Confused...Someone help please...?!


Question: I'm a 20 year old female college student, and I'm currently sexually attracted to an older woman. I've had several boyfriends, and am definitly attracted to men; but I've never felt this way towards a woman before, let alone someone who is potentially 10 years older than I am. I cannot go a day without thinking about her in a sexual manner... I am way too shy to EVER act on this way I am feeling, and only felt this way about my ex bf. The bigger problem, she's one of my teachers. I admire and respect her, she's been a mentor to me, but this feeling I have bothers me. Is it normal to feel sexually attracted to someone whom I trust alot with alot of my personal issues (rape, sexual abuse, and self-injury)? And am I feeling this way simply because of the admiration I have towards her or the desire to be like her (I want to teach, and consider her to be what I would like to do after university), or is something really wrong with me? I just don't know what's going on inside my mind...


Answers: I'm a 20 year old female college student, and I'm currently sexually attracted to an older woman. I've had several boyfriends, and am definitly attracted to men; but I've never felt this way towards a woman before, let alone someone who is potentially 10 years older than I am. I cannot go a day without thinking about her in a sexual manner... I am way too shy to EVER act on this way I am feeling, and only felt this way about my ex bf. The bigger problem, she's one of my teachers. I admire and respect her, she's been a mentor to me, but this feeling I have bothers me. Is it normal to feel sexually attracted to someone whom I trust alot with alot of my personal issues (rape, sexual abuse, and self-injury)? And am I feeling this way simply because of the admiration I have towards her or the desire to be like her (I want to teach, and consider her to be what I would like to do after university), or is something really wrong with me? I just don't know what's going on inside my mind...

I don't think that's unusual at all. You obviously have all these feelings for this woman: affection, trust, admiration, etc., so in your mind maybe that just all adds up to attraction. Try to sit down and sort out the feelings you're having about her--write out a list if you have to. If you can't figure out where your feelings are coming from, maybe you're legitimately bisexual, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you feel like you need to talk to someone, most college campuses have a "counseling and consulation" center (or something like that) where you can talk to a professional for not too much money.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

its really unusual, but not so complicated. try to divert ur mind in other area. if not possible and hard to ignore that, try to tell her directly. it would really be helpful. u know sometimes, it happens that u can get wht u want and tht stop ur hunger. i m not encouraging u towards homosexuality but may be u can learn things from her too...

It is because of your admiration for her. You have a feeling to know her inside out. If she also feels the same way, you can go ahead.

It's not abnormal at all and there could be many explanations. You could be attracted to her power, her intelligence or just having someone to trust. If she is your teacher than def. don't act on it until you are out of school, by this time you should be able to tell if the attraction is more physical or emotional.

I think it's possible that you're discovering a bisexual nature in yourself. It's also possible that you're confusing feelings of emotional intimacy with feelings of sexual intimacy -- that is easy to do for the best of us! Especially given your history of sex abuse and self-injury, I would recommend you not make any rash choices either way. You need time to sort out your feelings. Remember one thing -- there is nothing inherently wrong with you...college is FAMOUS for being a time in women and men's lives where they sexually experiment with the same gender and sort out of these very same feelings. Take your time, really look inward, and talk to a trust friend or advisor if the feelings become too much for you to handle on your own. I don't know exactly how close you are to your teacher, but if it's an especially open friendship, you could even talk through these feelings with her. Only do this if you think it won't threaten the friendship or make it "weird" between the two of you though. I wish the best...just don't blame yourself or think you're bad for how you're feeling...you're a very normal young woman who has had a rough go of it. That's all.





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