Pregnant and I need help! Please please please- serious answers only!?!
Question: So I just found out that I'm pregnant and I'm really stuck on what to do. First, I am very against abortions but am only 17 and finishing my senior year in high school. Having a baby would really mess up my life. Second, is that my parents are religious control freaks, especially my dad, and there is no possible way I could tell them. So my question is- that if i decide to have an abortion, can I get one without them knowing? And if the answer is no because I'm not legal, then can I go with an older sibling of the age 26?
Answers: So I just found out that I'm pregnant and I'm really stuck on what to do. First, I am very against abortions but am only 17 and finishing my senior year in high school. Having a baby would really mess up my life. Second, is that my parents are religious control freaks, especially my dad, and there is no possible way I could tell them. So my question is- that if i decide to have an abortion, can I get one without them knowing? And if the answer is no because I'm not legal, then can I go with an older sibling of the age 26?
In some places you can have an abortion done without parental permission, yes. You would have to check that out with the clinic where you would have the procedure done for the skinny on that. Then of course, you have to talk who's going to pay for the procedure, because it's not free. And finally, who is going to see you through the aftermath? You say you have feelings against abortions, and you will have those same feelings after having one- no matter what you tell yourself beforehand. Pregnancy is not just in your uterus, it's in your entire body and mind. You need support afterwards as well. I think your parents might not be extremely pleased to hear the news, but they might be your best advocates in finding an answer to your delemna as well. You can always put the baby up for adoption at birth you know. There are lists of people who are just waiting for a baby to love, who can care for it as you would want. If you can't face telling Dad alone, enlist the help of the elder sibling, and tell Mom first, then Dad. It's a serious trouble to be sure, but before you opt to do something drastic, you really should speak with them first. You aren't the first girl to make this mistake, you won't be the last. Your life is not over, it's just taking a turn. Your parents still love you, and once the dust clears and the shock is over with, they will be the ones best to help you with this.
17 u should be able to. Yes you can go with an older sibling.
depends on what state you live in. I know in CA, you can get one without parental consent if you are underage, but they must be notified 48 hours before the procedure.
just talk to your parents. they will have to know eventually. they might be more accepting than you think. if not, try even talking to a friend's parent. good luck.
It actually depends on the state I think whether or not you can go as a minor without parental consent.
planned parenthood,, yes they will do it without parental consent
--but have your sister take you itll make things more comfortable
but
since the laws and all have been changed and theyre trying to make abortion illeagal and or needing parental consent
you might have difficulty
i hope evreything goes well,,
man dont kill the kid =[ just deal with it i know tons of baby pregnant while in school and most of them still grauduted even my girl i got her pregnant and she's going for her g.e.d instead so try to find alternatives dont kill ur kid...imagine if it was you =[
You must not be very serious about being against abortion if you said "but" after that sentence. The only way that you can get one without your parents really knowing would be going through someone like Planned Parenthood. I don't always condone lying, so there has to be a way to tell your parents even if they are religious control freaks. That's what they believe in and they have a strong faith.
Maybe just write out something kind of like a speech, practice it, give out BOTH your points of view AND your parents' and maybe there's something that you guys as a family can get through together.
If worse comes to worse, Planned Parenthood is ALWAYS there for you if you need to talk out choices. They're so great with that. I really hope you can figure something out. Good luck sweet :-).
First, you are finishing your senior year of high school, so you will be done with school before you are really showing too much (see, it's not at the beginning of school at least.)
Second, you should not consider abortion. You said yourself that you are against it. If your parents are religious freaks they would be more against abortion than premarital sex, trust me.
Third, your parents love you and want you to have the very best life possible. They might be upset at first, but they want to help you.
Fourth, there are so many couples who are unable to have children and they would be so happy to have yours. Please, if you can't see yourself keeping a baby right now, bless someone else's life with one. You will be an angel to them forever!
It seems scary, but you can handle it. Just take a deep breath and move forward!
