She said it hurt at first when i put it in?!
Question: This past weekend me and my GF had sex. I gave her oral first as fore play and then sex. we have been very sexually active. So after the sex we relaxed and i went home. I was texting her about the sex which was good. but she told me that it hurt her when i first put it in. So why would it hurt? Im just over 6in in lenght and around 4.75"-5.25" in girth not sure i havent measured (average or above avarage). And after a while she said it was feeling great. Im just curious why on that first penatration? She has said it hurt before but not like that
Answers: This past weekend me and my GF had sex. I gave her oral first as fore play and then sex. we have been very sexually active. So after the sex we relaxed and i went home. I was texting her about the sex which was good. but she told me that it hurt her when i first put it in. So why would it hurt? Im just over 6in in lenght and around 4.75"-5.25" in girth not sure i havent measured (average or above avarage). And after a while she said it was feeling great. Im just curious why on that first penatration? She has said it hurt before but not like that
I would first of all ask her why she did not tell you that it hurt, for most women experiencing pain during sex, there are solutions, more than that any kind of sex shouldn't be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.
Unfortunately though many women feel they can't tell their partners when it hurts, they feel they cannot tell partners what they like or when it is not working for them - don't take it personally, it's a self-esteem thing that most girls/women can fall victim to, it's a whole complex body-issue, social taboo surrounding women and sex, sort of thing.
Chances are it hurt her because she was not aroused enough, when a woman is aroused her vagina lubricated itself, her muscles relax and her vagina lengthens to allow for penetration (as well as other changes like her clitoris getting erect, of course). What you need to remember is that only around 30% of women actually orgasm through penetrative sex alone, simply our bodies aren't made to get off on that alone, we need stimulation in many different ways to enjoy sex. Although remember too much foreplay may leave her oversensitive so uncomfortable to touch, unable to get aroused straight afterward just like men cannot perform for a while straight after orgasm, or leave her vulva irritated which could cause her pain.
Although you did have foreplay with her perhaps it was not enough, think about how long you may want to have sex and compare it to how much foreplay you have with her, is it enough? Did she actually orgasm? Remember if she did not tell you about the pain she may not be honest about orgasm, just faking to avoid upsetting you.
Better still encourage her to tell you what she enjoys, tell you when she is ready, it is easier said than done with some girls/women, but if you care about her you will try, besides better sex for her also means better sex for you. Take your time, show you care and are willing to put the effort in to help her learn how to express herself better during sex not just to avoid pain but also to enjoy it more.
Your penis size means jack - to be blunt - we can argue the size debate until we are blue in the face, size obviously does matter (or else we wouldn't have XXX sized dildos, sorry guys) but FAR more important than size is what you do with it - really. You're not small that's for sure, but even if you were then you may still hurt her if she is not ready to be penetrated. It's not about your size, it's about her.
There can be other factors as well of course, vaginismus is a common problem, it's a spasm of the vaginal muscles caused mainly by a fear of being hurt - some women actually expect sex to be painful, not just the first time, or first few times, but every time, thus why she may not have brought it to your attention before. The longer you go allowing her to be in pain from sex the worse this problem will get as the more she will be scared that penetration will hurt her.
Some infections can cause pain, STI's are one factor but it could be a simple yeast or bacterial infection that could be causing her irritation on penetration. When was her last STI check or exam? For that matter, when was yours?
She may have felt aroused but not have been lubricated enough, at certain points of a girls/womans menstrual cycle her discharge/lubrication can be limited or even non-existent. She may have felt she was ready for sex (although, the fact she has said it has hurt previously suggests something else going on) but not realized that she was actually not well lubricated. I have a friend who is a sexologist, seriously that is her actual job, who says there is never a situation when lube won't make sex more enjoyable - so more lube the better. Get some KYJelly, you can get some pretty fun tingling lubrication now (hint:I'm told this is great to use when she is giving you a hand job), or use something natural and easy to get a hold of such as olive oil which is perfectly safe to use.
There is a great web site, that I seem to be adding to many of my answers today, they have a fantastic article on painful sex which also includes information for you to help her. It's really worth you reading - http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/f...
Maybe she wasnt wet enough. Obviously this wasnt her first time then, right? It could be a yeast infection or something. Does she have any other symptoms?
well i just had sex the other day with my now to call ex (we were together at tha time) but it hurt when he put it in me too...its because maybe she hadnt had sex for a while and that could do it...or maybe the other persons answer is better...she might not have been wet enough!
Arousal can effect how easy penetration is. Its possible that he arousal level unexpectedly dropped slightly would would make sex uncomfortable/painful for a few moments until her state of arousal when back up. (Arousal relaxes the vaginal walls and lengthens the vagina.)
Not wet enough, try using KY jelly or vaseline
Yeah, she probably just wasn't naturally lubed up enough. Could you tell if she was genuinely turned on by her actions/words, like was she enthusiastic? If she wasn't really, then she might not have been that aroused - even if she wanted to be/thought she was, her body might not have been. And that can happen for various reasons, like if she was stressed or her mind was preoccupied with something else, like school, work, or family/friend issues. Maybe she was coming down with a cold or getting over one. Having a yeast infection can make sex painful since her vagina and vulva area are irritated to begin with, and the friction from sex can make it raw and sore. Alcohol - even hours after you've stopped drinking it - can dry her out and make it harder to get in.
But more than likely it was just her body playing tricks on her. Women get different amounts and consistensies of their lubrication depending on the time of the month aside from what she produces during arousal. Like right after she finishes her period she's probably pretty dry for the first week or so, leaving it completely up to being turned on to make her wet. During ovulation she's probably pretty wet anyway, which is GREAT lol. If she's on birth control, she might tend to be dryer in general or have a harder time getting turned on b/c it can put a damper on her sex drive for some women.
Who knows! Sometimes these things happen. I've had it happen to me for no apparent reason. But as long as the pain goes away after a few minutes, then you two have nothing to worry about.
If that was her first time having sex meaning she was a virgin before that, then of course it would hurt. It hurt me the first time i had sex. Her vagina isn't used to being stretched out to fit a penis inside it and that hurt her. But after awhile the pain would subside and start to become enjoyable. After the first time, sex would become more enjoyable. Good luck!
i know everyone is saying she wasn't wet enough it sounds sensible but maybe she was still sore from last time or she might be fighting an infection and her wall were weak. but if she was infected you probably would've noticed cause it makes down there smell and taste gross. She might be sensitive cause her period is near. It should be fine next time!!