First Time Sex Question Revisited :(?!
Question: Few nights ago I asked the following question:
Evening all! Okay lets all the technical stuf out of the way first:
Both old enough - 20 and 23
With the right man,
Believe in sex before marriage and i dont plan on getting married anyway,
Ready and willing,
Got the contraceptives and condoms sorted,
Done the foreplay,
Got the lube.
Getting down to business! LOL
Okay so heres my question. The other night me (virgin) and my bf (not a virgin) tried to have sex in the old missionary position but he couldnt get it in and though it hurting a wee bit, it didnt put me off or make me want to stop trying. I was turned on and relaxed (had a few drinkies before lol) and we'd done foreplay first. Maybe i subconciously i tensed up at the last min making it imposs for him to enter? For the next time we try, if we use lube as well, might it be easier if i was to go on top, that way i can lower myself onto him bit at a time as i get used to it? Or is the missionary position the best way?
Many thanks :) xx
Answers: Few nights ago I asked the following question:
Evening all! Okay lets all the technical stuf out of the way first:
Both old enough - 20 and 23
With the right man,
Believe in sex before marriage and i dont plan on getting married anyway,
Ready and willing,
Got the contraceptives and condoms sorted,
Done the foreplay,
Got the lube.
Getting down to business! LOL
Okay so heres my question. The other night me (virgin) and my bf (not a virgin) tried to have sex in the old missionary position but he couldnt get it in and though it hurting a wee bit, it didnt put me off or make me want to stop trying. I was turned on and relaxed (had a few drinkies before lol) and we'd done foreplay first. Maybe i subconciously i tensed up at the last min making it imposs for him to enter? For the next time we try, if we use lube as well, might it be easier if i was to go on top, that way i can lower myself onto him bit at a time as i get used to it? Or is the missionary position the best way?
Many thanks :) xx
Lol..you may have just a natural reaction to clench up down there..turned on a realaxed...doesnt sound like it...using condoms lube and trying to make it happen is not relaxing...your bf may feel under pressure...ask him? Missionary is best...try msturbating more maybe and explore what your bits are up to if havent already..:-)
At least you seem to be in good humour about it...sex shouldnt be taken too seriously...especially with the right person...so you doing ok.
Common problem.
Are you using the correct orifice?
ur tensin wit out realisin it u go on top relax and work it in ie up down up down just relax take ya time its all in ur head tats why ya muscle tensing even i do it
Are you sure you know what you're doing? Maybe this guy, isn't for you.
Vaginal tension is very common, its usually caused by being frightened, worried or apprehensive. The vaginal walls contract and its almost impossible to continue without pain or discomfort. As its your first time, its probably just apprehension, I would suggest you just keep doing what you're doing but, don't try to make it happen. Make the most of the foreplay and have fun. It'll happen when your mind and body are ready to let it happen.
Have fun and let us know if it all goes well.
Just the'went well' part, though. No details necessary.lol.
you should go see the Doctor because there may be something causing the problem re; whatever way works is okay just do not put to much into it but first fine out if there is something wrong sometimes there is & the Doctor can fix it for you take care
did he have erection. because if he did well there got to be some thing seriously wrong. but as you said you were tensed up. and still were when he tried to enter you. so the problem lies with you am afraid. you need to get yourself checked out.
why not have a few practice runs with a toy (seriously) just to get your vagina used to it. Cause after awhile your bf might get a bit tired and frustrated with it not working....
how about when u masturbate ? I presume your hymen is broke ?
try using a dildo
1) MUST use the lube.
2) Missionary would probably be easiest, but you can try being on top and see if it works. You can also try having him enter from behind (also called doggie-style).
Sounds like you might not be getting enough from the foreplay. Your vagina isn't used to having things larger than a finger inserted. He will have to use some... er... force (isn't an appropriate word, but...) or use more than one finger. Either that, or you two are going to need to try using a small toy (vibrator, dildo.. you know...) to get things stimulated enough to allow penetration. Also, his penis needs to be erect. A penis that is only semi-erect will absolutely not work. Maybe try manual and oral stimulation at the same time (for both parties) to get you both ready.
I know this is an embarassing subject to ask. I'm hoping for the best for you two.
Subcounsciously you may still be really anxious and no amount of positive relaxing thinking will help.
Id suggest go to your doc and ask to see a sex therapist or someone like that as your brain seems to be telling you're body you are either not ready or you are scared maybe of pregancy.
Either way if you cant manage it (keep practising) go ask for some help, you dont wanna miss out just because you didnt ask for help!