I don't think you can go as your older sister as they will require id and pretending to be your sister can constitute as fraud and identity theft
i believe the only way to get an abortion is with your parent or legal guardian PRESENT. So, whatever you decide to do, you will have to tell your parents about it. I'm sorry
Good Luck though, and Congrats. It's a miracle what you are going through.
It depends on the state you live in since you're 17, you probably could go alone. Take your sibling with you. Did you ever think about Adoption? I'm not trying to judge here but there may be other options. I understand you don't want to mess up your plans but you could even have and open Adoption. You should tell your parents the truth they may support you. Good luck with everything, whatever you choose.
You need to talk to your parents...If they are as religious as you say, they will be more upset if you abort it then they would be if you just came out and were honest with them....If you do not want to keep the baby you do not have to there are so many people out there that would love to have a child but can not, but talk to your mom....I was there once. I was 16, (now i am 26) so I can not say anything about your age, I can however understand what you are going through, and I promice it is not going to ruin your life...It might make it a little harder, but I love my babies, and I do not know where I would be without them.......I really have been there, if you want to talk, please email me. I would really be glad to talk with you about this!
no, no way u need to be at least 18 to go on your own.....but really think about wat u want to do before u tell them and not to rush u, but the sooner the better i had a baby when i was 16 and it did not mess up my life, i like to actually think she saved it....and she continues to drive me to do better in life....i also had an abortion when i was 17 years old and i also think that for the time in my life i made the right decision...but it really messes with ur head....so just make sure that watever you decide that u make the decision that's right FOR YOU and ONLY you....not ur parents not ur boyfriend or whoever it is that got u pregnant but YOU.... and if ur parent's are good parents and they are really as religious as u say, they will love and support u through watever you decide.... mine did, and they love my daughter more than they love me now..lol
but seriously, keep ur head up, learn from your mistakes and remember to smile!
Well... it depends on what state you live in. Some require parental consent if you are under 18. You can check the laws for that online using google. If I were you I would tell your parents before you do anything. My dad is a pastor, and I know that he would want me to tell him before I did anything. If they are religious freaks then they will most likely be 100% against you getting an abortion, especially if they find out about it later. This is something that is very serious and can rip your family apart. Your parents will be disappointed in you at first, but they still love you, and if they believe in God then they know that God forgives, and they will forgive you too. Enlist the support of your older sibling, visit a pregnancy crisis center close to you. The pregnancy crisis center can give you counseling for free, help you tell your parents, and help you decide what is best for you and your baby. I also hope that the father knows. This is also an important decision for him. One of my friends had an abortion and hadn't told anyone she was pregnant. Her boyfriend was devestated - he was so upset that she didn't tell him. He didn't know if the outcome would have been the same had she told him, but he most defenitely would have wanted to know.
Good luck sweetie, and know that I am praying for you!
so im not trying to judge you and your old enough to make your own decision but why kill a child because it would ruin your life the baby didnt ask for this to happen you had sex it doesnt make it right....i wish people would realize that birth control is there for a reason i could not imagine killing my baby hes so innocent and has done nothing wrong i just dont understand how people can be so selfish hes not even here yet and hes already my world
Do you have a clue what you are asking? You do not just try to figure out a convenient way to end the life of a child! Ask your Mother what she would have done to end your life, because it was an inconvenient!
It's way too late for, "But I''m only"!
I was 17 when I had my first child. She is now 10 and the light of my world. She was a blessing and never was considered a mistake even though I was young, not out of school, not a planned pregnancy and was not married until half way through my pregnancy. It is amazing what can happen when you change your perspective and start to see a human life for its value and not it's potential responsibility.
Please don't kill your baby, honey. I have been where you are. 14 years ago, I was pregnant out of wedlock. The hardest thing I had to do was tell my mom. I must have sat there in silence...the words just wouldn't come out....I had a couple from my church with me to help. I would recommend that.
