Sex drive after having a baby?!
Question: Since having my baby over 7 months ago i have completley lost interest in sex - if i never had it again it wouldn't bother me.
My husband is really understanding and has been great about it- he has put it down to the fact that i am still breastfeeding.
But i feel it is affecting our relationship even though he doesn't.
When we do try i am very dry and not turned on - the first attempts were quite painful although it is getting better with time.
before having baby - sex was always painful because of a medical condition - which has since been sorted.
so what can i do about it?
Answers: Since having my baby over 7 months ago i have completley lost interest in sex - if i never had it again it wouldn't bother me.
My husband is really understanding and has been great about it- he has put it down to the fact that i am still breastfeeding.
But i feel it is affecting our relationship even though he doesn't.
When we do try i am very dry and not turned on - the first attempts were quite painful although it is getting better with time.
before having baby - sex was always painful because of a medical condition - which has since been sorted.
so what can i do about it?
Is this your first child? After having my first baby, I didn't even want my husband in the same bed with me, let alone even LOOKING at me like he wanted sex! Part of it's physical, part of it's psychological. Although I had an easy pregnancy and birth, it seemed to take forever to heal from the birth. I now know a big part of that was inactivity. I wasn't working, had no other children. My husband and I are fairly neat, so there was very little housework to be done. Other than tending to the baby's needs, I had very little to do. Now, I've three kids. With the middle and third child, I was working, had other children to tend to, had children's school activities and other obligations. I got back on my feet REAL quick and my body began to heal fairly quickly.
Of course the first few attempts after giving birth are going to be painful. That part of your body was very traumatized! All your female parts have been poked, prodded, swollen...... After having my first, in the back of my mind was, "Nuh Auh. You ain't gonna get me to go through THAT again, Buddy, don't EVEN think about coming near me." Sounds like you've never really been able to enjoy sex if you've had a previous medical condition..... That, on top of having the baby, is a lot to overcome..... It may take some time. I didn't really begin enjoying sex again for a year or so after my first child. Be glad you've an understanding husband. Mine was, and I'm thankful for that. If it really begins to cause a problem for you, talk to your doctor or a counselor.
Good luck!
You might go to the doctor and talk this over. Their could be some inbalance going on. GOOD LUCK!!
maybe you and your husband should try to spice things up. Get a babysitter. Enjoy yourselves with no distractions- go out for dinner, go see a movie, a comedy show. Don't go home, go to a NICE hotel. Then set the mood, a nice bath(big enough for the two of you)right lighting, candles, soft music, etc. Or a few sex toys might jump start your sex drive and his. Good luck
maybe when you had the baby you realized how powerful sex is and that it could quite possibly be more than just a fun time but and amazing tool to creating life for you and your partner. if he understands the situation maybe he wont mind going slow for you so you can take it easy. that would be the nice thing to do.
hi my sex drive slowed right down after having babies also and i also breastfeed, there is nothing wrong with you.....I have read about this when i was feeding and is often the case with breastfeeding mums due to hormonal changes because you are feeding a baby and it is tiring having a baby also..you probably might not have periods during the breastfeeding either..i didnt until my babies were about 10 mths old. Things will get better as bub gets older. As for the vaginal dryness try using the lubricants you get at the chemist for that purpose..they make it much more enjoyable..and helps to fulfil hubby's desires of wanting you...hope this has been useful..??
can i just ask are you on any contraception if so then it could be that, I went on the depo provera injection and it ruined my life and i also experienced loss of interest in sex but if your not it could just be that your still getting over having a baby i took me a while to tell you the truth my son is 2 years in july this year and im still getting over it, I was the same dont worry about it it will soon go away. but if your still really concerned go see your doctor or nurse and talk to them. Hope this helps.
You must feel really down, I'm so sorry you are having trouble. I am sure that having a baby would put me off penetrative sex for life, not to mention the uncomfrotable time you were having before preganancy. You must feel like you have been very exposed by the experience of giving birth and just want to curl up inside yourself and never have anything happen down there again! That's how I would feel anyway.
However, you could try different types of sex that don't involve penetration such as oral sex. If you don't feel comfortable with your husband seeing your genitals, then try having a light cover or towel over both of you when he goes down on you. Go down on him as often as you can. This is great fun for both of you and puts no pressure on you to be turned on. You can read up on different techniques to use when you give him oral sex so it's fun and exciting for you both. This should help you both have orgasms and you might feel better about having full sex again with time when you have forgotten the experience of giving birth and your gentials are healed.
I hope this helps, good luck!
Instead of jumping right into sex try foreplay first. Also try setting the mood dinner, movie, candles, maybe take a shower together, etc. Sometimes certain smells will trigger it so maybe try some scented body oils. As for being dry lots of women are after having a baby, buy some KY from the store and see if that helps.
I understand exactly what you are saying and I was like this for 4 years until I realized that I needed to explore other options b/c sex is important in a marriage no matter how you slice it and at times I'd just have sex with him just to shut him up. Neither one of us was happy and then finally I explored different options and realized what I liked before, just didn't do it for me anymore, I got into other things---perhaps you need to explore a few eroticisms and see what works for you b/c it truly hasn't died inside of you, things have just changed.
Good luck!