Why does it hurt/burn when I have sex with my boyfriend? (even when I use lube)?!


Question: My boyfriend of five years moved half way across the country, so we're in a long distance relationship. In the past, whenever we were apart and I'd visit him, we'd have great sex.

However, the last two times we've had sex, even though I've used a TON of KY, it hurts/burns. We've tried different positions but it's so uncomfortable.

We just had sex and I'm burning/itching down there.

When I visited him two months ago and we had sex, it hurt very badly. I went to the doctor and it turned out I had vaginitis.

Please help. Boyfriend is very sad because he thinks I'm not into him anymore.


Answers: My boyfriend of five years moved half way across the country, so we're in a long distance relationship. In the past, whenever we were apart and I'd visit him, we'd have great sex.

However, the last two times we've had sex, even though I've used a TON of KY, it hurts/burns. We've tried different positions but it's so uncomfortable.

We just had sex and I'm burning/itching down there.

When I visited him two months ago and we had sex, it hurt very badly. I went to the doctor and it turned out I had vaginitis.

Please help. Boyfriend is very sad because he thinks I'm not into him anymore.

You need to get back to the doctor. It's very common to have/get vaginitis again. In addition, often one can get a yeast infection following the antibiotics for vaginitis, because the flora in the vagina is disrupted (think ecology). Sometimes it can take a while for all this to resolve, so tell the boyfriend to be patient (and be inventive...).

Your use of the term "burning" suggests you might (also) have a urinary tract infection. Even a low-grade one can make sex miserable. I'd get it checked.

Someone else suggested you might be allergic to KY, or it might be further upsetting the flora. You could also be allergic to your soap, your detergent, etc. If you are in the US, you could try Basis soap--it's very mild. Avoid scents, sprays, douches, etc.

Finally, there is a condition called "vulvodynia," which is a condition in which sex (and sitting and bike-riding) just hurts! I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you have it, but you might look at the following website; in the middle of the page there are a set of suggestions about how to keep your vagina from getting irritated. I think they're wrong when they suggest vaseline, but otherwise the advice is good.

You might try another form of lubricant, you could be allergic to KY.

i think your boyfriend has cheated on you and gave you a std go get checked out by the doctor again

You might have developed a yeast infection or vaginitis..go back to your doctor and at least make sure he hasnt given you a STD

it could be the ky causing irritation. or, you might have some type of infection,like a yeast infection. its wise to go to see your obgyn





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