An article for high school girls..does it make sense..can you follow it?!


Question: http://www.helium.com/tm/786921/bacteria...


Answers: http://www.helium.com/tm/786921/bacteria...

It reads quite well but I noticed a couple of things - obviously you can choose to leave them as is or not but ..

You say Thrush discharge doesnt have a smell - I have to disagree with that - its obviously not as offensive as the condition your talking about but it does smell - you might give girls the wrong idea if they have thrush and think its not because there is a smell to the discharge (at least I get a smell when I have it from anti-biotics etc) - I mean it will get them to a Dr hopefully who will make a diagnosis for them but not all will go to the Dr.

The other thing I saw was...

Bacterial infections are more usually caused by bacterial contamination.

This isnt the best grammar you could say...

Bacterial infections are usually caused by bacterial contamination (take out the more)

OK now Im not the best when it comes to punctuation but I think you have used a few too many commas here if you read it out aloud and put a pause at each comma it doesn't sound right...

Sex, on its own, doesn't cause bacterial vaginosis, and neither does having sex with multiple partners. It does increase the risk.

I would say the following and definately take the comma out before the 'and' I believe (again I could be wrong) but and should never follow a comma and take the fullstop after parnters out as a fullstop should mean that your changing off topic a bit wheras this is following on and makes for a funny short sentence instead put a comma and the word however or something like that...

Sex on its own doesn't cause bacterial vaginosis and neither does having sex with multiple partners, it does however increase the risk.

In the last paragraph...

It is easily detected by a doctor and should be tested for if there are any other symptoms suggesting the need for the test.

I would change the and should be tested for if there are any to....

It is easily detected by a doctor and you should be tested if there are any other symptoms suggesting the need for the test.

There were a couple of other (, and) in there but I didnt highlight them as they could be correct (I apologise if Im wrong punctuation was never my strong suit)

I hope this has helped - I found it to be informative and understandable to the lamen :)

OK Spelling check was taking forever (Ive been sitting here for almost 5 minutes so I gave up - so I also apologise for any spelling errors :)

Yes, it makes sense and I was able to follow it.

Why?

Great article. Can you research how under informed women are about their own bodies, pregnancy, periods, etc. and get that published? Perhaps a series explaining what this is all about.
peace

Good article.

A related note, I was at a drug store yesterday and found 2 items I did not know existed:

- A test kit for yeast infection and vaginosis. It's a panty liner you wear for a while, then add a dye and the color tells you if you have a problem and what kind. They also have a toll free 800 number for women to call to discuss results. About $8

- A test kit for UTI (Urinary Tract Infections). Like a preg test, you pee on a strip.

Both of these are neat, at home items that could tell girls if they just have irritation, a yeast infection that can be treated with stuff from the store or a more serious infection that they need to see a Gyno about.





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