I decided after talking to a friend who had just done this, to place my baby for adoption. I went to Nebraska Children's Home and talked to a counselor. The more I found out, the more comfortable I was. I learned thru that journey that placing my baby for adoption wasn't running from my responsibility to raise my baby, but rather TAKING RESPONSIBILITY to give him the life I was unable to.
I chose his parents. We had the same faith and a lot in common. I have met with them a few times throughout his life and this has helped with closure. It was the wisest decision I have ever made and the bravest! And, I have NEVER regreted it!
It doesn't take courage to suck your baby into a sink. You will meet that baby one day. God has a special place for aborted baby who could have completed a family. And you know it is a legalized and barbaric act of murder. God created this child for a reason. Maybe for another couple who cannot have children, but pray every night for one.
The waiting list is so long for couple waiting for a baby. Don't waist this opportunity to bring joy to a family. If your parents don't support you, then somone else will! But, when all is said and done, your parents will look at you with proud eyes that you bravely walked this hard, but right road. Instead of shame that you got pregnant and sucked that baby girl or boy into a sink!
You have one chance to do the right thing. I pray you do!
You say having a baby would really mess up your life, but maybe not having it would really mess it up too.
You would always think of it, like "How old would my baby be now" (if I had decided to have it).
How can you be sure you would regret having it? You are only 17 and your opinion may change with time.
You also mention your parents and that they are religious - again your opinion on this will change. By the time you are in your twenties, you won't really care so much what your parents think of you, so I wouldn't even consider that a factor.
That being said, if they are so religious, how would they feel about abortion? And if you choose to never tell them, that is some kind of ball and chain you will carry to keep that secret for your whole life.
Based on this, my opinion would be to consider keeping your baby. I know it is your choice and every woman must make her choice. I would just hate to see you live your life with painful regrets. I hope whatever you decide works out well for you.
All the best,
Sweetleaf
Number one, I would not get an abortion. You would be surprised if you just went and talked to your parents. I was raised by a preacher and my mother is a very good christian and when my sister ended up pregnant they handled it better than I thought. Your parents will always love you know matter what,there are so many people in the world who would love to raise your baby and even let you be in the babies life but if you get an abortion it never goes away and you will always wonder what that baby would have been like. My niece was in your situation and had an abortion now she is older and never can get over the abortion every time she looks at her son. Trust me your parents may be mad at first but when reality sets in you might get a surprise on how they react. Do not do anything until at least you talk to your parents. If you have a problem talking to your parents talk to your preacher or giudance counsler. You still can get an education if not a school diploma a ged. Please at least talk to your parents abortion is forever and I do not care what people for abortion say it will stay with you forever.
I pray that you will not get an abortion. My sister got pregnant last year and seriously considered it until the very last days possible her 'significant other' left her as soon as he found out and was trying to come up with the money even though he wasn't with her until those last days. But she couldn't come up with the money and didn't have it done and when she finally saw her baby on the ultrasound image she cried and knew she couldn't get rid of it - she couldn't kill it, that she'd made that child and it was her blood, new life inside of her. As it grew inside of her and she saw it kick she smiled like I'd never seen her smile and now that her little baby is here. She can't imagine her life without her, she'd NEVER wanted kids in the first place, and never would have had them if it weren't for this little slip. She was just out of school, a very good girl, my mom is religious, but it's all worked out, people accepted it because it was too late. People will accept you pregnant more than they will accept you having an abortion. Listen, if it was or wasn't made out of love, I think you need to keep it because the trauma that will be caused on your heart will never go away, the guilt will drive you into nowhere but a negative hole. There are plenty of people out there that are there to support you, don't care what other people think, and just pray your parents will support you. They will more than likely be very angry and disappointed in you but just tell them that you are taking responsibility for your actions and you are going to keep it no matter how hard it is. Email me okay, please. I'm here for you. Everything's going to be fine - don't do anything rash, please.