OK .and keeps me off prescribed medication. but when I over step the mark and have more. the pain gets worse and I really regret it. You know your own limitations. as long as you don't feel bad in the morning. What ever gets you through.
It is quite concerning that you are drinking to get over your grief. This is a very bad sign. Please get to a psychiatrist, psychologist, or AA meeting right away. I'm very sorry for your loss and I wish you peace.
some-one is gonna be spitting feathers when they get up[quick hide Joan/s in a moody].you have your plonk girl relax and remember.
Well Joan...you know my answer to that one...lol
Seriously though...if it helps you at the moment...then go with it....but I would think about ringing Cruse..the bereavement councillors....they have helped friends of mine....and give you the chance to talk......
Hello Joan
Some years ago my dad died.I was a single parent and didn't think how my dad's death would affect my kids/grandkids because i was only thinking of myself at the time.
My dad was their rock and anchor as he was the only man around -the one who mended the broken toys -the strong person with big arms who could lift 2 of them up together - the one who took them to the seaside/zoo for the day - the one who babysat so that I could go to work -the one who let them help in the garden etc etc etc- I could go on and on.....
One day , soon after he died , we went up my mum's and I said 'don't mention grandad to nan at the moment , if possible'
Well, as soon as we got there, the little one says 'has grandad gone to Heaven now ?' Mum said 'yes' and then she said 'well, I hope he left me a 20p and some polos !'
She climbed up on the chair and sure enough there was her 20p and a packet of polos !!
That little incident made us all smile and hey-guess what- the whisky bottle came out , we all had a drink and raised a glass to dad and then it went back on the shelf and now only comes out on special occasions.
Soon,I hope you'll find some little thing to lighten your burden and you too will be able to put the wine back in the cupboard and just bring it back out for a' rainy' day.
Merry Christmas to you and your family(but not too merry !)
Do what's needed Joan I did and I promise you, you will stop I did. Bx
Drinking 2 bottles of wine will not bring your brother back. The pain will still be there each and every day. I too lost my brother through Leukaemia, that was 8 yrs ago now and it is still very painful. It always seems worse at this time of year. If you want to talk, you can if you wish contact me via here
Been there joan and if it helps you for now not a problem. You know the the answer yourself that the solution does not lie in the bottom of a bottle but any port in a storm helps in times of trouble and despair. This time of year when most people are in a Happy cheerful mood doesn't help either. Get Christmas over and then in the New Year do as kimmy says contact Cruse they were brillant for my Mum when she lost my Dad.
you are drinking too much,mainly to drown your sorrows,and he wouldnt want you to live this way,live your life as he would have wanted you to,and if there are problems in life,think about it in your head,and you will find you seem to get the strength from somewhere,and it will be him helping you to decide
Trust me Joan the answers not at the bottom of a bottle, grief is hard to deal with, however it is necessary, don't turn to the bottle to much Joan, your problems will only be intensified!