Help please, desperta!!?!
Question: Help please, I am desperate?
Alright here I go, My parents are divorced and have been since I was about three years old. As of right now I live with my father and his new wife (my stepmom) along with my half sister. My mother does not pay child support and at the moment I am being penalized for it. My step mom and my father do not let me have or do anything because they say "We do not have any money for you because, your mom does not give it to us," yet they pay nearly $600 dollers a month so that my half sister can go to a private school! I get blamed for everything and do everything for them and nothing is enough. I have to fight for the simpilest thing and everything is my fault since my mother does not pay child support. And like if he has a problem shouldn't he take that up with my mom, not me? Why is it I can't have a cell phone, a few dollers here and there to go to the movies, just because of her??? But my half sister does just cause she has both her parents in the house?? What should I do??
Answers: Help please, I am desperate?
Alright here I go, My parents are divorced and have been since I was about three years old. As of right now I live with my father and his new wife (my stepmom) along with my half sister. My mother does not pay child support and at the moment I am being penalized for it. My step mom and my father do not let me have or do anything because they say "We do not have any money for you because, your mom does not give it to us," yet they pay nearly $600 dollers a month so that my half sister can go to a private school! I get blamed for everything and do everything for them and nothing is enough. I have to fight for the simpilest thing and everything is my fault since my mother does not pay child support. And like if he has a problem shouldn't he take that up with my mom, not me? Why is it I can't have a cell phone, a few dollers here and there to go to the movies, just because of her??? But my half sister does just cause she has both her parents in the house?? What should I do??
It sounds like you have a very toxic family situation. Your father and stepmother should not be "penalizing" you for the actions of your mother. Your father helped to bring you into the world, and he is just as responsible for your welfare as your mother is. Nor should they be playing favorites with your sister. You also sound very depressed, and need more than just a cellphone and movie money to straighten out your situation. I think your whole family could do with some counseling. You mention that 'as of right now' you live with your father. I presume that this always hasn't been the case, and that previously you lived with your mother or another relative. Lack of a cellphone and movie money is not your real problem. Your real problem is the fact that you feel like you are not part of the family, and that you feel your sister receives preferential treatment. Additionally, if your father and step mother are really saying things like 'we can't help you because your mom is not supporting you' makes you feel like you're not wanted in the household and it's not good for your self-esteem.
I would ask your school counselor about how you can get some help for your family to resolve these issues before they split your family apart. Other than that, your father does have the law on his side to get the back child support from your mother, so instead of blaming you for the situation, perhaps he should be looking in to the courts to get her wages garnished.
Paying child support is the law and you should have them take your mom to court, or you can write a heartfelt letter to your mother and explain the circumstances.
Your dad cannot deprive you like that just because his ex doesn't pay child support.
You're half his anyway.
I think what your dad and step mom's doing is WRONG. totally unfair. i dont think you should get blamed at all. Why dont you live with your mom? Like the first answerer: child support is the law. Your mom can be sued or penalized
your Step-Mother and Father are acting immature. It is not your fault your Mom isn't paying support...it's not even any of your business. Parents should not take adult problems and put it on a child ever! I would ask them why they think punishing you is the answer, do they think that's going to get them their support??
I don't know your situation,but could living with your Mom be better?
first i would set them both down and have a heart to heart talk-- let it out an don't hold back-- let em' know exactly how you feel and that to a girl your age it really hurts and disappoints you-- it's tough enough to just go thru the teen years much less having to put up with a double standard-- talk to a friend or a teacher just don't bottle it up and dwell on it-- sounds like they need a wake up call-- i pray you do set them down and talk to them-- just maybe it'll help-- if it don't well you let them know how you feel-- i assume you have talked to them in some manner already-- but i mean a real heart felt tear jerking in your face kinda talk that gets things done-- may GOD bless and wish you well ..pss---don't give up if at first you don't suceed-- it's a shame anybody has to put up with a double standard-- when it's coming from people like father or mother it can have an ever lasting effect-- good luck
Sit your father down and explain to him how this is effecting you, and will effect your self esteem. He's using you to get back at your Mother and in turn hope's she'll pay support, out of guilt. In the meantime, I recommend getting a part time job, & buying your own stuff. Look after yourself, if no-one else is going to, anyway thats what you have to do eventually. So its good life training - Its not fair, but life ain'nt fair. Good Luck