I need help! My mom just recently went through surgery for cervical cancer...?!
Question: They took everything out, her ovaries, and other things. Now she takes hormones but they make her feel bad. She says that she is really depressed. Do women really feel that bad after going through a surgery like that? I mean, her surgery was about a year ago but she says she is not the same person anymore. I just want to know if women really do feel really bad after that.The doctors told her she'd be fine but I want to to know if she's exagerating?
Answers: They took everything out, her ovaries, and other things. Now she takes hormones but they make her feel bad. She says that she is really depressed. Do women really feel that bad after going through a surgery like that? I mean, her surgery was about a year ago but she says she is not the same person anymore. I just want to know if women really do feel really bad after that.The doctors told her she'd be fine but I want to to know if she's exagerating?
No, she's not exaggerating. Many women have trouble finding the right hormonal combination that works for them. Most doctors don't understand this, and just prescribe the same thing for everybody and then just blame the victim (the woman herself) for her problems, when it's really the wrong hormone combination. I very very highly recommend that your mother check out this internet discussion group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/SGS...
The advice there will help her to take charge and find the right types of hormones. There are dozens of different types, but doctors generally just prescribe Premarin, which is one of the oldest (and usually one of the worst) types to use. They also have a web page: http://surmeno.blogspot.com/2006/07/tabl...
Please please please encourage her to go there and read the materials. This is solid information that will help her incredibly. I know exactly what she's feeling now since I went through the same thing. There's no reason for her to suffer anymore. Solutions are out there!
Email me for the info!
A lot of women equate their female parts with their attractiveness and their usefulness so they feel like they've lost something when they lose these. You might consider suggesting she talk to someone to help her get over these feelings and move past it. Try to be understanding.
Do you remember when you hit puberty and all of a sudden you had hormones and you became a teenager? You were moody, felt awkward, not sure where you belonged, etc. She's going through an even more severe form of that only she's lost her hormones. Plus, if she's not that old she's mourning the loss of her ability to be youthful and bear children. Also, her lack of those hormones is actually affecting the way her brain functions, she will be different now. She may need to see a councilor or join a support group so she can talk to someone about it. Try being supportive and quit telling her to get over it, that's not helping.
Since your mother lives in her body, not her doctors, I'd tend to take her word for how she feels. The physical trauma of surgery, as well as the anesthetics, can have a depressing effect on one's chemistry. Sudden loss of hormone producing organs can also have the same effect. Hormone replacement therapy can never be as good as the real thing.
I think you should be supportive of your mother. She's going through a rough time, and the last thing she needs is to have someone she loves belittling what she's experiencing. Some day you might be in your mother's position. How would you want your daughter to treat you?
It might be a good idea for your mother to find a new doctor, preferably a woman, but certainly someone who will treat her with respect.
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