Women only please. Do you ever get scared while having sex?!


Question: I never really liked sex much (even though I have 4 kids). I dont even like to talk abut it. It was more for my partner than me. But I just get scared (in the middle), or maybe its anxity. Is this normal?


Answers: I never really liked sex much (even though I have 4 kids). I dont even like to talk abut it. It was more for my partner than me. But I just get scared (in the middle), or maybe its anxity. Is this normal?

This sounds like something might have happened to you when you were a child, maybe something that you don't even remember-a trauma, molestation or something. IT is common in fact when that happens. I am not trying to be smart or anything. It happened to me when I was a child and I was a child, and for a long time until I got therapy, I was very afraid. It was so scary for me when I was being held down. It was a holdover from childhood. Also, it may have been something as simple as seeing someone else molested. That could trigger something in you also. Or it could be physical abuse. That sometimes does it. Whatever it is, I hope that you go into therapy, as there is not one person on this earth that does not need therapy at one time or another in their lives. I suggest that you find a place in your community that does it (if money is a problem) on a sliding scale. There is always one in about every community.They are usually comprehensive care places or something of that type. They sound fierce, but you make appointments and go about 2 times a month or once a month or more often if you need it. I hope that this helps you in some way. May God bless you and I will have you in my prayers.It may never be your favorite time but it might get until you would not get scared.
Sharon

i do ....but i was used as a child so i belive that is why for me....hopefly though that is not your problem

No, never. I would say you have some mental issues you need to work past. Your fear does not seem healthy.

I get stage fright just before we really get into it and my libido decreases but that's about it.

Why is it that you don't really like sex??? Have you had an orgasm before??

umm that happens to me i think its normal

scared of what exactly? i've never gotten those vibes...but i do get the feeling of giving birth sometimes when i do it and that kinda freaks me out.
i truly wouldn't consider that to be "normal" that you get scared. but you should talk to your partner about it so you guys can work something out.

I have never had this happen to me but I have heard of this happening to women who have had a traumatic incident in their past that they then repressed or forgot about. It is impossible to know if this is what is happening in your case without the help of a trained therapist. I suggest that you contact a licensed therapist who can help with the symptom you are describing. If you are having trouble locating one in your area I suggest you contact your local Rape Crisis Center who can provide you with a referral or contact information. Your personal physician may also be able to assist in this area.
Most importantly remember you do not have to be alone in this, there is help available. Take care.

Hmm? That's interesting. I do not get scared myself, I know you would probably like to connect with someone that does. But, were you ever sexually abused as a child? Just curious? Thats the first thing that pops into my mind. Second thing that comes in is- Are you happy in your relationship? Or are there times when you do not get scared and simply enjoy yourself, like maybe your are on top? If so, maybe you should not have sex if you dont want it. Another thing that pops into my mind, is maybe its a chemical thing for you...like, all the stimulus get you feeling like you are anxious-could be hormonal. Have you ever discussed it with your gynecologist? Might be worth asking her, might just be more common than we think.

Several factors I wonder about
Have you been abused before
Do you get pleasure(emotional and physical)
were you taught sex is wrong
do you subconsciously think sex is wrong?


Generally I would tell you everyone is different but fear during sex is not normal. You should seek out a counselor and figure out where this fear is coming from. I'm not saying you will end up loving sex because you may be someone who naturally doesn't care for it as much as someone else but there should never be fear.

I don't think that is normal. My first thought is, were you raped or sexually abused as a child? It sounds like you could benefit from some therapy to help you overcome this problem. It's considered more normal for women to have at least some enjoyment from sex with a partner they love and can trust. I think you need to get some help, sister! :)





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